What If?

Sue and I went to "framily" counseling last week. We have had some issues....major issues...to deal with in the household these days. I will save the details because Sue mentioned blogging about it.



We met with our "counselor" who is actually a very special friend of mine and he happens to be a professional family/marriage counselor. He and his wife, along with Sue and her family, adopted me and my children several years ago when my marriage fell apart. Our counselor friend (we'll call him Bob) talked to us about our responsibilities and the roles we play in the house. He is very wise. One thing he said that has made a major impact on me, was that Sue was bridging a gap that exists in the lives of most single (abandoned usually) moms everywhere. In the lives of me and my children, Sue is the bridge over poverty that exists for most other divorced/single moms and their children. (I hope I worded that right.)



There is never a moment in a day that goes by that I don't realize how blessed I am to have Sue as well as the network of support that God has given me through Sue's family and my church family. They have made it possible for me to live better than I have ever lived in my life. I am free from dysfunctional living, and I have everything I need and more. Next month, I will be getting my associate's degree!!!!!!! This would not have been a possiblility if God hadn't given me the network of support that I have...especially in Sue.



During our time of discussion over lunch at Perkin's... Bob told us a story about an abused girl who was taken in by a family. This brought much dysfunction and instability into the lives of the family. There was so much of the girls life that rolled over into theirs and they had to pick up responsibilities neglected by her parents. They also had a very troubled teen on their hands. He mentioned that there were times he could have just said "No way. This is where I draw the line! I quit!" and walked away...or could he? No. There was too much love and too much of an investment in the relationship they had with this girl. So, they adopted her...along with all of her problems. This was a covenant commitment they made and they knew it would be life long...but they did it anyways. Bob told Sue that she has a radical covenant relationship with me and my children. Even though she could quit at any time and say, "that's where I draw the line...no more!" But they agreed that she couldn't do that. She is in this for the long haul...we are in it together. It's because of the covenant relationship that we have with God and eachother. So, there is no line...and this could very well be a commitment as long a my children are at home...or even after that. Who knows? Only God knows where that line is. Until then...we are all in this together.



In my time spent volunteering with the local center for abused women, I have seen many cases of women going back to abusive men because they can't survive financially. Or, these women end up in new abusive relationships. They don't have the support system that God has blessed me with. My heart hurts for them because I don't know the answer. I don't know what I would have done without Sue, My counselor and his family, Sue's family and my church. I know I would'nt have been able to make it on my own...at least not like I have. Would I have gone back? Would I have ever learned about functional living? I never had any examples in my life before now. I only had dysfunction in all directions. Would I have married another abuser? Would I have ended up in jail or dead? Praise God I will never know!!!!!!!!! Praise the God who provides my every need! Praise God for Sue, her parents, my church, mentors, and "Bob" and his family! Praise God for mentors for me and my children!



I can't help but wonder...what if the others had a support system like me? Why can't they? There has to be a way to unite other divorced and single mothers with devoted Christians who can "adopt" them into their lives and give them the support system they need to grow strong and healthy! What if churches came together and formed a ministry to match these needy families with families who could covenant to do everything they can to bring these families out of the downward spiral and lift them up to Christ? What if these families could be matched up to build a bridges over a life of poverty and dispair that will otherwise plague the lives of most of these mothers and their children? What if? Why not?



The Framily Support Network......hmmmm sounds like a great ministry opportunity to me.