Friends

Have you ever wondered how Katie and I became Friends?



I just reread that "interview" and I chuckled at the memories it provoked.



Feeling nostalgic I guess. I can't believe I've been here almost four and a half years! It's my first mission trip!



I remember thinking I knew exactly why God brought me here. I really believed that the joy I was feeling after finding the saving Grace of Christ was going to rub off on everyone I met. I was a witnessing fool! I planned on that being the key to Katie's marriage, that her husband would come to know Christ, and that God was going to use me to help Him do it. Katie believed it too. It seemed to make sense. Why else would he bring me to TN from IA?



I quickly learned that my reasoning was not God's plan. It got rough there for awhile, but in the end, God freed Katie from years of abuse. He has been working to prosper her since.



I'm starting to wonder about my purpose here now. I wonder, now that God is working miracles again for Katie, if my time is over here. That He has used me for His Divine Purpose and that He will move me on to other things now. I don't know. It's all so scary, but I want to be able to be used by Him.



I'm praying for direction, and I'm praying for God to fill the emptiness that is creeping into my heart. I can't stop it from coming, and in fact, I'm almost anticipating it because I know that once the initial wave hits, that God will lift me even higher than before. I'm trying to embrace it. I'm trying to embrace Christ. I'm trying to allow His Grace to fill my cup.



Right now I am really trying to step back a bit, and allow God to work in Katie's life, and at times it is very difficult for me. It is hard to make yourself less, because it's only human to want to be more. We always want to be more than we are, but we can't be. I can do nothing.



I trust God and know that I can do nothing. When I do nothing but trust Him is when I am strongest.



Father, I ask forgiveness because I am so prideful. I think of myself as so much more than I am. In comparison to You, I am nothing. I fall so short of Your Glory. Father help me to find humility. Help me to take a step back, because from this distance I see but a small part of the big picture. You can see the entire canvas. Help me to trust You, the Artist, and Creator, in all things, including my life.