Monday, June 14, 2004

Picking Up Pieces

I haven't posted in awhile so I thought I'd update on the heartbreak situation. After a couple of weeks of mourning, I realized that Adam had one of Sue's cd's. So, I had to make arrangements to get it back. I was going to do it through the mutual friends who introduced us, but then I thought, "I'm a grown up. I can handle this." So, I arranged to meet with him. We talked on the phone for awhile and then talked for about a half hour when we met. We agreed to keep in touch and he told me I could keep a couple of his books a bit longer until I finished reading them. So, I thought it went very well and that it was a good thing that we could still be friends.

Over the two weeks that have passed since then, we have exchanged a few emails but as each email comes, he seems to show less and less interest in anything I have to say. This leaves me to conclude that his attitude towards our friendship has become that of which it was toward our dating relationship. As a result my heart is getting broken twice by the same person. I may be reading more into it than I think but somehow, I think I am right on target. I think I am finally arriving to the point of being ready to walk away from all of this.

My church SaLT group prayed with me last night and offered me much concern and comfort. I am so blessed with so much love from so many people. Why do I suddenly feel such a need for male counterpart in life??? Because I am created that way. (Get a copy of David Gushee's book, "Getting Marriage Right" and you will understand where I am coming from) However, my desire for a Godly husband (helpmeet) is not going to become the focus of my life from this point on if I can help it. Sure, Adam and I "seemed" to be a match made in heaven. But, were we? Apparently, we do have some MAJOR issues that challenge that idea. Then again, everybody keeps telling me that the timing is just not right...whatever.

I believe God is answering the prayers of His saints as they help me pick up the pieces of my heart and lay them at the feet of Jesus for complete restoration. I know healing is taking place and soon I will be restored...even better off than I was before (better, stronger...faster?...maybe not faster but definately better and stronger..and perhaps even a little wiser).

I feel stronger today and a bit more confident that I am healing. It didn't start out that way this morning but after "Henry the Egg", it's kinda hard to feel gloomy!!!!

I love my best friend. I do know without a shadow of a doubt, that OUR coming together (as different as we are) was definately God's plan for both of us!

Where would I be otherwise??? I have so many things to be joyous about. I have so many blessings to celebrate. Funny how a broken heart can overshadow all the good that surrounds a person. I can't wait to be completely restored!!!


You are my strength, my help in this time of trouble. In my weakness... you are making me stronger! I praise You because I know that You will restore beauty from the very small portion of ashes that is overshadowing my life at this that I can be a strong instrument in Your hands once again. I know you are rebuilding the ruins in my life. Somehow, Lord, I know that you will use this for Your glory. I do know that you will work this out for good...somehow. I praise you for calling me Yours. Make me Your glory, Lord.

I lay all the visitors to this site at your feet today. I pray that you will make Yourself real to them and meet their needs spiritually and physically. As for those who do not know you...well,I lay them at your feet as well...that you would lift the veil that blinds them from seeing how much they need you...that they would seek the salvation you offer. Thank you for giving your life...for freedom's sake. For my sake. In the name of your Son, who gave His precious life so that I might live I pray.


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