My Passion Experience

Katie and I arrived at the theatre about 35 minutes early in order to be able to get a seat and also hook up with the three women that were invited to view the movie with us. Only one of three showed up, but we did give the tickets to others expecting to be able to buy tickets for the sold out show at noon.



Katie sent me home when the film ended and asked me to pick up her kids from school while she stays with the one woman she invited who did come to the show, because she wants to talk. I say, that's what this movie should be about. Sparking the ever important question "who is Jesus?" I pray for Katie and her conversation right now.



When we arrived at the Cinema we noticed immediately that the parking lot was filled up, which is obviously unusual for 11:30am on a Wednesday morning. It was exciting to see a good turn out, then we noticed the line. People were standing in line in front of the door waiting for it to open. It was a chilly 40 degrees as we stood there among others waiting to see this highly talked about film. I kept wondering about why people were here? Why have I wished to view this film so urgently since I first heard about the thing about a year ago now? I have no clue what movie will be showing a year from now, but about a year ago I first heard about Mel Gibson's effort to make a film portraying the final hours of Christ's life, and it has ever since intrigued me. Why?



What is it that is bringing people out to see this movie? Do they just wonder what all the hype is about? Do people hope it might spark a renewed understanding of what Jesus Christ did for them? Do they just want to see blood and gore? Do they want to know who Jesus is? or was? Do they care? So, as I stood there in line shivering, I had a bunch of thoughts running through my mind. I looked at the crowd. I saw elderly. I saw people my age. I saw black people. I saw white people. I saw people with their church fellows, and people apparently alone. I saw people from all walks of life. I felt my heart already in my throat at the simple thought that Jesus always does this...He brings people together.



The doors opened and we all filed into the theatre. I fasted. Not really, but I am a huge movie popcorn buff and today I didn't feel it appropriate to eat popcorn. I got myself a drink and went in to find a seat and save a few for Katie and the other's whom she had invited. The theater filled up quickly and people were all making accommodations for others, making sure people who came together were seated together. I saw nobody get frustrated and people respected the fact that others were saving seats. I was starting to get ancy waiting for Katie to arrive and take her seat because I am uncomfortable saving seats. I figure if you want one, you need to get in and get one! LOL It was important for her to wait for her guest though. She and her guest finally came in and we settled in awaiting the start of the previews.



I was nervous. I have heard so much about the film and all the hype. Frankly I was sick of hearing about it and I just wanted to see it! People came prepared with Puffs and Kleenex and it turns out that was a good plan! I even saw people offering tissue to others before the movie started "just in case."



If you do not want to read about specific scenes in the movie, stop reading now and go get tickets to the show.



Finally the previews began and ran and almost without warning came the verse from Isaiah that signaled the start of The Passion of the Christ. White letters on a black screen which faded directly into Jesus' prayer in the Garden. The mood was set by the fearful praying of Jesus and the stillness of nightfall. It grabbed me right from the beginning as I started to feel afraid. I sensed doom. I could only imagine what Christ felt. He grappled with temptation there in the garden. He knew the burden He was to carry, it had to be something he feared, and satan was there to try to trip Him up. Jesus gave it up to God and God gave Him the strength to do His will. It was in that moment where His humanity and divinity was clearly portrayed.



There were moments of the movie that just pulled me right into the scene. One was Mary, His mother, following Him all the way to the cross. At one point Jesus fell to the ground and the cross with him. He fell hard and his mother watched helpless. Then we are taken to an earlier time in the life of Jesus when he fell down as a child. She ran to him, arms outstretched, and couldn't get to him fast enough to soothe His pain. That flashback coincides with her trying to get closer to her Son as he now carries His cross of crucifixion. Her heartbreak was felt so deeply by the viewer and that was made evident by the sobs from the mothers in the theater. At the foot of the cross Mary begged to die with Him, as I'm sure she felt as though she were going to. I thought about the fact that I do need to die to myself at the foot of the cross daily. Heck...hourly! and sometimes minute by minute.



The demons that tormented Judas after he betrayed his friend led to his taking of his own life. His demons were quite pesky and he knew that they would never leave him alone, and they haven't. I praise God that He can handle my demons and that he gives me the option to let Him do so. If only Judas had.



Some of the moments that stand out in the film for me were when Peter denied Christ that third time and Jesus looked at him directly in the eye. Peter ran. He was ashamed. He wouldn't allow Mary to touch him, to even comfort him, because he was unworthy. I remember that feeling before I was able to accept Christ in my life. The tossing and turning over of thoughts. Feeling unworthy and ashamed. Not fully understanding the Grace of the Lord. Not fully understanding that God loves me right where I am. I like to compare Peter and Judas. What separated their actions? How do I deny Christ in my own life? Peter eventually does turn his sin over to God who forgives him. Judas, although tormented with his sin, never gave it to God. He never accepted God's Grace.



The beatings were atrocious. It seemed as though they were not going to end. Jesus, exhausted and hurting, laid there, hands shackled to the whipping post, bleeding from almost every inch of his body. Before this "punishment" began, Jesus said "My heart is ready" and he accepted the scourging. His energy was drained from him with every blow to the pulp that was His body and then the Romans were commanded at one point to cease the beating. Jesus, looking toward his mother, loving her and all mankind, was able to muster enough to stand again and be whipped some more. That moment when He stood represented that Almighty Power that He is. He HAD to get to the cross! It really spoke to me about His sacrifice, as though the beating he already endured wasn't yet enough to take away my sin. He was ready to accept more. I started thinking about sin. My sin. With every crack across his body I thought of my sin. This sin tore His skin there. That sin ripped through His flesh there. The final blow from the whip, which had pieces of bone tied to the end, actually penetrated his skin and got stuck, and I winced as the Roman soldier had to muscle it out of the back of my Lord.



The struggle that Pilate went through when The Messiah was presented to him was portrayed well, I almost felt sorry for the man. Pilate's wife seemed to know Truth, and yet the truth seems so elusive to Pilate. Pilate does eventually decide to do what is "right" for himself, but I found that an interesting struggle within himself. Instead of taking a stand, Pilate gives in to the wishes of the Jewish leaders and then symbolically washes his hands of the situation. We can not afford to wash our hands of Who Christ is! We must make a decision in this life and we must accept or deny Him as Savior! Pilate seemed to want to have his cake and eat it too, he didn't want to accept responsibility for something he sensed was important, but he needed to. Pilate didn't want to make a decision so he passed Jesus off on Herod, who ended up sending Him back. Pilate was forced to make a decision and still he bucked under the pressure. A poignant moment came as Jesus, being questioned by Pilate, told Pilate that he "has no power over me that hasn't been given (him) from above." Sometimes I just wanted to stand and cheer! Here was this man, weak and bleeding, barely able to stand telling Pilate that he has no power over Him. I really wonder what went through the head of Pilate in those moments?



Another very emotional moment for me came when Christ just began to carry His cross to Golgotha. The crowd is yelling and people are pushing to get a view. Soldiers are working to keep the crowds back and it is an organized chaos being carried out in a rather businesslike manner. Jesus is bloody and bruised, swollen and exhausted. He is on his knees as the cross rests on the ground and Jesus grabs the cross post hanging on for dear life. He is praying, and a soldier jeers him "Why are you embracing your cross you fool?"



I thought about that line for a few moments. "Why are you embracing your cross you fool?"



"Why are you embracing your cross?" I know why He embraced it, at least I say I do. All Christians say we do. He embraced his cross because He loves us. We say "Jesus went to the cross for our sins. He died and rose again so that we might have eternal life." WE say it, but I don't think we can ever fully comprehend all of why He embraced His cross. He literally embraced it! My sin, my sin IS the cross...and He embraced it! That day He died he embraced my sin and it died with Him. Then, a couple of millennia later I accepted the fact that He was willing to take my sin from me and present me clean and whole before my Father. Let me not embrace sin, let me embrace the Son.



There were so many symbolic happenings that I can only recall when they flash back into my mind. It was a lot of movie to absorb. I may want to go see it again. Seeing the crowd mock Him, their own Savior, in ignorance was disturbing, yet it is what I find myself doing at times. This film has a powerful conviction factor!



Another part of the film I enjoyed was the fact that God mourns His Son. The Son who proved Himself faithful, and the Son he was so proud of, was tortured with a pain that was deeper than any one of us can possibly imagine, and God watched all of it. It was difficult to watch Mary react to every scene as it played out in the Passion, and at the end, Gibson demonstrates a bit about the heart of our Father. I won't give away what the particular scene was, but you will know it when you see it. Very well done.



I'll probably end up posting on this profound movie and the story it tells, as well as the convictions it stirs in the future as my mind settles and my heart has time to absorb it all. I got a much needed dose of the reality of Christ's suffering today. I said "dose" for a reason, that's all it can ever be, a "dose".