A Rare Occasional Blog From Katie

Author: Katie

Once again a rare occasional blog from Katie:

As if it wasn't enough to get a D in algebra and a C in biology. Now I have no hair! Okay lets begin at the beginning... I had a B all along in biology. I had no fears of getting a grade lower. Algebra, on the other hand was bad from the start. I worked so hard all semester, even with tutors in my free time. I became a lousy mom and housekeeper. I even became less in touch with my Father. I worked so hard and all in vain because I still got the grades I worked so hard to avoid. There was a team of prayer warriors praying me through the toughest semester I've ever had in school. I felt defeated from the beginning and it followed through to the end. When all was said and done I began to get angry at God. I had thoughts like, "What is the point of prayer? All these people were praying and the answer was NO all along. I put forth the effort, why didn't I make the grade? It's so unfair! YOU CALLED ME TO THIS??? WHY ARE YOU NOT PROVIDING FOR ME TO SUCCEED?" (OH BROTHER!) Then, in church on Sunday I found myself praying..."Father, help me to not go there. Forgive me for being angry, please help me through this that I may not turn against you." Well, he answered that prayer almost immediately. He has caused me to see His work all around me and now I wonder...."Maybe it's a lesson I had to learn. Maybe I have made an idol out of what I feel called to." I have an "I must succeed. I have to succeed." attitude that caused me to neglect my responsibilities to God and my family (AGAIN!).

I expected to make it through college without a grade below a B. I had to have scholarships and a high GPA to get through college. I relied on material things, things of this world. Why do I have to keep going through this? Why can't I just keep faith in Him who called me???? If I made all F's, God can still make the impossible possible! Anyhow, He spoke to my heart so big through church, other students who have had semesters just like mine. Also he spoke to me during worship and fellowship with my church family this week.

He especially worked on me through taking my tutor out to lunch to say "thank you". What's so funny is that she asked me if I really wanted to do it because it wasn't necessary. I told her "I couldn't make the grade in algebra, but I can take you to lunch!" Much to our surprise, during lunch we learned something. We thought God brought us together for the purpose of algebra. Well, it turns out that He brought us together for a much greater purpose. I'll blog about that on another day. But to keep you from hanging in suspense, I'll tell you this much, it has to do with my desire to write a book.

I left our lunch with a fire in my soul once again....and long hair on my head....which leads to the next part of my blog.....

I accepted the grades and the fact that I will once again have to take algebra (you must understand that I'm horrible at math and I seem to be plagued by it!). I started out the semester celebrating this being my last semester of algebra........NOT! So, I finally accept defeat and learn to live on when I decide to get my hair shaped up for the big Christmas party................BIG MISTAKE! I went to a scizzor happy hairdresser who was told to cut off half an inch to an inch. She cut of at least FOUR INCHES! I spent most of this year trying to grow my hair out long by Christmas. I wanted to wear it up in a ponytail with curls dangling down. Not gonna happen! In a matter of 10 minutes, all of my waiting and expectations went right out the window...or into the salon's garbage can! I can't even put it in a ponytail! So, now I have to deal with the fact that I am suffering from vanity. I don't think I'm physically beautiful by any means but I had been recieving many compliments on my hair lately. My son, in his effort to help, gave the ever famous, "Mom, it doesn't matter what you look like on the outside, you are beautiful on the inside and that's what counts!" Oh well, his heart was in the right place. LOL.

I guess I needed some touching up in that area of my life as well. Talk about removing anything that causes one to stumble! Well, any reasons I may have had to feel pride lately, have been removed. Now, I have nothing left but my character which isn't all that great since I spent most of yesterday afternoon and this morning balling and swearing vengeance on my hairdresser! (okay so I didn't swear vengeance, but I have bawled and said some not so nice things). What's really bizarre is that even in that God found a way to show me blessings. Talk about making the impossible possible! My daughter used my words against me (I hate when that happens). The blessing came when I realized that she does actually pay attention to the things I try to teach her. She said, "Mom, you are being vain! You always tell me that I shouldn't be that way and you are not setting a very good example for me to follow!" Wow! My daughter sure cut me down to size with that one!

I replied, "You are right and I'm NOT setting a good example. Now you know what NOT to do!" Actually I was setting a very good example...about "what NOT to do!" But at the same time I had to smile. She has learned about vanity, and she has learned about being an example for others to follow. Walking the walk and not just talking the talk. I read devotions and pray with my kids at bedtime. It's a reward for their getting to bed on time and it works! They know that if they aren't in bed by 8:55 that they have to read on their own without my involvement. Sometimes I feel guilty when I don't read with them. But, it does help them to see the consequences of not following rules. Anyhow, I have put up with alot of bickering and disputes between my kids and wondered if they were learning anything at all from our times of devotion. I guess they have........Boy have I rabbit trailed in this blog or what? Oh well, it's my thought page and my thought pattern right?

I guess I'm going to put myself to the test now and go wash my hair (or lack of it). Pray for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eph. 3:20 "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."