Wednesday, March 31, 2004

Jesus is My Homeboy

I was walking in the mall today and went past Journeys. Displayed on the wall near the entrance was a T-shirt that pictured Christ with this message "Jesus is my homeboy".

I thought to myself what is that? What does that mean?

I was offended.

Jesus is so much more than that!

"Homeboy" just seems to minimize His worth. I thought Jesus is my SAVIOR! my REDEEMER! My CREATOR!

How can someone lower His status to "homeboy", and then I really started to think about it. What is a "homeboy"? So I went to my trusted source, the Urban Dictionary. A homeboy is one's "closest friend" by one informal definition.

Jesus is my friend. He calls me friend. Jesus desires a close personal relationship with me. What, Who can be closer than the Lover of my Soul? I wondered now, is Jesus my homeboy?

So I went to and learned

home-boy n. Slang
1. A male friend or acquaintance from one's neighborhood or hometown.
2. A fellow male gang member.

Ok, I can deal with a couple of the definitions of "homeboy", but I am thinking that in fact some of the meanings of the word "homeboy" just aren't very edifying at all. Jesus is NOT a gang member...sure, He led a "gang" of people around, but I don't think people locked their car doors when they came near. In the Urban Dictionary one definition actually says a homeboy is "a cat I...puff with, roll with..." I don't think Jesus was puffing, except when he dragged that cross to Golgotha. I really don't see him "rolling" with anyone either.

I am not sure how I feel about calling Jesus my homeboy. I guess if that is the terminology one is familiar with, it may be appropriate to use, but for me, I find the terminology innappropriate to use to describe Him. No word, or words, can describe Him because He IS the Word. Unfortunately, I find too many negative connotations with the word "homeboy" and nothing negative should ever be connected to Him. I don't think I will call Jesus my homeboy.

Sunday, March 28, 2004

Need a Revival?

On my way home today I saw a church sign advertising an event next week. It said "Come to the revival with Johnny ReviveMe" (I made up the name...just in case you were wondering!)

I said to Katie seated next to me in Jeepers, "If your church is doing what it is supposed to, why would you need a revival?"

Some say that it is good to hear from someone different for a change. Okay. Fine, so you hear from someone different, everyone is "revived" and the evangelist moves on to the next town and then what? What happens to all the "revived" people once things are back to normal? Heck, even in medicine, once a heart is revived with the defib paddles and chest compressions, a lifestyle change is in order. A patient would probably change diet, excercise more, and require follow-up visits for care of the heart. The evangelist goes home and what happens to the "heart" patients? Is there sufficient support staff back at the home church? If proper care is given to the "heart" in the first place, why would you need a revival? Wouldn't the heart be properly cared for and maintained? I think in a healthy church that it would be.

The church should always be allowing God to work. God never "de"revives people! If the church is letting God move in the hearts of His people, why would you need a revival?

I'm not saying that I believe it is wrong to have a charismatic speaker come in and "revive" God's people. Some respond positively to the message given them, and a charismatic evangelist may be just the person God intends to use to "get through". I know that there are non-Christians in worship services all the time, and maybe an evangelist could say just the right thing. Aren't all Christians called to be evangelists in one way or another? If the church is doing its job evangelising, why would you need a revival?

The Spirit of the Living God resides inside the heart of each Christian! Why would you need a revival?

Christians got the ultimate revival on the Third Day!

Why does it take a "revival" to remind us all of these things!?!?

Saturday, March 27, 2004

My Dog Is Sick

I couldn't sleep the other night. I was being kept awake by horrible noise. It was Whyzer's guts. Whyzer (Weezer) is my terrier/poodle mutt. He is 12 years old now. His insides sounded like the Fourth of July! Bombs bursting in air! I laughed out loud about it because his guts were quite obnoxious!

Early the next morning, really early, like 3 or 4 am, Whyzie started whining. He was at the door, needing desperately to be let out. Katie was none to pleased because I missed all of that (I did finally get to sleep) because I was sleeping hard. She was the one that got up to let him outside.

The next day, we discovered that Whyzer at one point had to go and we weren't up to let him out. He messed all over the floor. It was very loose stool...heck, I wouldn't even classify it as stool! ewwwwwwwwwwww, groooooooossssssssssssssss! Anway, he kept whining and needed to go outside a lot. He walked very labored and seemed to be in pain, probably abdominal distress...considering the shock and awe of the prior night.

We kept an eye on him all day, and Katie called me at work to ask if we should take him to the vet. It seemed serious enough to at least have him checked out. I get nervous when my dog is ill, especially now that he is twelve. He's getting up there!

The vet checked him for worms and then asked if she could run bloodwork. She was concerned because in feeling him, she thought that maybe there was an issue with his liver and that his eyes appeared a bit yellow. It could indicate a liver problem, so I said "run the tests".

The bloodwork came back fine. She said "perfect! As a matter of fact, this bloodwork is better than a lot of four year old dogs. I can't believe he's twelve!" She is passing off the illness as "a bug".

$77 and a few antibiotic pills later Whyzer is fine. Except that he is hairy. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay overdue for a haircut! (A grooming appointment was made for the 7th)

Isn't he cute?

At the moment he doesn't really look like this. His hair is so grown out he looks like a sheepdog! LOL But after his grooming, he will be as handsome as ever!

Secret Shopper

I'm bummed. My store got a secret shop report and it was not favorable. This is a blow to my ego and I am embarrassed. It has been eating a way at me, how I have failed. I have let myself down, and my team.

This reminds me of exactly how I felt when I, as the youngest player on the cities all-star softball team in 1980, was up at the plate. We were down by a few runs, late in the game. This was the final game of the series for the championship. I was a homerun hitter and thrived in those pressure situations. Here's the pitch and WHACK! HOMERUN! GRANDSLAM! I ran around the bases and approached home plate to the cheers of the team and took my place on the bench as the inning continued. We were now confident about the outcome of the game as we had pulled ahead. Then, to my dismay, the manager of the other team instructed his pitcher to throw the ball to first base and the umpire called "OUT". The runners from my team were told to return to their bases and no runs scored. We ended up losing the game. In a split second I went from hero to loser. I had failed to touch first base as I rounded it. My grandslam negated. We lose.

It is those moments that cause us to wish that we could turn back time. How I wish I could have a second chance to hit first base. I bet Ernest Byner has never forgotten "the fumble" as he was about to score a touchdown for the Brown's during a close playoff game in the 80's, or how many Brown's fans would love to have a chance to watch the Brown's defend "the drive" and stop Elway this time. I wish I could go back to last Sunday and earn a better shop score.

My staff is taught to welcome every single customer into the store by acknowledging them with an oral "hello", or by simple eye contact and a nod. We are taught to help every customer that needs help to the best of our ability. We have had some great shop scores in the past and last Sunday the secret shopper never even got help. Never once were they even greeted. We never interacted with the shopper in anyway shape or form. I've been dwelling on how the heck this could happen? I am always trying to make sure I say hello to everyone...At the very least! How did we manage to ignore a customer completely? The report came back making it sound like we don't even care if customers come into the store needing help finding something. IT IS SO NOT TRUE! I don't understand how this could have happened.

Since it has been eating away at me, I decided to try to find out where the failure occurred. While I don't have excuses, I do have an explanation. I learned that at the time of the shop, there were 34 customers in the store. That is a lot of people to the 3 employees on duty. The secret shopper reported that for most of their visit all three employees were behind the counter. One of my pet peeves is being stuck behind the counter, and I'm always saying to my employees "if there are no customers at the counter, you don't need to be there either". Why were we all at the counter? One employee was ringing out customers as there was a "steady stream" at the register. Because of the cash flow, I was called up front to do a "pick-up" and remove the overflow of cash from the till to put in the safe. The other employee was apparently on the phone and my guess is with a Ticketmaster customer, since 60%-70% of our calls are people inquiring about Tickets. (I hate having to deal with Ticketmaster!) or it may have been a customer calling about something music/movie related. While reading the journal tapes from that time period, I learned that we sold some games which means I was getting out a Nintendo Game Cube game. That is a behind the counter task because we keep the games locked up in a secure place and I need to fish them out when a customer buys one. I too was ringing sales, because at one point my associate was called away from the register to help another customer.

We were not slacking. We were not ignoring customers. We were not playing around. We were all working diligently to service the few customers we could get to and unfortunately, the secret shopper was not one of them. It was 34 customers to 3 employees, that's more than 11 customers per employee! It was a pressure situation! We were going for the grandslam but missed first base. I hate that. I want another chance.

I have instructed my team to "shake it off". We will be shopped again, and we are going for the grand slam! I want to be a member of the "100 Club"! Just like after that game where my grandslam was negated, I have never missed first base again. We are all newly reminded how important it is to get to every single customer. It has helped us focus a bit more, and that is a good thing. I know my team and I can do it, and we are going to work on earning that shop score that represents the wonderful team we are! I'm chalking this up as a "fluke" and we will do better next time. "Resistance is futile."

Wednesday, March 24, 2004

Recurring Dreams

Do you have a dream that you will dream now and again?

I do. I call it "The Teeth Dream".

The teeth dream involves a part in which all of my teeth fall out. Usually they fall out in pieces, tiny pieces, and the stream of tooth chips never seems to end. I keep spitting and sputtering out the splinters of enamel and I'm terrified the whole time. This is more of a nightmare I guess. My teeth are about the only part of my body that I like, so losing them would be a major bummer. Sometimes during the teeth dream I look into a mirror and I am horrified to see the jagged stubs of what remains of my teeth. Oh, the inhumanity!

I have another recurring dream. It involves me forgetting to go to class. I'm back in college or something and I suddenly realize that I have forgotten to attend a class. Not just one class mind you...the whole semester! It's time for the school year to end and I never attended class! It's a sick feeling and I always wake up from it. I never graduate! LOL

I was inspired to blog about my recurring dream tonight when I learned of a friend's dream. She has a recurring dream that a small ball of yarn begins to come at her and grows bigger and bigger, I guess like a snowball would, and it backs her into a wall. Then she wakes up. She was being attacked by a ball of yarn!

When I first met Katie and we were getting to know one another, Katie shared with me about her recurring dream...AND IT WAS THE TEETH DREAM! I've met one other person who has the teeth dream too. Isn't that weird?

Now, I'm curious...have you ever had "the teeth dream"? What are your recurring dreams/nightmares?

Probing the Body

Jack at Jack's Personal Growth Chart is doing an informal survey on the body of Christ. Go give her your input, it only took me about 5 minutes to complete. The results may be very interesting.

Tuesday, March 23, 2004


I'm bored.

Nothing really exciting is happening in my life at the moment. Maybe God is working, but I don't really see Him.

I get up everyday, go to work, come home and play, go to bed and then start all over again tomorrow. Katie gets annoyed that after my shower everyday when I yell from the bathroom "I hate this part!" I am referring to how boring it is to dry off after a shower and then get dressed. I really do hate that part! It's so boring. The shower part is great though!

It's like the game The Sims. Have you ever played it? I did for awhile, but got bored with it because every day was the same thing. Get up, use the bathroom, shower, eat, go to work, come home, eat, use the bathroom, sleep. Barely any time at all for tv, meeting with friends, computer time, playing games, gardening, or whatever. In that game there aren't even weekends, so it was the same ol' same ol'. Just like life.

I've been thinking that I have not been blogging much lately. It is because I can't come up with anything to blog about.

The subjects of my blogs are inspired by events in my life and since there really haven't been any, I'm at a loss as to what to post about.

For awhile, there was very interesting stuff happening at work, but nothing I could post about because it wouldn't edify and it is not stuff to "make public". I have been at work so much that I haven't been making it to church, so I can't even blog about that. I am really bummed because last Sunday some amazing things about the service were reported to me and I missed a great experience. I made it to SaLT group Sunday night, late, because of work, and missed some of the discussion. I get there just to be able to spend some time with those wonderful brothers and sisters. We are reading through a Purpose Driven Life, but for me the purpose has stalled a bit. We got derailed around the holidays because our meeting together was so sporadic and we haven't gotten back on track yet, or at least I haven't. I didn't read in preparation for SaLT, so I had little to contribute. I am not using my spiritual gifts and that is not good. I have the gifts of wisdom, discernment and prophecy and I should be using those gifts to help build up the body and glorify God. I have to prepare better. Read the material and ponder it. Share ideas. Maybe if I did that something more exciting would happen there, and in my life in general.

Even my online game play has been less than exciting. This is due in part to the fact that Battlefield Vietnam was released and many of the guys have been playing that new game, leaving me to continue in BF1942 without them, so some of the community time is gone. It will change I'm sure, as the novelty of the game wears off and anyway, I'm using the time to improve my flying skills. I am enjoying my new joystick, but I do miss the guys of Sherwood Forest.

I have the next couple of days off. I'm hoping to not be bored.

Monday, March 22, 2004

Been There Done That

There is something a Christian can say that a non-believer can't. That would be "I have been where you are." You see, as believers we have all been non-believers at one time or another. All believers have had a world view of life at one time. I can understand why people believe in the things that I used to believe in and support. I can understand somebody fighting for their "right to...whatever" I can understand why secular society believes that a person should do what "feels good" and as long it doesn't hurt anybody then it's ok. Sadly does...but that's another blog. Believe it or not...I was actually very liberal at one time. But something happens when you ask Christ to come into your heart and change you....HE DOES! He did.

My point is...I can say "I've been in your shoes". But, a non-believer can NOT say that they have walked in mine. They can NOT understand what it is like to have the Spirit of the LIVING GOD in control of their life. Therefore, they can criticize me, judge me, point the finger, make excuses...whatever...but they can Not understand what drives me to fight for God's glory. They will remain ignorant of a life in Christ until they allow Him to have theirs. I praise God for the day He saved me from myself and began to fill me with the wisdom of the Holy Spirit.

Sunday, March 21, 2004

I'm So Embarrassed!

Sometimes I can be such a dork! Today at work a man came in looking for a certain CD. It's and old Sly & the Family Stone CD "Stand" that he had ordered once from us about a year ago. HE let a friend borrow his CD and hasn't seen the thing since. He came back to order another one. He assumed since he ordered it the last time that we would have to order it again, that it was a CD that was not normally kept on the shelves. I assumed this too...against my better judgement. (I should know better...always check the bin!)

I looked up the CD information and proceeded to get the man's name and contact information so we can let him know when the CD came in. After the man left the counter area, I thought that I might just go see if we happened to have the CD in stock. It was there! I grabbed it right up and looked around to find the man and give it to him now. I didn't see him.

I looked around some more but couldn't find him so I thought maybe he left the store. Since he gave me his cell phone number I decided to call. As I was dialing I was mentioning to my associate how embarrassed I was that I had just ordered a CD that was right here in the store! LOL So the guy answers the phone..."Hi Mr. Soandso, this is Sue at FYE. You were just here ordering a CD and I"m calling to let you know I have it here." I noticed that the same music I had playing in the store was the same music this man was listening to. How odd. What are the chances?

The man said "Ok, I'm still here." I said "I was hoping to catch you before you left the mall." He said again "I'm still here, I'm right here." So, I look up to see him coming toward me. He had never left the store! LOLOL I was so embarrassed! So we carried on a short conversation as he made his way to the check out. Oh brother...saved a sale though!

Wednesday, March 17, 2004

Tennessee and Low Literacy

This doesn't surprise me at all. This is why I suffer from major culture shock. It has been very frustrating living here in West TN. It is why I constantly struggle with a low tolerance for stupidity.

Meg Nugent, executive director of the Nashville Adult Literacy Council says:

"It's got to do with poverty. We see a big correlation between poverty and under-education.''

Imagine that.

Tuesday, March 16, 2004

Nine Layers

Grabbed this at Tony's blog, but originally saw it at Michael's. During that time in between I have seen it at numerous blogs, so I'm throwing mine into the mix:

The whole NINE LAYERS thing:


- Name: Susan Louise Prince, most call me Sue

- Birthdate: August 6, 1966

- Birthplace: St. Ann's hospital Cleveland, OH

- Current Location: Humboldt, TN (West TN)

- Eye Color: hazel

- Hair Color: brown

- Righty or Lefty: righty

- Sun Sign: Sun sign? What the heck is a sun sign? Does this have anything to do with astrology? The Zodiac? I'm a Leo if that is the case, but I don't do astrology.


- Your heritage: Ummmmmm, have no clue. Adopted.

- The shoes you wore today: my late Aunt's Timberland work shoe/boot things.

- Your hair: shoulder length and I was already asked about my hair. Yes, I have it.

- Your eyes: are weak and I wear spectacles.

- Your weakness: you mean besides my eyes? Impatience, low tolerance for stupidity, and I'm very selfish with my time.

- Your fears: I have a horrid food phobia. I also fear financial trouble. Oh, and I hate slugs! They are reaaaaaaaally grooooosssssssssss in the south.

- Your perfect pizza: NONE! I HATE PIZZA! (Refer to "fears")

- One thing you'd like to achieve: financial freedom! I'd also love the opportunity, God willing, to lead someone to know Christ. The biggest achievement would be to truly love God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength.


- Your most overused phrase on IM: LOL

- Your first waking thoughts: I don't wanna get up.

- The first feature you notice in the opposite sex: jaw

- Your best physical feature: teeth, I have nice teeth for the very little dental work I've ever had done.

- Your bedtime: between 11:00pm and midnight

- Your greatest fear: MUSTARD (food phobia), and my teeth falling out in millions of tiny pieces.

- Your greatest accomplishment: abstinence

- Your most missed memory: playing softball


- Pepsi or Coke: Coke, only the Real Thing for me

- McDonald's or Burger King: BK

- Single or group dates: dates?

- Adidas or Nike: Nike

- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton

- Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate

- Cappuccino or coffee: coffee


- Smoke: no

- Cuss: no

- Sing: like a star in the car!

- Take a shower everyday: yes

- Have a crush(es): no

- Who are they: N/A

- Do you think you've been in love: no

- Want to go to college: already did

- Like high school: loved it! I'd go back if I could!

- Want to get married: no, but if God sends me someone, that could change my heart!

- Believe in yourself: yes, I believe in the God within me

- Type with your fingers on the right keys: yes, well, mostly. Does that include the #s?

- Think you're attractive: no

- Think you're a health freak: no

- Get along with your parents: yes

- Play an instrument: trumpet

LAYER SIX: In the past month, did you...

- Drink alcohol: no

- Smoke: no

- Do a drug: no

- Make Out: no

- Go on a date: no

- Eat an entire box of Oreos: no

- Eat sushi: ABSOLUTELY NOT!

- Been on stage: yes

- Been dumped: no

- Gone skating: no

- Made homemade cookies: no

- Been in love: no

- Gone skinny dipping: no

- Dyed your hair: no

- Stolen anything: no, not on purpose (see below under Shoplifted)

LAYER SEVEN: Have you ever...

- Played a game that required removal of clothing: no

- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: yes

- Been caught "doing something": no

- Been called a tease: no

- Gotten beaten up: no

- Shoplifted: unintentionally, does that count? I put it back once I realized I accidently walked out of the store with the item!

- If so, did you get caught: no

- Changed who you were to fit in: never


- Age you hope to be married: while I’m still alive, no really I don’t see myself marrying

- Numbers and Names of Children: none

- Describe your Dream Wedding: jeans and a T-shirt in my church, in front of my brothers and sisters in Christ, and before my God.

- How do you want to die: quickly and painlessly

- Where you want to go to college: already went

- What do you want to be when you grow up: the person God wants me to be, I haven't figured it out yet.

- What country would you most like to visit: Iceland


- Number of boys I have kissed: 4

- Number of boyfriends you've had: 2

- Number of drugs taken illegally: none

- Number of people I could trust with my life: 3

- Number of CDs that I own: 1700 + or - a few

- Number of piercings: none

- Number of tattoos: none

- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: I don't know, maybe 25+

- Number of scars on my body: two

- Number of things in my past that I regret: 2

So, that's a bit from all my layers.

Sunday, March 14, 2004

What I'm Listening To

Discovered a worship leader recently who I hadn't heard of. I kept having people come in to the store asking for Martha Munizzi. The people asking me where those who listen to black gospel music, so I naturally assumed that this person was a black gospel artist. So, I looked her up on the MUZE at work and she was listed as "rock" music. That puzzled me. The customer told me she was praise and worship. My store computer lists her as "Contemporary Christian". So, I visited her website and immediately discovered that Martha Munizzi is indeed anointed to lead people into worship! Whew! Powerful, energetic stuff! (*I do have to say, while I enjoy the music, I do know very little about her ministry and I must admit that I question some of the affiliations listed at her site.)

Another gem is the new Tree 63 CD. Solid, guitar driven rock that has positive themes and the Answer to the Question! Go play around their website and get a listen. I'm disappointed though that their new stuff doesn't appear to be represented on the site...what's up with that? Duh! Shouldn't they heavily promoting the new stuff?

Casting Crowns. I bragged on them before. I'm doing it again. It's good stuff.

Thursday, March 11, 2004

You Know You're in the South When...

I'm from Ohio and had lived in the Midwest all my life until 4 years ago. Let me just say it has been "culture shock" getting used to the way of life in the South. I keep asking about "rebel pride"? Why do southerners proudly display bumper stickers announcing their "rebel pride"? I can't figure out what they are proud of? When I one can tell me!

Driving to town the other day I happened across a sign that caught my attention months ago. It is displayed in the backyard of a resident that is adjacent to the main bypass route around this little town. I laughed when I first saw it and still find it somewhat humorous, and hopefully not true! Yesterday I drove by and said to myself only in the south.

See the sign for yourself! Weird how when I came home, the sign was featured in the local paper!

Tuesday, March 09, 2004

Do You Have Change For This?

Hmmmm, and I get upset when people try to buy a $10.00 item with a $100 bill first thing in the morning. At least I've never had someone ask if I have change for a $1M Bill!

Sunday, March 07, 2004


Here is a picture of my new joystick! Wooohoooooo! It's coming this week and soon I will be a feared pilot among the ranks of the enemy in Battlefield 1942!

Flying with a mouse and keyboard is a bit difficult. Some have mastered that, but I have been unable to do much damage to the enemy when I am in a plane. I do great damage to myself and my plane though. My insurance premiums were getting out of control and I figured the money I spend on that could be better put to use on a joystick. So...look out!

I wonder if I'll ever happen upon:

Saturday, March 06, 2004


I just wanted to say thank you, publically, for whomever invented "UNDO" in word processing programs. This is possibly the most useful tool I use while doing the Ministry 2 Women's Newsletter every month.

Friday, March 05, 2004

Thou Shall Not Steal

In this article today, Thou shalt not steal... especially a Bible, I learned that Bibles are among the most frequently stolen books. It always blows my mind when I find that a gospel CD has been stolen out of my store, but to actually steal the Bible! Wow! Wouldn't be something if the thief read it?

Thursday, March 04, 2004

Friday Five

The Friday Five:

What was...

1. ...your first grade teacher's name? Ummmmmmmm...oh no! It's happening! I'm forgetting this kind of stuff! I think it was Mrs. Smith...but that just doesn't seem right. Mrs. Cobb was kindergarten, Mrs. Hatton second, Mrs. Kofron was third. Mrs. Matthews was fourth, Ms. Demarco was fifth...okay, I'm going with Mrs. Smith in first. I don't see how I can remember all the other grades and not trust myself on this one!

2. ...your favorite Saturday morning cartoon? I don't even remember...I remember not wanting to miss Marlo and the Magic Movie Machine on Sunday mornings though. I'll go with the Roadrunner. Beep Beep!

3. ...the name of your very first best friend? Lynn Hale...I'm not counting all the "best friends" I had as a little kid. Lynn was my first best friend when friends really became important in life during high school.

4. ...your favorite breakfast cereal? Chocolate Crazy Cow...anyone remember Crazy Cow cereal? I loved that stuff! Oh...and what about Grins, Smiles, Giggles and Laughs w/ Cecil? That was another favorite.

5. ...your favorite thing to do after school? I remember when I was in high school rushing home to watch General Hospital and eat Town House Crackers dipped in my hot chocolate. I was hooked on GH during those Luke and Laura years!

The Passion...the Second Time

Still powerful. Whew.

Lines formed a half hour before show time. The theatre was not as full this time...maybe three-quarters and I was surprised to see younger children there this time. Hmmmmm. I wonder how they will process what they witnessed today? I understand the argument that Christian parents want their kids to understand Jesus' sacrifice, but I'm not sure Christian parents totally understand, even after the film, so what could we expect for a nine or ten year old? I would think that all the kid sees is blood and brutality and that may be nightmare material. The images of the cruelty of humanity are disturbing to me, I can't imagine seeing that as a young child.

Every drop of blood, HIS blood, matters. Every single drop. Shouldn't we cherish that? Shouldn't that mean something to us as Christians? as humans? If you want to know about humanity...shouldn't we look to Jesus? the Perfect human? Isn't it He that exemplifies what humanity should be? Even those who deny He is the Son of God, will often agree that he was an extraordinary man, a unique human, and could possibly agree that He is the perfect human. The innocent blood of that perfect human was shed. The scene with the Marys wiping up the blood speaks volumes I think. It artistically conveys this principle, that every drop of His blood matters.

I'm still shaken at the sight of Jesus looking into the eyes of Peter who came to realize he just denied Christ. Again, Jesus could have stopped all that bloodshed and all that torture at that moment, but he continued on. He continued for Peter. He continued for me. Peter was immediately convicted and ran for comfort. The comfort he sought he did not immediately receive. He ran to Mary, yet didn't accept any comfort from her, the mother of his Savior. Peter knew she did not have what he needed and He was "unworthy" as we all are. He ran away, still searching for the One who could comfort. "Seek and you shall find" and that is what Peter did.

I still ponder the difference between Judas and Peter. Where was it that Judas crossed over? Satan entered him at the Last Supper and Jesus declared that "only one was lost". In the film, Judas is seen fighting off his "demons", but I figure if satan entered him why would the demons continue to taunt him? Wouldn't they be on the same team? But it seems Judas did show some remorse for his sin and tried to give back the blood money. When was it that Judas was beyond the point of no return? When was it that Judas was condemned? Was it when he accepted money for the betrayal? or when he kissed Jesus in the garden? or could he have repented at that point and been saved? Was he condemned when he took his own life? And why wasn't Peter condemned? Was Peter's remorse more meaningful? Did Judas try to give the money back just to make himself feel better? This is one of those "God knows the heart" issues and I will probably never be able to pinpoint the exact difference between Peter's denial and Judas' betrayal, why one of those men was condemned, yet the other saved.

When I try to put myself there, in that crowd watching Jesus struggle up the hill with his cross, I wonder about what my reaction would be. Horror. It would be horror. I would probably turn away. Or maybe not. Maybe I would run away. Maybe I would want to leap in there and try to help. I don't know. My heart is drained thinking about it. What things did go through the minds of those actually witnessing the event? Some with tender merciful hearts I'm sure were horrified and actively maintained restraint in a situation where they wish they could put a stop to it, but felt helpless to do so. Some even probably understood the prophecy and that it was being fulfilled before their eyes (if they were still around to be a witness to the events): Zechariah, Simeon, Mary, His mother, or simply trusted God in this chain of events. Some were afraid to place faith in a "blasphemer", some probably knew nothing of the events at hand and just wanted to find out what was going on. Then I wonder what the old "crowd mentality" was doing to a few people. It's amazing how influential a bunch of loud mouths in a group can be!

I don't think I will ever absorb all of what He did for me.

I think Dave says it best.

I Wonder When

I wonder when this will be involuntary? Could it be? Should it be?

Monday, March 01, 2004

What's That Smell?

For over a month now Katie and I have complained about this smell emanating from our kitchen closet. This is a HUGE closet which at one time housed the washer and dryer and is used today more as a pantry just off the kitchen and also that is where the trash can is.

We emptied the trash, and Katie cleaned out the closet trying to find the source of the horrendous odor. It smells like a rotting carcass or something. It's that bad! It appears to be worsening as the weather gets warmer. None of this is a good sign.

She hypothesized that it could be a mouse that got stuck and died in the wall. I've heard of this happening so I suppose it could be. We also wonder if maybe something crawled up under the house and died there...but I figure we'd smell it in more than just that isolated area of the house if that were the case.

Regardless our minds started wandering. Have you seen that neighborhood cat recently? Hmmmmmmmmm? Could it be? Then Katie had the best one "Well, there is a missing family!"

Ewwwwwwwwwww, groooooooooosssssssssssssssss!