"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding...." (Prov. 3:5)
SCHOOL'S OUT FOR THE SUMMER! WOOOHOOOO!!!!! Now maybe I can blog more! Today, I was wondering what to blog about. I couldn't come up with anything. Earlier, I got a phone call from my daughter who spent the night with a new friend. They are going to a birthday party together today and Tiff needed some money to get a present. I had already spent 2 hours talking with Tiff's friend's mom last night when dropping Tiff off. What a wonderful lady she is! She told me this awesome Cinderella story about how she and her husband came together. I didn't get alot of details because both of us are talkers and we have a tendency to go off on a tangent that leads someplace else so we never really finished any particular subject. That's okay though because I know at some point we will go off on a tangent from another discussion that will finish the ones that were unfinished in that discussion. Does that make any sense? LOL I LOVE IT! Anyhow, today, I met this lady's husband. He is a professor at the college I attend. I had seen him before but, I don't think we ever spoke. What a charming person he is! Wow! I feel so optomistic about life while talking to them. They both have children from previous marriages and the ages of their children are from 30 down to age 4 or 5! They are the most fascinating people! I hated leaving both times I have been over there. I would love to have an entire day just to sit and chat with this awesome couple.
He (the husband) had such awesome uplifting, encouraging words to say. One thing he said that really made an impact was right after I told him that I really messed my life up in the past and have been known to be a poor judge of character. He said that one thing he says often and lives by is that it's not important who you were (for better or worse). It's who you are now and where you are going that counts. He used the example of a man who was a football star in highschool and brags about it........has been replaced by another star now. What is important is that that man is doing something good with his life today. It makes sense. The past really DOESN'T matter! The only time I should look to the past is when I want to learn from the mistakes I made and know what NOT to do today.
I mentioned to this couple that since I had been a poor judge of character in the past I have learned not to trust in my own decisions, but to let God guide me in my decisions today and every day. He told me that I needed to surround myself with new people and meet my friends at church (in opposition to night clubs and bars) and perhaps attend a symphony. It was like a confirmation that I am making good choices these days. (To God be the glory!) God has given me an awesome church family full of healthy people ( and many of them enjoy symphonies). I haven't had the opportunity to attend a symphony but it has been a desire in my heart for a very long time! So, I have a short term goal to attend the symphony before the end of this year. Well, my first goal is to get some form of income generating. My long term goals.......stability for my family, education, career, writing a book....??? I have many. I am so happy simply because I have goals....reachable goals that I know, with God's help, I can achieve.
I struggle with forgiving myself for the ways I messed up my life. I find that I repeatedly have to forgive myself. I still suffer the consequences of my poor choices. But, the day is coming when those consequences will have no affect on me anymore. With God's help, I will have rebuilt my life and reached beyond the consequences of my past. I think the most important thing to do every day is to pray for God's guidance and ask daily for His wisdom and discernment in all my choices. It's important to involve God in everything I do every day. I don't think it is a funny coincidence that I have met this family. (Any more than meeting Sue was a coincidence). I am so blessed! I believe with all my heart that God is doing another awesome work in my life and that these people are tools that He will use to mold me and who knows? Maybe He will even use me in their life somehow.
When visiting with this couple, I mentioned the fact that I want to write a book at some point in my life...one that will be a helpful tool that will allow me to contribute to society after I am gone. I don't think the husband realized that I heard him when he said, "Just one?" (That's a blog for another day).
Today, I rejoice that God has opened the door to yet another adventure in my life. I don't think these people realize the impact they made on my life today. Even if I never see them again, I will ponder our conversation and the words we shared will make a difference in the rest of my life. It's not like the words they said were new news to me. It's not like I haven't heard anything like this before.......it's the timing, the presentation, and the heart of the person behind the words that make a difference. It served as a reminder and confimation to things already pondered and perhaps even discussed. I have to remember to trust Him. It also has made such an impact because of where God has me in life today. I can trust Him in my personal struggles. He is with me! He always has been, and always will be.......even to the ends of the earth!
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