The Last Christmas

A sister in my church was recently diagnosed with lukemia. She was given 3 months to live without chemo and a year with. She has many other health problems and I have recently heard that aside from diabetes, she has also suffered from a stroke. We have some of her things here that we were keeping in storage temporarily until she found a permanent place to live. She found an apartment just before she was admitted into the hospital. She's been there for several weeks and will be there for several more.



I don't want to give too many personal details because I don't know how she would feel about it. I think that it is safe to say that she has had a very hard life and has been very depressed lately. Things have appeared to be quite hopeless even though we know that with God all things are possible. Now, it seems that God is calling her home. From the most recent report, it seems she is failing fast.



As I watch the news and see all the Christmas related commercials and conversations on t.v....I can't help but wonder what goes through her mind as she lays in that hospital bed. She has no blood relatives with whom she has a relationship..only the church. The hospital is a long drive and we ( the church family) are trying to visit her as much as possible. I wonder if she is lonely. I wonder if she wants to be alone. I wonder if she thinks "This is may last Christmas on Earth." I wonder if she thinks about Jesus and being with Him...if she anticipates it...if she is afraid...or is she sad when she thinks about how she will not be here next Christmas?



What is it like to KNOW the time that God has chosen? I know there are some benefits like being able to say your goodbyes and being able to make the last moments count and planning your last days and making arrangements for what you will have left behind....but, what does a person think about when they are alone? Does she talk to Jesus? Does she cry? Is she thankful? Is she at peace?



I wonder if she believes that she is dying or if she believes that she is going to get a miracle and live? Is she? Who knows?



I can't imagine what it would be like in her shoes. I don't feel comfortable asking these things. I want to go see her. I did go and see her last week but she was very sick and I don't even know if she remembers my visit. Sue and I stopped in with the kids. She had just begun chemo. Things looked a bit brighter then but now, her body is just not cooperating. It's almost easier to know what to say at a funeral than it is to know what to say when your friend is dying. I feel afraid when I see her...what if it's the last time this side of heaven? What if I say the wrong thing? ( I'm gifted that way.)



I just wonder...what would it be like if I knew that this would be my last Christmas. Talk about a flood of mixed emotion. Please pray for my friend. I know this must be so difficult for her. Pray for us as we attempt to minister to her needs. Thank you.