Wednesday, April 15, 2009

What Is My Alternative?

As Katie and I make our way through Beth Moore's "Esther: It's Tough Being a Woman" study, we often take time out to evaluate what we are learning and how the spiritual principles may be applied to our individual lives. Yesterday was a quite convicting lesson, at least for me.

In the lesson of Week 5 Day 5 we examined the behavior of Zeresh, Haman's wife, and how she endeavored to get rid of Haman's little problem called Mordecai. Moore's point was that often we get so sick of dealing with the drama of a loved one's life, that sometimes we basically want to take matters into our own hands, deal with it in what ever way possible that would end the drama quickly and efficiently.

Toward the end of the lesson there were five questions that we were to answer with a "yes" or a "no". These are the questions:
  • Do I have a low tolerance for the discomforts and upsets of those around me?
  • Do I feel pressured to come up with solutions to a loved one's persisting problems?
  • Do I ever grow weary enough of my loved one's problem that I could be tempted to give advice normally uncharacteristic of me?
  • Do I tend to get inordinately wrapped up in my loved one's conflicts with people and develop strong feelings like jealously, resentment, or hatred toward their opponent?
  • Do I tend to take a quick trip from passionate to irrational?
So, I answered them all and read the very next statement:
If you answered any of the above questions with "yes", what is your alternative?
Ok, that was NOT what I was expecting. Immediately I was so convicted of wrong attitudes. I mean the love and concern I have for my loved ones is genuine, but the way it controls me and causes me to behave when trouble comes, is totally inappropriate as the lesson made that undeniably clear.

I answered four of the five questions "yes".

For a person gifted with wisdom, my love while strong and good, surely has not always been reflected wisely. This is something that needs to change. And now.

It was difficult to look in the mirror at myself today, but thank God I was forced to.

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