Friday, October 19, 2007


World on ShouldersTalk about a life of going from one extreme to the other. After spending a year and a half unemployed, I get a full-time job and go back to school full-time. It has been a very long two months of struggles and victories. Keeping things calm, stress free, and orderly is next to impossible! Add the troubles of raising two teenagers as a single mom and you have a recipe for a breakdown!

I love my job. It's a good job, but it's VERY demanding and VERY challenging. It really helps me to focus on how small and helpless I am and WHO is bigger and needs to be on the throne of my life. Too often lately, God has been on the back burner. Every day, He lets me know that He's with me by bringing forth this verse that He has hidden in my heart:
John 15:5 (New American Standard)
I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.
Remaining in Christ is something I have not been very good at. I keep trying to do things myself. I end up stressed out, hopeless, and miserable. Then, I cry out to Him....and my sweet Savior rushes to my rescue...every single time! Why do I have to get to a point of such complete despair before I run to the only One who can help me?

One of the most difficult things for me to do is to trust God. It should be the easiest thing to do. But, I am one of little faith.
Lord, help my unbelief.

When my faith is small my troubles become huge. When I carry my load alone, it is unbearable. If I want to take another step, I have to let it go. I have to give it to God or I just get buried alive, stuck, trapped, confused and lost in it all....a very frightening and hopeless place to be.

Lord, help my unbelief.

Frequently, Christians throw around the phrase, "God will never put more on you than you can bear". More often than not, the most important part is overlooked....
1 Corinthians 10:13 (NIV)
No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.
...He provides the way out. The WAY is Christ! Our burdens are unbearable in and of themselves. We do NOT have the power to stand up under them alone! We don't! But....our burdens are NOTHING for our Lord. So, why is it so hard to keep Him on the throne? There is a four letter word that says it all....


I am so thankful for God's tender mercy...that he never leaves me. When I give in to the temptations of my flesh (stubbornness, pride, self-pity), when I let the things of this life pull me away, He's never far from me. He watches, and calls me back. When I try to fight to get back to Him, the things that took me away still pull at me. But, he never stops reaching for me. He never takes His eyes off of me. When I finally surrender, He steps in and fights the battles for me and in the middle of chaos, I am at peace...content.

My burdens are unbearable but....
Matthew 11:28-30 (New International Version)
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
Forgiven...His burden is light. Present active participle (that phrase is for Sue). His burden is always light. When we cast our heavy burdens upon Him, they become weightless....all of them...every single time.

I find it amazing that no matter where we are in life, there's always something to keep us from focusing on God. I was unemployed for a year and a half. I could have spent that time in the Word, praying intensly, writing, studying, and building a deeper relationship with my King. Instead, I filled my time with busy work. I kept myself occupied with other things. I even occupied myself with church things...but spent little time alone with God, in His word, or in prayer. I could say it was time wasted. On my part it was. But, God doesn't let anything go to waste. Romans 8:28 says that He works all things for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

Each time I step on the throne of my life, I am humbled to understanding that it wasn't created for me. The throne belongs to God alone. Every time I fall away, He uses that time to make me see how much I need Him. That turns time wasted into productive growth.
On Christ the Solid Rock I'll stand
All other ground is sinking sand
All other ground is sinking sand

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