How Was My Day (Part II)?

It wasn't the bank's fault. Many like to blame the bank for making a posting error, or not crediting the account in time, but not me. I accept the blame. I did it. I didn't watch my account close enough and BAM! NON SUFFICIENT FUNDS. OVERDRAWN! I could kick myself. I hate when I screw up like this, especially when I live paycheck to paycheck, like most people do. It was just a dumb mistake. Dumb.



When I came home from work yesterday and walked into the house, I noticed that the room temperature was warmer than outside. The outside temp was 77 degrees and warmer than that, noticably warmer, would make it above 80 degrees in the house. I was puzzled so naturally I checked the thermostat. It was set for about 75 degrees, but it was 87 degree in the house! Not good. There had been a pretty short, but fierce electrical storm. Lots of lightning and thunder and heavy downpours, but it didn't last long. I started wondering what happened. Power surge? So I checked the fuse panel and 3 switches were tripped. I turned everything back on and went over to the thermostat again. Nothing. I can hear the fan on the AC, but no air was moving into the house. Compressor problem? I don't know. I'm clueless. All I know is that it was hot and I was starting to see $$$!



Work has been very defeating lately. I work hard, VERY hard, and feel like I get nowhere. I had a visit from my regional manager, and overall the visit was good. It was just stressful getting the store in shape. It is not easy to get the store in shape, let alone keep it in shape, with the labor hours I am allowed. What I did get out of my RM's visit was that he realizes the strain we are all under. He was encouraging for the most part. I had my 40 hours in yesterday, with 2 more days to work this week. Today was the yearly inventory of the store and I left the house at 4am. I am so exhausted. Physically and mentally.



So, how am I spiritually? That is my sister's, Katie's, greatest concern. I am better today actually. Last night she and I chatted on AOL IM for awhile after my tiring and stressful day at work, my checking account in the negative, and the fact that the house was a steamy 85° did not have me in a good mood. I was blaming God for my difficulties and then taking my stresses out on her. Why? Why do I behave so stupid?



I know that God loves me. I try very hard to live a life pleasing to him. Yesterday I failed horribly with my poor attitude and anxieties. All I can see in my life lately is negative stuff. I am not thinking negative thoughts all day everday, but when things happen like the AC not working, I get very upset. I see everything that is wrong. It's like a giant highlighter comes out of nowhere and marks up all the bad things happening and I can't see any of the good. Today, I looked for the good. It felt much better.



I didn't sleep well last night. Worrying and boy was it HOT! I also knew I had to get up very early for inventory and that is always fun. NOT! I did cry out to God. Today, He answered gently. No major "sign", no major "revelation", just wonder. I called the AC man and he will be able to make it out today. Which is good because temps for this weekend are forecast to be around 95° and humid. After that I called my dad. Dad, wow, God blessed me with an awesome man in my life. My dad loves me so much. He answered the phone. Not God, Dad! LOL When I call home I usually call to talk to mom, because, well, mom is a lot more talkative than Dad. LOL But, it was Dad that I needed to ask a favor of. I told my dad that my AC was broken, that a repair guy was going to look at it today, and asked if he could help me financially if I needed help. Without hesitation he said "sure". Why did I waste all that sleep time worrying last night. I know the parents that I have been blessed with. I know that when I call on them with a need that they will do whatever they can to provide. Not once have they failed me. (Except for the time my mom killed my goose, but that's another blog. LOL) I think I worry more about the fact that I am in need. I hate being in need. It's that pride problem I have!



So, inventory went well. I got good feedback from Bob and he also told me that Stuart mentioned that the company is going to have to reprioritize things because he recognizes the strain that has been put on the field staff. Not that anything will get done about it, but I was glad to know that at least I'm not the only one seeing that there is a problem with the workload. It's nice when your superiors recognize it as well. My dad was there to help me out like he always is, and when I got home today Katie had left a nice message for me on the answering machine. I even called the bank to let them know my car loan payment was going to be 4 days late and the nice woman laughed when I told her that. (She must not get people calling to tell her that a lot.) She told me I have a 7 day grace period. Grace. Period! I like Grace!



God smacked me upside the head today. He said "wake up! Don't you see? I have given you your parents, you have a good boss who does his best to look out for you (and not write you up when you get in one of those rebellious moods! LOL), you have a house, a good job in a field you love, you are surrounded by people who love you and you have a best friend who forgives you when you treat her so poorly and loves you anyway."



I might not have AC, but there are hundreds of people just down the road from here that lost their homes last month in the tornado. I overdrew my account, but in the grand scheme of things I don't even think that black mark shows up in the Book of Life. My store is not in the best shape, but I have a job that I do enjoy. Work has been difficult lately, but I have the opportunity to work. Many around here are unable to find employment. I have wonderful parents that I can go to in need and they actually look forward to times that they can help out and participate in my life. Many do not enjoy such blessings. God worked in my life today. He is molding me. I can feel it.