As Pompous as Abraham

Author: Katie

I guess I can be as pompous as Abraham sometimes. Like for instance, today when I prayed I asked God to forgive me for my lack of faith and for questioning Him. I asked Him if He keeps a list of things to heal and not to heal. Like for instance...colds. God doesn't seem to heal a cold. He doesn't heal toothaches, migraines, or upset stomaches. He may prevent them but usually, once thy are going strong, it usually takes drugs to be free from them. He has helped a few small headaches and stomachaches not to escalate but for the most part, there doesn't seem to be a response. Migraines on the other hand, don't go away.....even with drugs. The toothache thing.......well, my daughter has been suffering from an abcess to the point of wanting to die. Neither of us has slept well for 3 nights and we're going on 4. She's on antibiotics that aren't working and prescription drugs that don't keep her pain free long enough to get her to the next dose. I don't know how much more of this either of us can take. So, now when I pray I say "I'm not going to ask you to heal her because I know you won't. It's obvious. We've been here before.....it's not on the list........" That may be why He doesn't heal her. I don't know. I guess I have a bad attitude. I wonder why it is when we are doing something wonderful for His glory, he allows the enemy to come in and make it impossible for us to complete a task. EVERY SINGLE TIME! Why can't we just do something wonderful and torture free????????? Then there is that ever famous "There's a lesson in it I'm sure......OH BROTHER!"

I feel terrible. I love Him. I do. I know it doesn't sound like I do but today I had a wonderful coffee date with one of my best friends who is also one of my pastor's wives. (No not one pastor with many wives, one of many pastors but only one wife.....His name is David but he doesn't fit the mold of King David.) Anyhow, my friend and I had the most wonderful conversation so full of love for Him (well except for the part about His list of things not to heal). We had a good laugh over it but I really do get angry and then I have to stop praying and ask the Holy Spirit to intercede for me because I'm not sure how to pray.

It's like I know before I even start to pray that He isn't going to answer and I figure......What's the point? This is horrible, then I start having doubts about my faith. I am strongly rooted in my faith and I study His word every day. I'm going to school to get a degree in ministry and here I sit in a cesspool of doubt! What is wrong with me? I am also going for a degree in counseling and I sometimes wonder if I need one myself! Auggghhh!

I'll be okay soon. I get in these slumps. But, I'll bounce back.

Sue, I know you love to read my blogs. I'm sorry this one's so negative. It's all I have.

Father, forgive my attitude and lack of faith. Please restore me to a deeper relationship with You and bring me back to you and please.......take the ache from Tiffany's toothache!