Saturday, October 11, 2008

Night 2

I had a rough start to the day today. I work at a church so I was able to take some time out at the altar this morning. I cried out to God and asked Him for comfort and strength for me...and so much more for Justin. I do pray that somehow Justin hears me say goodnight and feels the prayers going up for him. I spent the first half of my lunch break crying, then I got out the scripture book for soldiers that a friend gave me. I must get a copy to send to Justin. It has scriptures on certain subjects, then a page to reflect for today to help tomorrow. It really helped me so much and my day turned around after lunch. I felt much more motivated to get things done. When I prayed I asked God to restore my joy (as this is the hardest of many heartaches this year). I have felt pretty good tonight. Oh, my heart still aches beyond anything I can put into words...but, I'm not crying and I haven't cried for hours. I think I might be getting past the shock and now I'm beginning to accept things. I know that as long as I don't get a phone call, Justin is doing well. I do trust that he's in good hands. He's in God's hands. I just miss him so much. I wonder what he's doing and if he's thinking about home at this moment. I can't wait to talk with him. I really think I will do so much better when I can communicate with him again. I just keep holding on for the moment when I will see my son in his uniform...a full fledged soldier. The last time he hugged me, he was wearing the shirt that will soon arrive in a box. The next time he hugs me, he will be in uniform...a sailor. I just don't know that I can imagine how proud I will be on that day.

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