Do I Have A Life?

I shouldn't be blogging. I should be doing homework. Fact is... I don't blog anymore because I always have homework or housework to do. There is always something. I occasionally check emails or catch up on Sue's awesome blogs and read with sinful envy while wishing I had time to write the stuff I ponder like Sue does. It causes me to wonder.......Do I have a life? I have spent the last three years of my life with my face buried in a book or cleaning a house. I never have time to do the things I enjoy and when I take the time to do them I am eaten up with guilt. Sue says I spread myself too thin when I do the things I enjoy. Truth is......I do. So now I am to the point of not doing anything again. I just do homework and housework. I'm going nowhere with my life. I am working hard trying to earn a piece of paper that says I have some kind of knowlege that I don't feel that I have. I just study to pass tests on information that is soon forgotten.



Sometimes I just feel like I am chasing my tail. I'm running around in circles going after something that I'll never catch and accomplishing absolutely nothing along the way. In the process I find myself getting very dizzy. There are so many things I want to do...but there is no time. There are so many things I need to do...so in the time that I do find, I try to get some of the needs taken care of and I find the wants still waiting to be fulfilled. The biggest thing I want to have time to do is write. I have several books I want to write. I wonder if they will ever come out of my head and make it on to paper. I'm not getting any younger. If I'm going to live my life I better get started!



I want to blog about the awesome day I had while sitting in a radiology waiting room (I was having tests) but that will take a long time (something that is not very free to spend these days for me). I met several people who touched my heart in a way I will never forget (unless I go senile). I did see that in spite of the fact that I may have no life, whatever it is that I do have, it was very blessed by those people (if that makes sense). I do have a life because I realized yesterday that it was changed because of a few very special people who are fighting just to stay alive. That is their focus in life. So yes I do have a life. I just hope I'm not wasting it.