Tuesday, September 30, 2003

Urban Dictionary.com: Define Your World

Finally, a tool I will find useful for work! UrbanDictionary.com: Define Your World is up on the latest urban slang. In my music retail business in Jackson, TN, it is very necessary for me to understand my customer. Until now it was all learn as I go, but now I have found a resource! Woooohoooooo! (*Please note that some language at urbandictionary.com may be offensive)

Thou Shall Not Murder

I've been asked to pray for someone very special to me. She shared recently in a public forum that a long time ago, in younger years, she had an abortion. The news that I heard from her that day did somewhat shock me. I know that before God gets a hold of us, we are very carnal. In fact, carnality is a constant fight in a Christian's life always. She didn't share in great detail about the circumstances, but she did say she often feels very ashamed and that God has recently started to move in her life to the point where she is being freed of the bondage of her past. It was an awesome time of confession, repentance and forgiveness.

She went on to explain how it was very difficult for her to be in Dave Gushee's ethics class and couldn't always bring herself to be there. The subjects explored sometimes hit a little to "close to home for her".

While I was reading in my latest issue of CCM magazine, I saw a picture of a fan at one of this past summer's Christian music festivals. I noticed that a T-shirt worn by the individual was solid black and in white letters it said "Abortion is homicide".

What the t-shirt says is correct. How it says it? I'm not sure. It definitely isn't sugar coating anything and that is good. I don't think sin should be sugar coated. But, then I thought about my friend and how seeing something like that would be a reminder, a trigger. I wonder how those who have gone through something as devastating as abortion react when they see a shirt like that? I wonder if some would even wear that shirt because they know how horrible abortion is, and would work to try to keep another from making a terrible mistake.

Hearing some of my friend's story made me realize even more that only Jesus redeems us. We can't change our past, but He is there, willing to wipe off the dry erase board of our life. Some colors are more difficult than others to completely remove from that board. Ever notice that? Black comes off pretty quickly, like the move from a sinner's life in the darkness to life in the Light. Then there is red...red...that doesn't like to come off at all, but it will with some washing. I find that blue is the toughest to remove. The bruised and battered history of our past sins. Jesus erases them, yet we keep writing on that board. He erases them again, and we still see the residue. We can still make out the words. We can see the outline of the words that condemn...we know that these words are not from our Lord, but they are straight from hell.

Glad I Wasn't There

Beautiful picture eh? And I am glad I wasn't there. Along with the beauty of it and the power...I'd be chicken to stay to watch it roll in.


Sunday, September 28, 2003

Kindred Spirits

There we sat in the living room of Dr. and Mrs. Paul Jackson. We had our coffee and some of us had warm cider. Our stomachs were full and we were discussing the video we just watched from the Willow Creek convention. Dr. Jackson is the full time pastor at Northbrook. He also teaches at Union University. Some of his students attend our SaLT group and they refer to him as Dr. Jackson or just Dr. J... I simply call him Paul. Anyhow, there he sat, on the livingroom floor, professor, pastor.......big galoot, teddy bear in his worn out sweats and socks. As for the rest of us, we were just as comfortable as we sat around the room with our shoes off reclined on the couch, in chairs or relaxed like pastor on the floor, sipping our drinks and having conversation. One small section of one huge Northbrook family.

This morning we had the most awesome time of worship together. We sang about the name of Jesus and read scriptures from all through the Bible that referred to the Name of God. We had all women doing the music this morning and we all took turns reading the scripture with music in the background. It was great! The message today was on the third commandment....not taking the name of God in vain. What an awesome message it was too!

Then tonight, as usual, our Northbrook family broke up into smaller groups in one another's homes and fellowshipped once again. I don't know what went on in the other groups but I truly felt the same presense of being with family tonight in that small group of about 10 or 15 people as I did in that large group of about 400 or so this morning. The only thing was that it was more intimate, more cozy, more at home. I was with my family. I felt a sense of comfort, and love that is only present when that One Spirit that Lives in Me joins me to another in whom He also lives. That Spirit is the Spirit of the Living God. Jesus.....Name Above All!

Thursday, September 25, 2003

I Said "Thank You"

When I dropped some crumbs of cake onto the floor just now, I called for my dog. Whyzer (Weezer), while I have trained him not to beg and I have never fed him "people food" from my hand, is a great crumb cleaner when I drop food on the floor.

He responds promptly when he hears "Whyzer, get that". It doesn't matter if he has been napping for an hour, he always hears that call. Sometimes I even think he knows when I drop something and he just waits for the command.

Just now, when he cleaned up my cake crumbs I said, as if I was thanking the kids for mowing the lawn today, "Thank you Whyzie".

I said "Thank you Whyzie" LIKE HE CARES!

Wednesday, September 24, 2003

Something Different

LunaNiƃ±a.com | Unconscious Mutterings Home

Word associations...

  1. Savings:: account

  2. On:: off

  3. Wire:: bird

  4. Word:: microsoft

  5. Bladder:: Stands with Fist (I just watched Dances with Wolves. It was explained that what the character used to gather water from the river were actual animal bladders. See...it makes sense to you now!)

  6. Missing:: Amber

  7. Side:: Mashed Tators

  8. Window:: pane

  9. Digit:: finger

  10. Swirl:: fudge

I Just About Had a Heart Attack!

*sigh* Deep breath...I've been emailing myself all day. Since I got my new Cowbox computer I've had to transfer over some files from the old to the new. Since my old pc was a basic floppy-drive only pc, some programs/files/folders I had on there were too big to save to floppy and move over here. I don't have a networking card in the old pc so I couldn't do a simple transfer from the old pc to Cowbox. (That would have been way too simple!) So, I decided to email myself all the programs and files that I wanted from the old pc. That was fun and not good for an impatient person like me! (Thank goodness for DSL!)

Well, I did it and then tried to get my website files in order but then I hit the dreaded ftp upload button and BAM! My blog archive files are gone! WHEN I REALIZED THIS I ABOUT DIED! For the bloggers' out there, you know how a year or so of posts gone in an instant can stab you through the heart! I about had a heart attack! DEFIB! CPR! CALL 911!!!!!!!! I had that "panic" feeling whoosh over me and through me and I lost my breath for a moment. I regained composure when I thought They'll be at blogger, don't panic.

So, I checked and my new archive files were intact, I simply republished, but MY OLD ARCHIVE FILES ARE GONE GONE GONE! I NEED A NITRO! I FREAKED OUT! (As I blog about it I'm getting that feeling of doom again!) So, my brain shifts into overdrive because I refuse to believe all hope is lost. My first eight months of blogging just vanished into thin air. I don't have back up copies...(that may change after this episode!). Then I had one last thought as I scrambled for a solution. They are still on the server duh. The only thing I published over top of was the archive link page. So, next I went to a place I can trust.

Google! GOOGLE!

I love Google.

Google is my new best friend.

I swiped the source file from the cache that Google had for my archive link page and viola'!


All is right with the world.

Sunday, September 21, 2003

I Hate When My Friend Hurts

She cried last night. Real tears. Tears of frustration. Tears of pain. Anger was surfacing as she called out to the Healer and asked him why? Why? WHY? "God, why don't you heal my head? Why do you let my head hurt non-stop?". She tried ice. She tried heat. She tried compression. Nothing stopped the pain. The constant pain of her migraine.

I hate when my friend hurts and there is nothing I can do. Nothing. While her brain is about to explode, I can do nothing. I see her suffer and can do nothing. She said "I just want this to end. I want to die. I can't take this pain day after day after day after day."

Why does God allow us to suffer? I never even know what to say to her.

She doesn't want migraine to "run her life" so she forges on ahead. Studying for school. Reading her Bible. Raising her kids. Taking care of the house and a few minutes ago she arose to bake a cake. Yes, bake a cake. She says "it's nothing." The last thing I think to do with a minor headache is bake a cake! She's a mom. Mom's don't stop. It's as though they can't stop.

Friday, September 19, 2003


My poll about how you find new blogs to read seems to indicate that the most efficient way is to follow links from one weblog to another. Since that is so, here are some blogs I've been reading lately:

*Megan shares about how disappointing it is to watch a good person waste away their life.

*Gann's reports that his wife is getting close to that due date.

*Rae was at work and through certain circumstances his beautiful baby girl Zoe spent the day at my house. What a cutie! She was so good too! (Scroll down the blog to see a pic.)

*Kevin shares a recent experience from a Band of Brothers marathon.

*She cries and longs for Home.

*Megan talks about stepping out in faith.

So there's some new reading for you! Follow that blog!

Oh, and don't forget to go to the poll! If you haven't yet participated in the poll, please do so. You can see it there in the menu on the left. Pick up to four ways that you find blogs. Use the comments to tell me of any method not listed. Thanks for your participation!

Friday Five

the friday five with yet another set of questions for those of us at a loss as to what the heck to blog!

1. Who is your favorite singer/musician? Why? I can't say that I have a favorite because it seems I have a few. When I think about who it is I most look forward to hearing something new from, it would be Jennifer Knapp and maybe the Indigo Girls. I really enjoy the music these artists put out and I also have more respect for artists that create their own music. They write their own stuff and usually it's written intelligently and thoughtfully. They are professional musicians and are very good at playing their instruments. I wouldn't necessarily call any of their voices angelic, but it is how they use their voice in their music that is impressive to me. It's not always about having the most beautiful voice, but sometimes it's how it's used.

2. What one singer/musician can you not stand? Why? There are many that I can't stand! Mostly I can't stand a musician because I don't like their music (most "pop" stuff like Backstreet Boys, NSync, Plus One, etc.) or I don't necessarily appreciate their public persona (Britney Spears, Marilyn Manson, etc). I really really really can't stand music in which the lead singer screeches and screams like a demon. I have even heard that kind of stuff in Christian music (12 Stones - I know, I know...mainstream) and don't like it there either. That's not music to me. It seems unnecessary. It's scary!

3. If your favorite singer wasn't in the music business, do you think you would still like him/her as a person? I have no idea because I really don't know what my favorite artists are like off stage. I've met Jennifer Knapp and she seems cool enough, I think we could hang out one afternoon and chat, but who really knows if our personalities would "click". I really get the impression that Rebecca St. James is a Godly young woman and seems to really have a heart for God, from the interviews I've seen her in. She is someone who really seems to be on stage the same person she is off stage. There really is no way to know.

4. Have you been to any concerts? If yes, who put on the best show? I've been to a few. I think that one concert that is very memorable for me was when I was dragged to a Bruce Springsteen concert. I really didn't like "the Boss" or his music, but my best friend was "in love" with him. I went to his show in Cleveland back in the 1980's for the Born in the Usa tour and was blown away! That man really puts on a show! Wow! I gained a new appreciation for him and his music that day and when he came back around for his next tour, I went voluntarily that time! He's a true rock n' roller and a great entertainer. Another performer I really enjoyed was Jim Brickman. Quite a change of pace huh!? LOL Jim Brickman is America's newest romantic piano sensation. I went to his show in Des Moines, IA in 1998 and really didn't know what to expect. I had some free tickets and thought "what the heck". That night was so much fun. Brickman was an awesome storyteller and a great musician. He had me laughing so much! I think I laughed more at his stories than I had at some comedians I had paid to see! His music is so melodic and romantic and fantastic! He has been very successful in his recording career that started out writing some of the letter jingles for Sesame Street, and commercial jingles like "GE we bring good things to life" and "Don't treat your puppy like a dog dog dog..." I really enjoyed that show and if ever the opportunity arises, I'd recommend you check him out. Oh, and before I went to his concert, I had no idea he was a native of Cleveland, OH! It was an interesting surprise to learn that some of his songs were written about places I knew!

5. What are your thoughts on downloading free music online vs. purchasing albums? Do you feel the RIAA is right in its pursuit to stop people from dowloading free music? I think it is wrong as I've posted about before. I am glad to know that record labels finally got a clue and are lowering the prices. I will enjoy marking prices down in my store because I really believe it is long overdue. I think many people will opt to spend a reasonable amount on purchasing CD's ($5-$10) rather than burn them. I do believe the RIAA is right to pursue those who flagrantly violate the copyright law. It will be interesting to see how this stuff can actually be enforced. I am most bothered by society in that many people really can not understand why stealing is not wrong?

Thursday, September 18, 2003

Owwwwie! My Eyes!

My eyes are burning! On my way home my eyeballs started burning. I hate that. I think it's from fatigue and having to keep my eyes open as I drove for 10 hours today.

I'm glad to be home. I'm playing with my Cowbox computer and getting all the personalizing set up and whatnot. It's fun! I LOVE COWBOX!

Now I may play Sim City. Mom gave me a pack of games when I went home. It was the bundle pack that came with her new pc and since she's not much into games she knew who was and gave them to meeeee! YAY!

Eventually I'm gonna have to play around and make a new newsletter for the women's ministry. All the old stuff is on the old pc and the program is NOT one I plan to use again. I will learn the Microsoft newsletter program and it's just gonna have a new look now. YAY!

I put drops in my eyes...NOW THEY BURN MORE! WHAT'S THAT ABOUT?

My drive home was pretty smooth. Nice weather because I was able to beat any effects of Isabell and I didn't run into any traffic. People going Eastbound into Nashville on 40 were backed up around late afternoon, but not me. I booked it on home!

I really think Ohio and Kentucky need to consider changing their speed limit to 70 mph on the highways.

Well, I'm gonna go play Sim City now.


Wow! Just like that! Instant no waiting posts! I like it!

Fast Post

Wow! Did you see that? I hit post and publish and boom! It was there! Just like that! Watch.....


See? Did you see that? Click..Click...

Lord of the Puter

Well, this is my last time as Lord of the Puter before Sue comes home! Wooohoooo! I miss my friend. I won't be blogging much when she returns. If I'm ever free from the chaos of my life of school and momhood, Sue is on the puter! LOL. It will be even more difficult now since the new puter is hooked up and the new speakers and games have finally arrived. They are all hooked up and ready to go! I hope that it will help cheer Sue up a bit...she had a bit of a downer coming home. I'm sure she'll blog about it. I hope the new toys will make her feel better.....and the warm welcome! Well, I know this is a boring blog but I just had to play one last time before I forfeit my temporary role as Lord of the Puter. I must get back to the books. My head is killing me. My body wants to crash. I have been studying so much and sleeping so little. I don't know how much more of this my 35 year old body can take! Father, give me strength!

Wednesday, September 17, 2003

Last Day Home

Well, this was it, my last day home here in Ohio. I leave early in the am. I will make a short stop in Columbus to visit my sister and her new baby one last time before hitting the road.

I have so much enjoyed spending time with my family. I am so blessed. Dad showed off his new toy, a widescreen tv and entertainment system with surround sound. His glowing over this and I must say I can understand why! had nice conversation with Gram and Mom and Dad over lunch today. My parents and I went to a movie yesterday, and enjoyed that even though it was freeeezzzzzzing in the theatre! It was set for a full crowd I'm sure, but the air duct was blowing very cold air on us. I mean blowing! Like Isabell! Well, maybe not exactly like Isabell, but my hair was blowing and my shirt was ruffling in the brisk moving air. Brrrrrrrrrr We had to move and that helped a little, but it did distract a bit from the flick.

Today I went back to school. I visited my former teaching colleagues at Keystone Middle School where I taught in the early '90's. It was so fun to see everyone again. I spent most of the time with my friend Trakas who is the vocal teacher there. She and I were a great team and really grew close my last couple of years at the school. I miss her. She told me that she and some other people were reminiscing last week about the "good ol' days" and that my name came up! I said "Coooool! I'm remembered when people talk about the good old days!" That is really neat to me!

Then I went to visit my friend Deb. She was very instrumental in my coming to know Christ. She and I are forever bonded because of it too. We talked about how she can't go back to Keystone (we both used to teach there) and is curious as to why I can. I tell her our circumstances are different and I go back just to say "hey". We never talk anything deep, just small talk you know? I told her that the commonality that I once had with those people is gone so our conversation runs dry quickly. With Deb it is different because she is a sister in Christ. We have a commonality there. It is like that with most brothers and sisters in the Lord. It's kind of cool that way how Christians naturally share a bond with other Christians, that bond is God. Jesus Christ. Even if I meet someone new in the grocery store, if I find out that person is a Christian, it seems like an automatic connection...our commonality is defined by eternity.

Deb and I talked a lot and talked a lot about many different things. Sometimes I wish I could record our conversations so I could play them back and remember it all! We went to Bob Evans (I always need to eat there when I come back home because of the dinner rolls. Hot and Steamy, freshly baked yeast rolls! YUM!) and then we headed up to the lake. We walked along the beach and found a pier to sit on and watch the sun set. It was a clear sky, no clouds at all and the sun was a brilliant red ball setting on the lake. It happens quickly and I could actually see the movement of the sun going down (I know its the earth that's moving!). I watched as it inched closer and closer to the lakes surface at the horizon. Then there was just the tippy top of the red ball left, then a sliver, then "poof", it was gone. I actually saw the sun slip beneath the horizon. I hadn't witnessed that before! It was AWESOME! I've seen it set behind trees and hills, but never have I actually seen the sun set and fall away behind the horizon. Wow.

Deb pointed out that the sun we are watching is the very same sun that Abraham, Isaac and Jacob saw. They looked at the very same moon. The very same sun and moon! I think that is cool! Not a different moon, but the very, exact same moon. Not a changed moon, but the exact same moon! Amazing!

Well, I need to get to bed because I am off early in the morning! I'll be blogging from TN next time! wooooohooooooooooo! As nice as it is to come back and visit Ohio, it is just as nice to get back home.

Tuesday, September 16, 2003

Missing My Friend

I miss my friend


I hooked up the DSL and I am having fun on her new puter!!!!!!! Except for the fact that I am swamped with studying for exams! Therefore I don't have much time to play. I can't believe how much time I have wasted over the past 2 plus years studying material that I can't even recall today. Now I am trying to remember dates and events in history. I'll be thankful if I can even remember these things long enough to take the test on Friday! I've only studied half of the material so far and I can't even keep that straight! I have two more exams next week and I haven't even begun studying that material yet! I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE! I WANT A JOB! I WANT TO CLOCK IN, WORK 8 HOURS, GO HOME, AND BE DONE! THEN I WANT TO GET A PAY CHECK AT THE END OF THE WEEK! Life was much easier then. For some reason, Sue thinks my attitude is quite hysterical. When I talked to her on the phone today she was rolling! I HARDLY THINK THIS IS A LAUGHING MATTER! I NEED COUNSELING! I NEED PROSAC! I miss my friend. Am I OK? Maybe all my blog reading prayer warriors might ought to be praying for me. I don't know how you should pray....perhaps for my sanity, perhaps for my strength, perhaps for my mind....I don't know....I trust that the Spirit will guide you.


I made it home. Home to my parents place in Medina. I left my sandals at my sister's, so I will be stopping by there on my way past Columbus Thursday when I head back to TN.

I had a very productive day. I had some quality time with my sister Connie and also some time to talk with my other sister Dawn. It's very nice that they are both living in Columbus now. I miss them. I wish sometimes we didn't live so far apart.

My niece Pilar is soooooooo cute! She just lays around being beautiful all day. What a life. She's only about 6 weeks old so the majority of her day is made up of sleeping, eating, oozing, or as Connie puts it "there's no oozing here...it's explosive!" LOL After one round, Pilar is up for another of sleeping, eating, exploding and then back to sleeping again.

I was facinated watching her. She is learning to control her muscles. Her eyes still can't focus without a lot of effort on her part and though she can see the octopuss dangling above her, she can't always focus and has trouble grasping at it. Most of the time it doesn't really interest her, but now and then she would flail her arms about and hit it. I kept thinking about how with every motion she was "fine tuning" some of her neurons and her senses. Her brain was making new connections as she explored her very limited world at this point.

It kind of represented to me my Christian walk. As a new Christian I was fascinated with all the new possibilities in life that surrounded me. As I have grown, and continue to grow in my faith, I try new things and "fine tune" my faith. With each step I am learning to trust in Him more and my path actually starts to narrow. Just as Pilar will one day be able to reach up and grab that octopuss without even thinking about it, I want to be able to be obediant without even thinking about it. I want my path to be that narrow, so narrow that I don't think about grabbing the stuffed horse, or the star, only the octopuss. I don't want my arms to have to flail about and search for the Light...I see it and I want to touch it. I want to reach out my hand and grab His.

Sunday, September 14, 2003

Another Ponderable

"They will put you out of the synagogue; in fact, a time is coming when anyone who kills you will think he is offering a service to God."

People will kill other people believing that they are doing it to glorify God. Why will people do such things? Jesus answers that question and says "They will do such things because they have not known the Father or me."

Before I left on my road trip this morning, I had read Tony's blog on a British soldier refusing to go to Iraq. As I listened to the Bible, that verse jumped out at my as I thought about the muslims and jihad and stuff.


In John 12 is the story of Lazarus being raised from the dead. When Jesus performed this miracle many Jews came to have faith in Him. This ticked off the Pharisee's and I thought it was funny that the chief priests planned to kill Lazarus. Ummmmmmmm, he had already been dead once! Of course, they probably didn't believe he was really dead.

My Journey

On my way from Jackson, TN to Columbus, OH I had a lot of time in the car. I brought along my bible on CD and listened to the end of Luke's gospel and all of John. Jesus is amazing.

He always had the perfect answer for every challenging question. The woman about to be stoned for adultery. What was Jesus drawing in the sand? John says He was "writing". What was he writing? I want to know! I doodle. Was Jesus doodling in the dirt? And the woman? Did she "go and sin no more"? She had just escaped a death sentence...I want to know what happened after that?

I had lots of different thoughts as I listened. I was thinking about how the blind can't see unless God opens their eyes. God only opens the eyes of those who want to see. Truly want to see. I pondered that awhile. It seems that the Word is right...the blind don't want to see. Those in the darkness wish to remain there because it feels "safe". Hiding in the darkness will not expose their weaknesses, their sin. Stepping into the Light is freeing, but to the blind, it is something they can't even begin to understand. How do you explain color/light to someone blind from birth?

I also considered for awhile the nard that Mary poured on Jesus. His burial perfumes. I wondered about that strong scent still being on him as He prayed in the garden. I wondered if that scent followed him straight to the cross, and into the tomb. As that cross was carried, could people smell his burial perfumes as he was led to the hill? He loved much.

I was so moved by Jesus restoring Peter after the three denials. Jesus asking Peter "Do you love me?" three times and then trusting Peter with such responsibility to share the Good News. I pondered what it must have been like for Peter to realize why Jesus asked him three times? Peter, according to John's description, seemed annoyed that Jesus felt He needed to ask Peter three times. I wonder if the day came where Peter "got it"? A moment that Peter realized the forgiveness and the unconditional love that Jesus demonstrated as He asked? I remember the moment that I realized the forgiveness and unconditional love of Jesus. It's a moment I won't ever forget.


I made it to Columbus and I am currently upstairs at my sister's house. This is so fun! I got to see my cute little niece! She is only a little over a month old. She isn't sleeping through the night yet, so Connie, my sister, went to bed when Pilar did in hopes of getting some shut-eye before the next feeding. They are also on a different time here and it's late for them. They are in bed and I am upstairs in the guest room with the computer that just happens to be here too.

I asked permission to be online and they said "go for it!" I didn't have to be told twice!

Connie and Aaron, her husband, and I sat and chatted awhile. We didn't have a lot of time though. I will probably stay here the majority of tomorrow so I can talk with my other sister Dawn. I don't get a chance to see them often so I will enjoy what little time we have together. I am excited to get home to visit my parent's too!

The drive up was nice, except for the hour I drove through downpour around Louisville. Saw a pretty bad wreck on the way. I had just gotten back on the highway after refueling, and then a police car merged on and took off on ahead. Maybe two or three miles up the road I caught up to him stopped at a wreck. I couldn't tell what actually happened, but I'm sure it was a result of poor visibility in the rainstorm. A pick-up was on it's side off the road on the left and another car was smashed into its underside. There were no ambulances, but I had come up on the accident just behind the first police car to arrive. I was wondering if I may have been in it if I hadn't stopped for gas. Never know.

Heading Home

I'm heading home to Ohio today! YAY! I'm going to get to see my brand new Niece, Pilar, in Columbus and spend time with my sisters and then travel further north to Medina, where I will visit with my parents and see my Grandma too! I'm excited to get back home to see my family!

I hope to get an opportunity to catch up with a friend or two as well.

I hope to post from Ohio to share the ways God blesses me there too! Wooooohoooooooo!

Saturday, September 13, 2003

Where Are the Elfs?

"Where are the elfs?" she asked. I said "elves?" She responded "yeah." I again asked "you are looking for the elves?" implying that I might need a bit more information from her.

She said "yeah, that guy (my associate on duty) said that it'd be in order, but where are the elfs?" I wasn't understanding this girl. I went to the "E" section in rap and asked "is it a rap artist?" and she told me it was. I looked through the "E" section and I said "I am unfamiliar with the elves" She said "ELFS!" She seemed upset that I used the plural pronunciation of elf.

I thought maybe I'm hearing her wrong and asked her if she was looking for the "L's" possibly? She said "ELFS, as in Frayser Boy!".

Hmpf! All this time she wanted the "F" section because she was looking for the artist Frayser Boy.

So, there you have it...ELF = "F". I wonder sometimes how these people communicate enough to open checking accounts, have a respectable job, or simply have an intelligent conversation. It's obvious to me that hooked on phonics did not work for her! LOL

Friday, September 12, 2003

Friday Five - What's in a Name?

1. Is the name you have now the same name that's on your birth certificate? If not, what's changed? It is exactly the same name as on my birth certificate.

2. If you could change your name (first, middle and/or last), what would it be? I can change my name, but I don't want to.

3. Why were you named what you were? (Is there a story behind it? Who specifically was responsible for naming you?) I've been told that before I was seen I was going to be named something else. I was adopted and my parents had the name Sandra picked out for me, but once they saw me they said "she doesn't look like a Sandra" so my name became Susan. I think possibly it came from my Aunt Pat (Patricia Susan)?

4. Are there any names you really hate or love? What are they and why? I dislike names like Destiny, Star, and Tomorrow because the parents are trying to sound "new agey" or cool or something and really they are not.

5. Is the analysis of your name at kabalarians.com accurate? How or how isn't it? Not even close!

"Your first name of Susan has given you a pleasant, easy-going, friendly nature. (That's about the only statement here that is correct!)Personal contacts are important to you. In situations where you are serving others, demonstrating or instructing, you have the patience (NOT!) to go into details (I do like to get all the details that others miss) that someone else may not think to be important. In your association with others, you are often limited to the more mundane happenings and little personal problems that can be so frustrating to those of an active, dynamic nature. You desire to create system and order in your environment but are inclined to become side-tracked and socialize (I do not have a tendency to socialize in favor of getting work done...this is in no way a problem for me!) when you should be working. Your ambitions are not large, as you lack confidence (I do not have a confidence problem, matter of fact, it may be just the opposite.) in your own abilities and would sooner not take a chance. You are often at odds with yourself, knowing what you should do, but finding it hard to find the initiative and will power to do it. Liking to plan and think ahead, you do not act impulsively and do not like to have your plans or routine interfered with. You seek the advice of others when making a decision (I find that others can sometimes complicate things more!) and prefer to work for others, rather than carry the full responsibility yourself. No one can do things better and more time efficient than me! Nope, this is definately NOT an accurate analysis! This name limits imagination and vision."

Thanks to Friday Five for the questions this week!

Thursday, September 11, 2003


If you haven't already voted in the poll in the left menu column, please do so. I'm so curious to learn how it is that people find new blogs. So far it looks like people find new blogs by following links from other blogs. Hmmmmm, the net itself is like a giant webring!

Anyway, choose your top method, or methods, for finding blogs. Check up to four different ways if you want.

Thanks for participating in my non-scientific poll. Remember to comment on this post if you use a method that is not listed. Someone has already commented that they use Blogstreet. I've used that too!

Sue the Webmasterrrrrr!

I have spent much of this day updating the Northbrook Church website. It still has a way to go, but I really enjoy helping out.

Maybe someday I will be able to design a website from scratch!


I'm using my new monitor and notice that colors are different than with my old monitor. At first I thought maybe Windows XP was set different or something, but that is not the case because until I get my new modem, I'm using my old pc with Window ME. I'm also having trouble adjusting to a larger screen. Hmmmmmmmm...once I get up and running though I am sure I will have no trouble adjusting to 512 mb RAM and a huge hard drive and an awesome graphics card and games and wonderful wonderful new stuff to play with! Wooooooohoooooooooo!

Getting a new pc that can't run on my dsl is like buying a brand new sports car and not getting any wheels with it.

It's September 11

This is a reprint of a post from one year ago.

September 11. It used to be just another day. I mean, pick one...does November 9th mean anything to you? What about February 27th? August 18th? September 11th. We all remember what we were doing at the moment we heard the news. It impacted us all that day. That week. Now, two years later...we say life isn't the same. How has your life changed? Honestly. How is your life different today, than it was September 10th, 2001? It seemed time stopped for a moment, in shock. Agony. Fear. We took a breath as we reflected on the "important" things in life. But, how are our lives different today? Maybe some things have changed at the airport, but really, my personal life is basically the same as it was September 10, 2001. I have the same job that I love, I have the same roomate and her kids, I have the same family, I have the same daily triumphs and struggles. I know that a great many families suffered loss that awful day, and their lives are being lived without loved ones, but for most of us I believe not much has changed. I thank God for that. I thank God that I live in a country that allows me to worship Him, and a country that takes its freedom seriously. I thank God that He has taken us from September 11th, 2001 to today. I thank God that He is a Comfort to those who suffer. God has blessed America.

I challenge you to think about how you are living your life today. Is it different than it was September 10th, 2001? If not, why? If so, how? Is that a good or bad thing? My life has not changed in any significant way since that dreadful day, and I know why, because my God hasn't changed. He is the same today as He was yesterday, and as He was September 10, 2001. My foundation is in Christ, the Word, and the Word was, the Word is, and the Word will be. Everyone had their world rocked that day the planes hit, but was your foundation shaken? Did your foundation fail? If it did, you built on the wrong foundation.

"Everything works together for the good of everybody who loves God and is called according to His purpose."

Wednesday, September 10, 2003

The Cows Came Home

The cow boxes arrived. I changed over my DSL modem, plugged her in and...nothing. As I expected. Not compatible.

I wouldn't be that upset except that I had tried to avoid this. I contacted my ISP last week to see about my current modem and how it would work and I was reassured all will be well. It's not well!

Turns out after switching my internal modem and it didn't work, I talked to 2 techs before I got the REAL answer. Your modem is in no way compatible with Windows XP and we no longer carry that type of modem or support it. You will need to upgrade. I figured that was coming. I wasn't happy because I tried all along to be prepared. So, now I need to buy a new modem to run with XP.

I can't stand dial-up and in order to use my new Cowbox computer I need to. So, I'm blogger with my new monitor, new mouse and new keyboard hooked up through my old pc. My new pc sits there looking at me, waiting patiently. I just don't think I could do a whole week of dial up.

Hey, I just noticed some nice new features on Blogger....Upload file...spell check...draft....cool. Wonder when that happened? Must have been all the while I was installing, uninstalling, reinstalling and removing modems.

Black Holes are a B-flat

Revelation 19:6 "Then I heard what sounded like a great multitude, like the roar of rushing waters and like loud peals of thunder, shouting: 'Hallelujah! For our Lord God Almighty reigns."

At rehearsal last night the professor told us something very interesting. He told us that he heard about a scientific discovery that said that black holes are pitched at a B-flat. As trumpet players we all reveled in that for awhile. LOL (trumpets, at least the widely used trumpet, are pitched in Bb)

I decided to investigate further and found information in an article called "Black Hole Strikes Deepest Musical Note Ever Heard". In that article I learned that Black Holes can produce many different notes, depending on the gases that are swirling all about. I also learned that the earth hums as well.

This all got me pondering about that half-hour of silence in heaven that is written about in Revelation 8:1 "When he opened the seventh seal, there was silence in heaven for about half an hour." I wonder if even the the black holes will be silent.

Obviously humans can not hear black holes because their pitch is 57 octaves below our hearing range. Just imagine all of the sound out there that we can't hear. Wow. It's amazing! I started thinking about all that God does hear! It bloggles the mind!

Then I thought about that "rushing" sound spoken of in Revelation 19:6 and imagined all that silence suddenly interrupted by all the sound in the heavens and earth returning. I wondered if when we meet God face to face, if we too, will hear the hum of the universe. If that "rush" is an extra-sensory perception that we will suddenly gain. What a ponderable.

Cow Box Tracking Continued

Two of the three boxes are "OUT FOR DELIVERY!" Woooohoooooooooo!!! Now I'm just waiting for that little brown truck to pull up in the drive!

The bad news...apparantly only 2 of the 3 boxes will be arriving. I think it is the keyboard that is lagging behind. :-( I may have to use my current one for a day or two. Drat!

Tuesday, September 09, 2003

Anniversary Blog

So here's a few blogs that have special status. They have earned special status for a few different kind of reasons...but the main one is I just liked 'em!

  • Worship This is Sue's first blog ever!

  • Here's Katie's first one, and without a title.

  • Defleshedfetus signed my slambook.

  • Katie blogs about how Christians should consider others when blogging

  • Sue's thoughts on Tuck Everlasting and living forever.

  • When a stranger asked me for money, I got The Blessing.

  • It's Much Better With All the Swearing In It was a blog about a Sunday School teacher buying an Eminem CD from me.

  • Tolerance, are Christians intolerant?

  • Katie shares her feelings about being a Christian in a secular college

  • World Peace and how to attain it...by Katie.

  • Eminem and Sunday School - seems to be a trend...

  • File Sharing, from the perspective of a music retailer.

  • Being a Christian, Being a Witness

  • Night of the Twisters - Tornado's Hit Jackson, TN

  • What Makes a Good Blog?

  • Katie's review of Bruce Almighty.

  • What chair do you sit in? Are you Committed? Condemned? or do you Compromise?

  • Katie, stirring up controversy again!

  • Katie has a nightmare.

  • It was difficult to whittle a year's worth of blogs down to just a few to list as representative.

    In our blogging Katie and I hope to encourage and edify. We simply share life. Some days are good, some not so good. We blog about things that make us laugh, or about things that are very serious. Sometimes the thoughts we share stir up debate, other times we hope what we share puts a smile on your face. So, thanks for reading Sisters' Weblog: It Bloggles the Mind!

    Cow Box Tracking

    The cow boxes are scheduled to arrive tomorrow...YAY! They are in Roanoke, VA! I CAN'T WAIT! I just hope my modem switch goes smoothly!

    Monday, September 08, 2003

    Happy Blogday

    September 9, 2002 was the launch of the Sisters' Weblog. It Bloggles the Mind that we actually have readers!

    Today we celebrate our one year blogday. We thought as a special treat it might be interesting for our readers to hear what we sound like. So below is a link to a sound file on which you can hear us celebrating our 1st blogday.

    The first voice you will hear is Sue, and you will then hear Katie clearly exclaim "We're recording!" while I am laughing hysterically and announce "we are so funny!" (Sometimes you just have to be here you know!)

    Happy Blogday!

    Tomorrow I hope to post links to some memorable entries from this first year of blogging.

    Evangelism - Invite Someone to Church

    Inviting someone to church is easy. Here's what happened at dinner tonight.

    The waitress asked if we needed anything else. Katie said "yes! DRUGS!" and the waitress gasped and reacted with body language that said "okkaaaaaay? What's wrong with these people?". I quickly pointed out that Katie has migraine and that's what she was meaning by her somewhat "humorous" response. LOL

    The waitress breathed a sigh of relief and commented that she too had a migraine over the weekend. Katie said "I was down all day yesterday and I hated it because I hate missing church. I love church!"

    The waitress replied "I miss church too. I need to find one. I haven't been to church in forever".

    "Well, try ours!"

    So we told her where it was and why we love it so much. She was obviously turned off by past experiences because she saw the "christians" at church on Sunday and in the bars on Saturday. (I was wondering why she saw them at the bars? and at church? but I didn't ask! LOL)

    I said "Our church holds people accountable. It's not easy, but it's one of the reasons I love my church. It tackles the hard things."

    I don't know if we will ever see her again, or if she actually will visit Northbrook, but she was invited and it wasn't "pushy" at all. It was simply controlling the conversation.

    Katie always says "people always talk about their love life. When people are in love, that's what they talk about! That's why it's so easy for me to talk about God. I'm in love with Jesus!"

    Bad Choices, Where Do They Start?

    My SaLT group started up again last night. We have been on "break" throughout August, which I think is a good thing. It gives me time to focus on some other things, and then when we gather together, everything starts fresh and new.

    Our new study is "How to Make Choices You Won't Regret" by Kay Arthur and David and BJ Lawson.

    We don't have our books in yet, but our leader Robin does, so he got us started. Interesting start too...as I've come to expect from this group. One of the women, who also shares leading responsibilities said "The books haven't come in yet, so what do you want to do tonight?"

    I was ready to dig in, so I was disappointed about the prospect of not starting yet. Others said, we can do this or we can do that. One woman said "Robin has the book, he's leading. We can do this!" Tommye said "We can play cards. We have cards!". We all sat somewhat confused and trying to decide what we should do.

    That was the start of study. Then we were asked how it was we went about deciding what to do. LOL Some of us wanted to forge ahead. Others wanted to step back and think about it and possibly come up with a Plan B. An interesting little exercise!

    Well, we studied 2 Samuel 11:1-5. This is the David and Bathsheba story.

    What did we discuss? How many "events" occurred before the actual adultery. We looked at the different choices David made that led to his indiscretion. It was interesting to see how a seemingly insignificant decision eventually led to consequences that effected or affected (even with Jennifer's mini lesson on affect and effect, nouns and verbs, I still don't get it! LOL) generations and generations of descendants. Wow.

    First thing we noticed is that David did not go with the kings off to war as Kings did each spring. He sent Joab instead, along with his entire army. Doesn't seem like a big deal, but we pondered for awhile why it was that David didn't go. I said that it was possible that he got complacent. David was a warrior king. He was used to going off to war and killing many many men. His armies won battle after battle. Successes followed him everywhere. In the chapter before he had killed 700 charioteers and forty-thousand foot soldiers, and even their commander. Piece of cake! So spring came around. David may have been tired out and figured his army could handle things without him. But, this decision to stay home and send his army left him home in Jerusalem, and the other men gone from the city.

    David got out of bed one night and ventured out onto the roof. We wondered what might be keeping him up? Who knows...it's so easy to read more into things and when studying the bible it is important to not make something mean something that the writers didn't intend to mean. "A verse can't mean what it never meant." But, still, his decision to get out of bed and go to the roof led him to be in an area where he could see a beautiful woman bathing. This is where his decisions really start getting bad. David sends someone to find out about her.

    Things kept getting worse from there and David ended up feeling the consequences of his poor decisions for the remainder of his life.

    I thought it was interesting how all this started when the king decided not to go off to war.

    It made me think about the "simple" decisions I make daily. I don't feel like going to church today, so I'm not going. I think I will call off from work, I have a new computer that I want to play with. I really want an X-Box so I'll go buy one now.

    Every single decision I make will eventually lead to another decision. It's like a chess game. It's choosing which strategy to use. In a book I am reading, the author shares an analogy about how he played against a chess champion once. It didn't matter what kind of move he made, the champion's move always countered it and regained all control. The champion always had a superior strategy and thus control of the game. The outcome was determined by the champion by his every move, he was the superior chess player, the strategist. The author then related it to the way God is. No matter what decisions we make, God is able to make that "move" work in his "strategy" or his design. God controls the outcome no matter how far we may move off course.

    He did it with David. He did it with Peter. He did it with Paul. He did it with Moses. He did it with Jacob. He did it with me. He still does!

    Some decisions are easy, but those should be taken seriously as well as any really big life changing decision. David didn't go off to war one Spring, and that put a whole course of events into motion. I pray that I always seek God and let Him light my way. I pray that my heart be repentive, and that when I stray, He will welcome me back as the prodigal daughter, with His arms open, a smile on His face, and joy in His heart.


    WAYFM.COM finally has a nice new player! Wooohoooo! Better sounding and none of those nasty pop-ups! Check it out if you like CCM!

    Tracking My Cow Boxes

    The cows are in Hampton, VA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    **UPDATE** (09/08/03 8:03pm) At least one box has gotten to Richmond, VA. Hmmmmm? Why not the other boxes? Hmmmmmmm... Should I be concerned that I won't get all my boxes at the same time? That would be a bummer!

    My Cow Box Computer

    I just received an email that told me my cow box computer was on it's way! Woooohoooooo! or maybe it should be MOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO! I'm hoping it will arrive so I will have time to set it up before I leave for Ohio on my vacation next week. Then again, who wants to leave on vacation after gettting a new computer? NOT FAIR NOT FAIR, Katie is gonna get to play with it first!

    How Do You Find New Blogs to Read?

    I use a few different methods to go about finding new blogs to read. I started wondering how other blog readers find their favorite blogs.

    I have listed my blog at various "portals" to help make it "findable", but I have discovered that only a few portals are worth having it listed in. From my sitemeter I see that most people find my blog via search engine (Google, MSN, AOL)...although, they aren't necessarily searching for a blog. (sometimes I wonder what exactly they are searching for...or why?????)

    Many of the blogs I read I have found through Blog4God or by following links from the blogs I frequent. I also get a lot of use out of Geoblog and other larger portals like Blogarama and Blogwise.

    I'm interested to know how you find the blogs you read. I've listed several ways that I have used to find blogs below and I'm asking you to check the ones you use. I'm curious to find out what ways are most frequently used. You can choose multiple answers, but in order for the poll to be most useful, I'm asking you to check your top three or four choices.

    Thanks for your participation!

    Oh...and if you have any suggestions about some new ways to find blogs, please put them in the comments! :-)

    How do you find new blogs to read?
    Links from other blogs
    Google it!
    Ageless Project
    Globe of Blogs

    View the results
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    Saturday, September 06, 2003

    Does Your Church Have a Marching Band?

    Dave's does! From his recent post...

    "The past couple of days have been cool, though. I'm working with our church's marching band, and we had band camp this weekend. Yes, I said marching band. I know. I thought it was crazy too, "

    Imagine it...bass drums, tubas and high steppin' evangelism! I love it! Read his post here.

    ieSpell - Spell Checker add-on for Internet Explorer

    ieSpell - Spell Checker add-on for Internet Explorer is a great new tool that I have already found to be very useful. Thanks goes to Christopher for posting the link at his blog What in Tarnation!

    The Retreat

    I didn't get to share my testimony at the retreat. Scheduling or something changed...maybe even it was forgotten that I was asked, but that is okay because God chose to use the testimonies of others this weekend. He'll use me another day and I will be just as amazed!

    It was an awesome weekend of worship, learning, fun and fellowship among my sisters in Christ. I made new friends and learned new truths about my Father. Some truths I already knew, but through the experiences of others and what they had to share about God, those truths were affirmed once again.

    God is faithful and He alone can be trusted. We will fail. Our friends, spouses and children will fail. God will never fail. Never.

    God will forgive. God is merciful. God loves unconditionally.

    This morning we had a "break" from the norm. The 39 women who made it to the retreat broke into 4 groups. Each group then went to a certain "station". We participated in a "low ropes course":

  • Bridge is Out - The entire team must devise a way to get from one platform, about 2 feet off the ground, to another platform located about 15 feet away using just two boards neither of which is long enough to bridge the span alone.

  • Wobble Wire - Two steel cables are attached to one pole, and then stretched to other poles about 15 feet apart. Each cable goes to a separate pole creating an open triangle. The object is for 2 people to make it from the starting pole (where the cables are fairly close together) to the other poles. With each step toward the goal the participants are pulling farther from each other. The trick is to balance and "push" against the other person and make it to the end without falling off.

  • Trust Fall - Participants fall backward into the arms of "trusted" individuals off of a platform approximately four feet off the ground.

  • Spider Web - an elaborate web of ropes is suspended in the air with about 15 "holes" through which another rope is threaded. The trick is to not allow the rope being threaded to come into contact with the web or the ground.

  • The ropes course is designed to foster teamwork and requires critical thinking and problem solving. Spiritual truths could also be applied.

    The Bridge exercises required us to think about how to get across a lake filled with hungry piranhas by using two boards, each of which was not long enough to span the distance between the tiny islands. It was another exercises in trust and required a lot of problem solving. We lost four women to the piranhas, including one of our pastor's wives. Oops. We learned who we couldn't trust!

    I tried very hard on the wobble wire and Carol and I made it about 2/3rds of the way through that. It was not easy to do! You definitely need to trust your partner enough to be able to lean against them, and the only contact you have with them is the palm of your hands. When I got off the wobble wire my legs felt like I was still on it even though I was on solid ground! Reminded me to make sure my faith was planted firmly on a strong foundation, on Christ, or it is sure to wobble!

    The Trust Fall was interesting. We had so many pregnant women along that they couldn't really participate in this one. We borrowed from other groups and what was interesting to me in this one was how nervous I was as the "catcher". I was part of the team catching those courageous enough to trust us to catch them. There was a little boy there who went first to demonstrate and when I felt how hard he hit us when he fell, I was actually a bit afraid when the first adult fell. I thought about how my little role in the catching, while seemingly small, it was a very significant link in the process. The body of Christ is similar. Sometimes we might see our part as small and insignificant, but if you aren't contributing the gifts God gave you, you aren't being obedient and in essence you are weakening the entire body. If I had dropped my arms at the last minute it would be quite possible that the others would not have the strength to hold on, and the team member falling would fall to the ground. It is our responsibility in the body of Christ to do our part. God gave us our gifts to edify the Body and hold each other up.

    The web was the most enlightening obstacle of all, at least for me. It was very difficult to thread one rope through the web and not allow it to touch. We were able to feed it through one hole, turn and thread it through another, but the further we got it through, the more places it became possible for it to touch. One person could not do this because you can't keep track of all the possible places the rope could touch. Anytime it did, we had to be honest enough to admit it, pull the rope out, and begin again.

    At one point the rope was threaded a fairly decent amount and it touched. We Christians, of course (*tongue in cheek), were honest enough to point out the "error" and start again. We had to persevere. What does perseverance lead to? Patience! Obviously NOT my kind of game! LOL

    We started again and it "touched". Again. "Touched!". Again...touched! (we were really bad at this one! LOL)

    We kept starting over and trying again. The rope again got to a certain point and it touched. "TOUCHED!" we'd say and then the instructor on site said "forgiven, continue toward the goal". The rope continued being threaded and again it would brush up against the web somewhere. "Touched!" "Forgiven" said the instructor.

    Oh how awesome God is. Touched = sin. Does He require us to start over every time we sin? He says "Go and sin no more". We try again. We fail. He says "forgiven" and wipes that transgression from His "selective" memory. We don't necessarily start over, way back at the beginning, because often times we can't. That is something in the past. God forgives and helps us move on from right where we are. He finds us where we are and if we let Him, He will carry us on through.

    Christians fail in their walks almost daily. God forgives and urges toward the goal. Reach for the prize! The process is called sanctification and I learned a lot from a bunch of wires and ropes today. I can't wait until next year!

    Friday, September 05, 2003


    YAY! Tonight is my first night away from work, home and other stuff to simply focus on God things in over a year! I need this and I have been looking very forward to this retreat.

    Forty-one women from church are going and that's a good number considering we probably have maybe one hundred or so adult women members/regular attenders at the church. That's a good participation percentage, so it's nice to see.

    I was asked to share my testimony with the group this weekend. When Ann, the Ministry to Women leader at our church, asked me to share, I told her I had already shared once. She didn't remember hearing my story about two years ago when I talked to the entire church. I asked her what she would like me to talk about and she said "you're deliverance from prostitution and drug addiction" and we both laughed because that is NOT my story by far! LOL I said "my testimony is boring" and she said she wants to hear it! So.....

    As I was preparing it once again for a public forum, a whole new approach came to me. God reminded me that even my "own" testimony is not about me. It is not about me at all. My life is not what is so exciting...my life is boring, my testimony is boring...but it is what God did that is exciting! It is God that makes my testimony exciting! It is God that makes your testimony exciting! So, my "theme" is: It is God that makes a testimony exciting!

    So, instead of saying the "Once I was lost, now I am found" testimony, I am going to share the details of how God revealed himself. How for years beforehand He used people in my life to plant seeds. I will share how I was locked out of my house which led to my first read through of the gospel of John. I will share about the phone call I made to church only to hang up with someone answered, but then met up with the person I couldn't bring myself to talk to at lunch later that day. I will share the small miracles and share how exciting it is when God calls one to Himself. I will not have enough time to share what He has done in my life since that time, but maybe that will be for another retreat on another day.

    I'm so excited to go hear what God is doing in the lives of the other women! I can't wait to get there. There will most likely be lots of laughing and possibly some tears. There will be new bonds of friendship weaved and possibly even new revelations about our heavenly Father. I am anticipating that God will do some awesome things this weekend and I look forward to sharing all about it later! Woooooohoooooo!

    Thursday, September 04, 2003

    My New Computer...The Specs!

    Ohhhhhhhhhhh! I can't wait until the baby arrives!

    Intel Pentium 4 Processor 2.4GHz with Hyper-Threading Technology and 800MHz FSB

    Intel 865 chipset

    512MB 333MHz DDR SDRAM

    Hard Drive: 160GB serial ATA hard drive w/ 8MB performance enhancing

    DVD-R/-RW/CD-RW Recorder

    Video: 128MB NVIDIA GeForce FX 5200G with TV out graphics accelerator

    It's obscene isn't it!?! Bring it on!!!!!!!! Wooooooohoooooooooo!


    I am about to retire this computer of mine. Last night I bought a new Gateway! YAY! I can't wait for it to arrive! It will be so exciting! It's gonna have speed! It's gonna have room! It's gonna have this girl smiling for a long time! (I hope!) It's not going to crash everytime I open the Blogthis! window. AAAAAAHHHHHHHH! I hear angels singing.

    Tuesday, September 02, 2003

    Oh Jesus Come!

    I was cleaning up the supper dishes when I over heard a report on Inside Edition. It was an update on the man who lost his family in the flash flooding going on in Kentucky. I have been praying for God's mercy for that precious man who lost such a beautiful wife and four children. This man's life has touched my heart beyond words. I can't stop thinking about him. My heart grieves for him so deeply. Yet his faith is secure. Yesterday his words were, "God is God and I'm not.." I felt such hope.....until........

    The next topic of discussion..... "THE KISS"........ there are no words. If the kiss wasn't enough to make this part of creation groan for Jesus' return, the rest of the broadcast was. The reporter actually praised both Britney Spears and Madonna for their sexuality and approved of Britney's official "stepping out" from the teen scene into sexy womanhood. She said that she expected to see more of this sex appeal from both of these women. That may be the way they believe that a girl becomes a woman but the way I see it......this only proves at how much growing up they still have left to do. Girls like Britney Spears and Madonna just make the female race look like trash. Anybody can turn on sex appeal. And you don't have to have a perfect body to do it. If these girls want to become women then maybe they should concentrate more on building and displaying good character, nobility, class, dignity, self respect, and respect for others. When I start seeing those qualities in Britney Spears, then, maybe I will believe that she has become a woman.

    Sex........something beautiful that is a gift from God....prostituted, polluted, abused, ruined. Sex was once a way to bring forth life and beauty. It was something that made a marriage beautiful and brought a husband and wife together. These days it's more of a husband and husband or wife and wife....or boyfriend and girlfriend......heck why commit to marriage? And, if we don't want a baby and we end up pregnant by accident.......no problem.......we can have an abortion! As time goes on it seems that sex is used less and less for good and more and more for evil. It's a way to make money, to gain popularity, to manipulate, to abuse, to destroy lives. It's girls like Britney Spears and Madonna that paint a picture of women as nothing more than objects of lust to be owned and controlled by perverts and sickos. It is girls like this who turn the beauty of sex into nothing more than sickening propaganda. The worst part of it is......it's what the people want!

    Oh Jesus Come!

    The Dream

    I had a dream the other night. It was no ordinary dream. None of my dreams are though. But this one was especially different. Quite disturbing to say the least. It disturbed me to the point that I got up at 3:30 a.m. and pondered emailing a very special mentor to get her insight. I knew that I had to write it down so that I wouldn't forget it. I tried to tell Sue about it but it was useless since she was in her own dream world and unwilling to leave. So, I booted up and began to write. Here is a portion of the email I sent:

    "The reason I feel so disturbed by this dream is because of its deep spiritual nature and how it all ties into my life, especially since I have to share my testimony publicly for the first time on Thursday with WRAP (a support group for women who have been victims of domestic violence). Of course, as all of my dreams are, it's a bit crazy and doesn't make sense at times. However, that's the strange part of it.....the weird stuff actually does seem to make some sort of sense to me in a way but most of it is just weird. Anyhow... It's not often that a dream has an impact on me like this but this one really has chill bumps going on. I want to write it down before I forget.

    From what I can recall, I was driving down the road and Robin (a previous mentor relationship that fell through) was in the car with me. I was taking her home from something. I think Stephanie (my old best friend) was with her. A car pulled up beside us as we approached Robin's house and it was filled with children. At some point, I think Robin brought up the topic of abuse and got me discussing it with the children and what abuse is and how to recognize and avoid it etc... I think she had falsly told me that the children were abused by their father just to see what kind of reaction she would get. She kept asking me questions and giving me situations and kept egging me on to tell the kids how to deal with those situations. I spoke the truth from what my Christian and secular counselors have told me. Then she told the woman in the car she could leave. Robin began laughing as we entered her home. Stephanie seemed to be unaware as to why. So, Robin quite proudly pulled a tape recorder from under her shirt and told me that she got it all on tape and she was going to prove that I was crazy. She told me that she was going to play the tape to my counselors. Of course I wasn't concerned about the tape. I was just hurt that she did this. I thought she just wanted to be with me. I was so broken hearted while she pranced and danced. As she made some kind of transfer to a print out, I asked for a copy for myself to listen to and she said, "Suuuuuure, I'll be glad to make you one!" and she did.

    Then it was as if her home was filled with all the old church people and it became some type of courtroom where I was basically being condemned. Then the scene changed again to a place where it was like a Mary Kay type party and they wanted to humiliate me......the church ladies. They tried to get me to sit where there was no seat but I sat where I wanted to. Then they threw flour at me as a joke. So I tried to beat them to the punchline the next time by throwing the next batch at myself before they had a chance. Then I said better yet, let me throw it at you! Well, at first the lady got mad, but then I laughed and threw some cake at another lady and she also laughed and it turned into this huge food fight and we had a blast and it was as if we were all reconciled when it was over. I even woke myself up laughing.

    Then there was a weird snippet of another dream that I had when I fell back asleep. I don't remember it well but it involved Northbrook and the youth and this huge mansion with a sick old lady who kept throwing up........Oh we were watching a movie with the youth at some ladies' house. It was a weird movie about people being splatted on the street but they weren't real people. They were dummies stuffed with milk. Some guys were playing a practical joke...okay so that had nothing to do with anything (or maybe it does) Anyhow, after the movie was over, I couldn't find my way out of the house, it was like a big maze but then it tied into my previous dream........

    I found Sue and decided to let her hear the tape that Robin made but instead of hearing it, all of a sudden, we were back at the scene reliving the experience but watching it instead like in "The Christmas Carol" Okay, I'm starting to get creeped out. We were in Robin's house and all of a sudden we were really in her house and she knew somebody was there so we were trying to hide but she caught us. Sue tried to leave but I said "NO"! This time In the dream, Robin was pregnant. I told Sue that she had a demon in her and I had to get it out. I am getting chill bumps. It's dark and cool in here and I'm the only one up....

    Sue was walking around praying out any evil as I quietly followed Robin praying for the demon to leave her. She began to notice my presence so I felt it necessary to lay my hands on her head from behind. At that point she turned around and looked at me.......ohhhhhhhh the chills are going up and down my body as I recall this! I laid my left hand on her very pregnant abdomen and my right hand on the back of her head still trying to cast out the demon and it wasn't working. Robin said nothing. I turned her head to make her look me in the eyes and finally, I said in a strong, demanding voice...."In the name of Jesus......" and it was as If I heard her thoughts from somewhere deep inside tell me to say "plea the blood"..........

    I struggled so hard because I couldn't talk but I did it......I barely got the words to form but I managed to say, "By the blood of Jesus I command you to flee!"

    This is the scary part!!!!!!!! Ohhhhh it's like Nightmare on Elm Street!!!!!!! (What is up with that Movie? I don't even watch that stuff!)

    Her face turned red, her eyes became beady and rolled in the back of her head, her hair turned white and her face looked old and she began to look like a goat in the face. That was the point when I became so frightened that I woke up. Now I am so creeped out that I don't think I can go back to sleep.

    So, that's the dream. There's more to the story. It seems God answered prayer through the dream. Although it all seems crazy and doesn't make sense, when held against the backdrop of my life.......it makes perfect sense. My friend to whom I sent the email is a very wise woman. I didn't know it but, God had been preparing her to receive that email and it didn't come as a surprise. She was ready and blessed me to the bottom of my soul with her reply. I never expected God to answer me that way but isn't it just like God to surprise us when we least expect it where we least expect it, how we least expect it.......just because we pray..... expecting? Thursday night I will be speaking to a group of very broken, fragile women. I want to display God's love and grace to them the way it has been so present in my life. Pray for me.

    Psalm 5:3

    "In the morning, O LORD , you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation."

    Monday, September 01, 2003

    Bloggers' Congress

    Go have a voice in the Bloggers' Congress. I found the link via Tony.

    Represent your state and have a part in the future of Blogging. Be a particitator instead of a spectator!

    I have no clue what the Blogger's Congress hopes to accomplish, but it may prove to be fun and entertaining if nothing else.

    Mission Accomplished

    When I first met Katie I would share with her a lot of the music I heard on Way FM and that I had in my own personal Christian music collection. Much of the stuff she never heard of.

    She would then share what Christian music she listened to. Her favorites included Sandi Patty and some other chick named Becky Sites. I was unfamiliar with Sandi Patty so I went and bought "Artistry of My Soul" and listened to it. It's not that bad if you like that stuff, by to my ears...well, I HAVE A NEED TO ROCK! I couldn't deal. I began sending some "mix tapes" to Katie through the mail to open her eyes to the wealth of CCM and rock out there.

    Resistance is futile.

    Today I realize that my efforts have paid off. Three years ago she would be dancing and singing to Sandi Patty, today she is rocking out to Benjamin Gate! YES! Best part is she is LOVING IT!

    Mission accomplished.