Watching Lizzy

The daily biscuit comes in handy for me today as I recognized a weakness in my life. My daughter is a pre-preteen at 10 years old. She has started the pre-teen process a bit earlier than I expected. Her body is telling her she is one age while her mentality is still 10 years old. Sometimes I treat her like she is older because she looks older. What I mean by this is that I sometimes expect her to behave more maturely and handle things more responsibly than she is capable. So, I thought a mother/daughter day out would give me the opportunity to talk with her about this situation. We went to see the Lizzy Mcguire movie that she has been wanting to see ever since it came out. It was a really cute movie and it took me back to when I was her age. I remember when I would see movies like that as a kid. I would always leave with stars in my eyes and I knew the excitement and desires that were being stirred in her as she watched Lizzy's dreams come true in Rome. It was kinda cool. So, I asked her if she felt that way after the movie was over and of course, she did.



As we were driving home I shared some thoughts with her about life and some issues that needed to be dealt with and it all went well (although I don't know if it actually sunk it at all). Then, I began to think about the time we had at the movies. I recalled a prayer from earlier in the day when I asked the Lord to help me in the area of affection towards my children. As we sat watching the movie, I felt a bonding thing happening, something I haven't been feeling very often since the divorce. I remember when I used to want to cuddle and snuggle. Something has changed that part of me. I seem to try to distance myself from everyone. It's like something in me has gone defective. I have never had a problem with affection in the past. Anyhow, there was a bonding sensation when we were watching the movie, sharing popcorn, soda and candy (there's something bonding about having a junkfood sharathon). I felt the need to hug her and tell her how much I love her and that I am glad we are having this time together.



So, with the power of Christ made strong in my weakness the thing I most want to change about me today is....



I want to be able to love less selfishly. I want to be a mom who can satisfy the need her children have for affection. I want to be more encouraging, less critical, and more hands on with my children. I don't know where I lost the desire. I don't know when it became a chore to hug, hold, pray with, talk with, and share in the lives of my children. I'm thinking it began with the stress of trying to be a Christian, a mom, a dad, a student, a homemaker,a teacher and a friend all at the same time. I still need to be all of those things and I need to do it effectively but I can't do it in my own strength. I also need to do better with my list of priorities. I need to be a Godly Mom first. I need to edify more and criticize less. More than anything, I need to give a heartfelt, loving, motherly hug more often. If I want my children to grow up to be affectionate, loveable spouses and parents, I need to see to it that they experience it from me... now.



That is what I want to change about me.......TODAY. Help me, Lord.