Ain't Nothin' Like the Real Thing Baby!

Since last summer I have been volunteering with a local support group for victims of domestic violence. One thing I keep hearing women say over and over is that "He loved me in his own selfish way". I have a major problem with this statement. I even heard this from my mother when speaking of my ex-husband while trying to see things from a "Christian" point of view. I see this statement as a form of hypocracy. It is unrealistic and deceptive. After all, here is what God's word says about love:



Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1 Cor 13: 4-7, NIV)



So, saying that somebody loves "in their own selfish way" from a Biblical perspective is a contradiction of terms. Love isn't selfish. A person can not love somebody in their own selfish way. It is not possible to love selfishly. Love and selfishness are opposites. If a person loves...truly loves...it is a selfless act and self sacrificing in many ways.



God showed us love...when He sent His Son as a living "sacrifice" to redeem a people bound for Hell (see John 5:7-9). Love is not selfish. Therefore, if one is said to "love in his/her own selfish way", then perhaps they need to reflect and see if that statement measures up to God's plan for love. "Selfish" love is not true love, in fact it is quite the opposite. "Selfish" love is a secular idea. It is nothing more than a cheap immitation of the real thing.



John 15:12

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.