What Does Christmas Feel Like?

Author: Susan L. Prince


I was talking with a friend the other day and I observed that it didn't feel like Christmas to me.  She asked, "What does Christmas feel like?"

I answered, "I don't know...it just feels happier, people are nicer, families gather together, there are great meals...," decorations and commemorations, and people think about Jesus.  I said that I can remember as a kid how exciting Christmas was, that I couldn't wait for it to come, and that now, the appeal is just gone.

Then, last night as my friend and I sat around watching George C. Scott portray Ebenezer Scrooge, I was struck by the thought that it felt like Christmas. All I was doing was sitting around wrapped up in a blanket, watching a Christmas movie with a friend.  Her home is decorated with greenery and lights, ceramic, snow-covered villages and many scented candles glowing, and I was sitting there observing all of it.

She had just finished making a tasty dinner for me, poured sparkling cider into my glass, made sure I was comfortable and warm, and that her home was inviting and seasonally appealing while being entertained by a classic holiday film.  It felt like Christmas.

It felt like Christmas because of the the holiday decorations, the sights and sounds, but most of all because I was spending time with a friend.  This special friend had just spent a part of her day making me feel comfortable and happy by serving me.  It was her good pleasure.

When I think about Christmases past and why they were so anticipated, (obviously as a child, getting presents is the big appeal), but as one grows older, it's the family time and the meal we all share that starts to be the important part.  I think about my Gram making that turkey gravy, and Grandpa challenging me to eat all those mashed potatoes.  I think about Grandma's laughter and seeing to it that everybody is happy, and then taking pictures of us that leave off our heads, feet or the people on either side.  I miss those people.  I miss those times.  They can never be again, because those people are no longer here. I live so far from home and miss my family.

Spending that time with my friend yesterday made me realize that it is the people I miss.  It's the people in my life who have served me and have seen to it that I am happy. My joy has been one of their greatest concerns. You know what?  I am so blessed that even though the people that I miss are gone from my life on this earth, He has seen to it that I've never been without people in my life who love me and want to see me happy, and show me this through serving me.  They are pleased to give of themselves to me, their time, attention, resources, talents and gifts.

At Christmastime I'm remembering how God leads us to do this for each other.  He first did this by giving us life, then He gave us His Son, and His Son gave us salvation.  We should rejoice that our names are written in heaven. It has been His good pleasure to serve us!  That bloggles the mind!

What does Christmas feel like?  It feels like I'm loved.

Sleepless Christmas Eve

Author: Katie

This Christmas Eve I laid awake in my bed. Unlike many Christmas Eve's past, this time I wasn't awaiting the arrival of Santa or anticipating my kids opening their gifts on Christmas morning. This year, I laid awake feeling an ache in my heart at how much Christ was not invited into the preparations for the day and how much there was to do on Christmas day that had little to do with Him.

I tried to pray but couldn't focus so I decided to get up. I bundled up and made my way to the back porch. As I sat quietly under the stars and the beautiful moonlight, I understood the Heavenly peace of the Silent Night. There was a beautiful ring around the moon predicting the white Christmas that was about to arrive.

As I sat in my pajamas, bundled in my sister's coat, I thanked God for the 8 family members that were sleeping inside. I thanked him for the season and the Reason. Then, I believe by the leading of the Holy Spirit, the silence was broken as I heard my voice in the crisp clear night singing, "Oh Holy Night" followed soon after by "Silent Night". It was so perfectly peaceful...it was Christmas.

The air was cold but in my heart, a warm fire burned as I rejoiced and celebrated in song with the Heavenly host under a starry blanket in the earliest hours of Christmas morning. Oh night divine.

A Box of Memories Helps Me Celebrate My Parent's 49 Years of Marriage

Author: Susan L. Prince

It is not a pleasant thing to come home from a wonderful vacation to open the front door and step into an inch of water standing on your beautiful hardwood floors.  You discover that the line to the ice maker on the freezer broke at floor level and had been leaking for, most likely, the majority of the week you were gone, saturating the floors of three rooms.  For the entire following week you've had to endure your home being dried out with giant, industrial dehumidifiers and blowers, the carpet being torn up, the hardwood floor buckling, and the most affected area of the linoleum floor being torn out down to the subfloor.  From under the house, Service Master has pumped out +350 gallons of water and the house is now being tested for mold.  Nope, not fun.

This has been my life for the last week.  My house is a wreck with stuff everywhere that had to come out of bedroom closets and storage spaces.  But, then, I happened upon an old box of memories.  Old pictures, old letters and other paraphenalia like game winning softballs signed by teammates.

In this box of memories I came across a farewell note from my Musicland manager in Ames, IA after I gave notice to leave for TN, and I find it interesting that Brad, my manager (now deceased) credits a "higher power" calling me to leave.  I found letters of recommendation after I left teaching at Keystone Local Schools, notes that my mom and dad sent me while I was on a Search weekend #80 in 1984  (Catholic retreat for youths), and a plethora of other notes and things that make me smile.  I call it all "Happy Notes" and it has been fun rummaging through it.

So many faces were brought to my mind as I came across various reminders of the people from my past; former colleagues, classmates, bosses, employees, students, roommates, customers and family members.  What a treasure!

 While each of the things in this box of memories has significance, a few special ones stand out.  I don't have the time or space to share them all, but probably the most special to me are the notes from my parents.

That Search #80 weekend concluded with a surprise of getting letters from loved ones.  In the lesson for that day we learned about how temporary this life is and that the only eternal thing is the love of God.  All else is "meaningless" and a "chasing after the wind".  We were told that the cards and letters we received, while meaningful things to us, they were written on paper that would deteriorate and that everything on this earth is temporary.  I don't know how it happened, but we were all encouraged to throw these letters into a pile in the middle of the floor.  Then everybody started stomping on the letters and destroying them, I guess hastening the destruction and showing that regardless of the emotions expressed in these letters and things, it is meaningless in comparison to the eternal and gracious love of our heavenly Father.

Being the "free spirit" I am, I chose to keep my letters.  I understood the point of the "lesson", but did not participate.  While others were destroying their letters from family members, parents, friends and whomever else, I chose to cling to mine.  These were precious things to me!  I refused to participate! And now, 26 years later I can pull them out of the box and cherish them.

I've often wondered if those who no longer have their letters have ever regretted destroying them?  I know that I'm glad I rebelled and kept mine.  :)  As I reread them today, I am simply reminded about how much I have always been loved, and that God gave me to the perfect parents.  Mom even points to that in my letter saying "I often wonder why the Lord gave you to us in the special way He did, but thank Him everyday for you."  

I think the most meaningful part of Mom's letter to me is when she said, "Sue, I not only love you, but I truly admire you as a person.  I don't know how many parents can say that to their children, but I can say it to you very easily."  Those words have stayed with me all these years, even when I haven't been digging through my box of memories. 

I read these with different eyes now, 26 years later, and with spiritual eyes, and I can see from them how God cared so much for me that He gave me parents that always pointed me to Him.  Mom tells me in my note, "remember that your best friend, Jesus, is there in good times and bad, to carry you if need be."
 
Dad shared that I know that, "Christ loves you and you know how good He has been to you.  I have seen you give this love to others and it really makes me feel good.  Please continue to live in Christ in the trying times ahead.  You know He will help you."

My dad also said that he was "very proud of the way [I] conduct [myself] and the way [I] live [my] life." 

How blessed am I?  VERY!  :)

This has reminded me about how God orchestrated my life and cared for me even when I had not yet given my heart to Him.  Not that I lived a life of debauchery, but I did not live for Him until I committed to Him in 1999.  All the while though, I have had loving parents praying for me and loving me.  They have been an example of Christ in my life and I am forever grateful God chose them to be my adoptive parents.

What better way to celebrate my parent's 49 years of marriage today than to be thankful that God put them in my life and raised me to know Him?

The Christmas Surprise

Author:  Susan L. Prince

About two months ago I began playing with the idea and plotting logistics.  It was then that I first realized that Christmas was on a Friday and then it dawned on me that the weekend after Christmas would fall on the work rotation that would normally be my weekend off.  I am a retailer however, and so many times during the holidays, it is virtually impossible to get any significant time off.  This has been accepted by my family and has been ever since I started a retail career in 1995. 

I mentioned to a friend that I was thinking about surprising my parents on Christmas Day by showing up unannounced if my work schedule allowed for it and she said "do it!"  Being a Northeast Ohio native though, I also know that more plays into a trip up north than just a work schedule and that would be having to add the familiar phrase "weather permitting" as a coda to every travel plan. 

So I watched to see if I would indeed have Christmas weekend off, and when it was apparent I was going to, I started to watch the extended weather forecast.  I also needed to make arrangements to spend the night somewhere on the way to Ohio on Thursday night in order to get some miles behind me and get an early start Christmas Day to arrive with enough time to visit with my parents.  It is a ten hour drive from Humboldt, TN to Medina, OH, and I lose an hour on the way up, so I was hoping to arrive late afternoon. 

I was being particularly careful not to tell many people about my plans because I really didn't want somebody to accidently "forget" that it was a surprise to my parents and say something on Facebook.  Very few were aware and that helped to keep the secret under wraps.  I also had to find out if my parents had plans for the holiday, which they did, but that was all taking place on Thursday, Christmas Eve, when my sister and her family were going to be visiting.  So, Christmas Day was all clear!

Mom called me earlier in the week and I asked "so what are your plans for Christmas" and she told me that they were going to have a quiet day at home.  She asked me what my plans were and almost threw me off when she said "I suppose you have to work on Saturday".   Knowing I was not working and not wanting to lie to Ma,  I fumbled my reply a little bit but mustered an "uhh, I have plans for Saturday".   Whew.

My friend's parents live in Nashville and welcomed me into their home late Christmas Eve.  They didn't just offer me a bed for the night, they welcomed me with smiles, hugs and love.  What totally blessed me was that Ellen's mom and dad both rose early in the morning, 6:00am, to see me off.  Not only that, her mom cooked a great breakfast and we all ate together before my trip.  Who would have thought that we would all be up that early on Christmas Day when there were no children under the age of 37 in the house!  LOL   I left well rested and well fed.  It was an awesome beginning to my Christmas Holiday.  I was so excited and felt overwhelmed by the blessings I had already received that morning and I hadn't even left for home yet.

On my way to Ohio I started heading north on 65 toward Louisville.  I was talking with my friend on the phone while she headed to work in Jackson.  We were disconnected at some point and then I got a call from my mom.  She was calling to wish me Merry Christmas and she told me that she wished that someday I'd be able to make it home for the holidays, but understands it isn't so easy when one works in retail.  She asked what I was doing and I said that I was driving "home" from a friend's house in Nashville.   She assumed I meant to my home in Humboldt, TN, but I was meaning my home, HER HOME, in Medina, OH!  That was fun!  I was playing with words and she had NO CLUE!  I sure did enjoy that!

So, I drove and drove and drove for eight hours.  I was good until I hit Columbus, OH and then the drive was getting long and I was anxious to just get there.

A couple of hours later, when I was finally in Medina County,  I tweeted "I wonder what my ma is doing?" to which she responded "Was just wondering what Sue was doing. I am watching a little TV and crocheting.....oh, and missing Sue!"

She had NO IDEA that in a few minutes I was going to be knocking on the door and that I would be spending the rest of Christmas Day with her!

I got to the house and pulled in the driveway.  Because the living space of their house is at the back, I did not fear that they would see and/or hear me pull in, so as soon as I turned off the ignition in Janeway, I went up to the front door, sent a tweet "About to blow my parents' mind! First Christmas in 15 years that I am home and they have no idea I am at the door!" and rang the doorbell.

I stood a bit to the side so that I would not be seen through the window to the right of the front door.  The door opened but I could not be seen, nor could I see in, because there was a wreath on the outside screen/storm door in the line of sight.  I poked my head into the middle of the wreath and looked up to see my dad standing there.

I immediately said "Merry Christmas" and dad looked a little confused.  He had no idea to expect me to be there, so it caught him off guard, just for a split second, and then he exclaimed "SUE!"   He quickly worked to unlock the door and let me in and Ma, having heard dad say "SUE!", made her way from the kitchen to the foyer to greet me.  Dad gave me a big bear hug that only dad's can give.  It was a sweet moment.

Both of my parents had tears welling up in their eyes and then Ma had her chance to hug me.  Then Dad hugged me.  Then Ma hugged me.  I was getting passed back and forth!   It was AWESOME!  It felt so good to be in their arms!  I WAS HOME!

We were all so happy to see one another that not many words were spoken in those moments, so we just held on to each other.  One of the most favorite moments of my life for sure!

Then Ma had to go get the camera and post this pic on FB and captioned it "Oh my gosh, Sue just walked in the front door!"  

This Christmas surprise is one that won't easily be forgotten!  Oh it was fun!


Merry Christmas Mom and Dad!

Ma

I don't know when I started calling my mother "Ma", but it happened somewhere along the line. I guess it is my term of endearment for her. She is my ma. She is a life-giver.

Although God created me, and Ma and "pop" adopted me as an infant and therefore was not born of my ma, I consider her a life-giver because of what she has spoken into my life since the day she brought me into her home.

Never did I ever doubt the love she has for me. My entire life has been filled with words of encouragement, words of love, words of hope and all of her words give life.

I am so blessed that God chose my family to put me into. Why of all the mothers on the planet did God destine me for the most perfect ma? It is simply because of the love He has for me!

I remember as a child literally thinking that I want to be like my ma when I grow up. She cares deeply for people and I noticed that even as a youth when she would drive my friends home from visiting me. She would always wait until my friend was safely in their home before we would leave. Simple thing, but from it I learned to care and to this day I don't like to leave from dropping someone off until they are safely inside.

I also remember how on those rebellious teenage days when I might have decided that I didn't need to go to softball practice that she would come into my room, sit beside me on my bed, scratch my back and the scowl on my face would literally melt away. She would encourage me to go to practice because I had a commitment to the team and practice is important. She reminded me that my semi-pro playing grandad wouldn't have appreciated me skipping out on ball practice. Within minutes my attitude would change and we'd be on the road to practice.

Each morning Ma would quietly open the door to my room and gently speak my name "Sue" to awaken me for school. Now and then she might say "up and at 'em" with smile and a cheerful tone that would make rising from bed a little less difficult. She prepared breakfast daily for me and would send me off to school contented and reassured that it would be a good day.

Ma is an optimist. She is the most patient person I know. All through grade school, college, and even now, she is the one I can always call to feel better if I receive some not so good news. She just has this way of making "tragedies" not seem so bad. Her calming voice immediately quells anxiety about any situation and I remember in college how my roommates would always ask "Can I call your mom, she always makes me feel better." You know, even my adult friends do the same today!

I am so happy that my Ma is living a retirement full of activity. She embraces life and can even make the mundane things in life like grocery shopping something to appreciate and she can find the positive side of it. See? She is even a "miracle worker"! LOL She sees the glass half-full in every circumstance.

One of the most important reasons that I feel so thankful that I have my ma is because of all the love she has poured out over me all of my life. Because of the way she loves me, I have an ability to comprehend the unwavering love of God. People often come to understand the love of God through the relationship they have with their parents, and because I never went a day without feeling loved by them, I have been able in my humanity to understand something of the love of God. Unshakable, undeserved, unwavering, and eternal.

I love my ma so much. The love I have for her is very deep and really inexpressible with words. My heart just bursts when I think on how blessed I am.

My ma keeps our family intact. My sisters and I are not the greatest at keeping in touch with each other, but Ma knows what is going on in all of our lives and keeps us all informed.

She is just such an amazing woman and when I grow up I want to be like her.

She is so amazing and cool, she even Twitters! Follow Ma! Her tweets often crack me up!

Happy Ma's Day Ma! I miss you so much and can't wait for my next hug from you!

Home for Christmas

For the last two weeks, I have been thinking that Justin was not going to make it home for Christmas. Then a few days ago, I learned that he would be here but it would be at the end of the day. So, thankful that I would at least have him home for a few days...and at the end of Christmas day, and disappointed that there would be no morning wake-up call in anticipation of the presents we would exchange...I went to bed, in prayer...asking God to keep my heart in check as it was not focused on the real reason for celebrating. I went to bed at 3:00 a.m.

After 3 hours of sleep, I recieved a phone call.

"Merry Christmas" said the voice on the other end of the line. It wasn't long in my foggy state of mind before I recognized that the voice was that of my own son.

"Justin, it's 4:00 am there, what are you doing up?" I responded.

"Oh, I'm excited about my trip home today and I couldn't sleep. So, I went out for a run and decided to give you a call and say, Merry Christmas!"

"Well," I said with my early morning cracking voice, "you are the first to wish me a Merry Christmas, today. Thank you. Now, I don't know about you, but I have only had 3 hours sleep so I'm going to go back to sleep."

"Okay, Mom, I'll call you when I get to the airport. I love you and Merry Christmas"

This is just a rough recollection of the actual conversation that took place this morning as my son was about to blow my mind. The plan was that I would go to the airport and pick him up Christmas night. It would be late when we got home and Christmas definitely would be different from those in the past when both kids would wake me up at six in the morning to get permission to open their stockings while I slept a little longer, then they would come in a little later and ask if they could open their gifts. We would not share Christmas dinner with Justin and there would be an emptiness in my heart.

This year is our last year in our home here in west TN as Tiff and I will be moving to Atlanta next summer. It was our last opportunity to be in our home for Christmas as a framily with Sue. It seemed as if my hopes of having a traditional framily Christmas were shot. So, on with the story...

I hung up the phone only to hear a knock at the door a few minutes later. I went to my daughter's room to ask if she knocked. She answered, "No, but I heard a knock."

By this time I started to feel a bit uneasy. The thought did cross my mind that perhaps it might be Justin but I quickly dismissed it. I went to the front door and called, "Who is it?"

The voice on the other side of the door replied, "It's Tim."

Tim is Justin's best friend who had stopped by to visit the day before. He was leaving to go out of town and would not be around to visit with Justin over the five dayse that he would be home. I assumed he had forgotten something. I did hope faintly that maybe he was going to surprise me with a special "Christmas present"..but it was only a faint hope.

I opened the door to see Tim standing there alone. There I was in my bed head, bad breath, and all the rest of my morning "glory", wondering why Tim was at my house so early on Christmas morning. At this point, I didn't believe that he had any kind of surprise. He said, "Merry Christmas Ms. Katrina!" Then I heard another voice that I instantly recognized say, "Merry Christmas Mom!"

It was still dark and I couldn't see more than a shadow moving towards me and I ran towards that shadow screaming at the top of my lungs and bawling! I wrapped my arms around him and kept saying, "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!" over and over!

You would think that somebody in my home would have come running with a baseball bat or something to save me. But, nooooooooo Sue and my daughter deemed it a safer place to stay in their rooms and let me deal with the "bad guys" that were "attacking" me (at least that is what they were thinking might be going on because of the screams they were hearing!)

Finally, Tiffany came out and eventually, so did Sue...all of us in our nasty morning garb, looking "like dump" as Tiff would put it...then, there was Justin, all dressed nice in his jeans and new shirt we had given to him in Chicago. He had been traveling all night, arrived in Nashville at midnight, had his friends pick him up, then went home with them to visit before coming to wake me up on Christmas morning!

Eighteen years ago, two weeks after my birthday, I received a special package from God. I named him Justin. I got a son for my birthday. I never thought about ever receiving him again in the future for a Christmas present too!

So, the tradition continued one final Christmas in our home as a framily together when my kids asked me if they could open their stockings. I went back to bed just long enough for them to come down a second time and ask me to get up to open gifts.

The only thing that was different was that this year, Justin had been up all night traveling and started dozing off while opening his gifts! THAT'S NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE!

Later, the framily all worked together to prepare Christmas dinner. We picked up our former neighbor just like in years past (but she is in a nursing home now) and celebrated God's abundance as we shared in our Christmas/Thanksgiving dinner one final time. We wound down at the end of the night by attempting to watch the Nativity. Sue was the only one who stayed awake through the whole thing. I did wake up to see the most important part at the end...to bring Christmas home in the heart...the birth of my Savior, the King of Kings, our Lord who is Jesus Christ.

Thank You, Father for a very special last traditional framily Christmas together in our home.

It has been the most wonderful Christmas to remember!

Elf Yourself

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

LOL This was fun (just make sure you create an account first)! In this dance you'll see me and Katie, then Tiffany (Katie's daughter), our friend Ellen and my Ma. This cracked me up so bad! Have fun!

Mashed Potatoes

I am eating mashed potatoes right now, in honor of the gentleman pictured with me almost twenty years ago. I only have a couple of pics of grandpa on the puter, so I went with the one that included me, even though I look little like that anymore! LOL

I loved Thanksgiving meals with my family. We alternated whose house the meal would be served in, sometimes at our house and sometimes at my grandparent's, but I liked it best at Grandma and Grandpa Prince's.

When I was home in Ohio last month and looking at old pictures, it was interesting to note how many feasts we really had at their house. Their dining room table was always filled up with great food, but my favorite has always been the mashed potatoes. I love a table with a giant bowl of smashed tators on it!

Grandpa was always amazed at how much of those mashed potatoes I could put away and would tease me by telling me they were gonna grow hair on my chest! LOL

I miss Grandpa and watching him nap in his recliner after a big meal. Oh, and I can still hear my Grandma's voice and the way she would say my name. Precious memories for me this Thanksgiving Day.

Now for seconds on the tators!

For Tradition's Sake!

Growing up I have been exposed to many traditions. Some are family traditions while others are cultural and/or religious. Recently I have found myself on a quest for truth regarding Christmas and Easter. Now, I'm not going into all the details of the discoveries I have made regarding pagan practices vs. God glorifying practices, but I do have a problem with the fact that Christians who know the Truth continue to celebrate traditions filled with flaws.

For instance, how many kings were present at the stable when Jesus was a "babe in a manger"?

Answer: None!

There were no kings and no wisemen present when Jesus was born. Wisemen came to see King Jesus when he was a toddler and he wasn't in a manger! There is only one King who really stands out to me and he didn't come to present Jesus with gifts!

This is just one simple example of many many stories that have been passed down through the ages amongst Christians...folklore presented as truth for the sake of tradition. For years...even now, I find myself guilty of falling into patterns of living for tradition's sake. Where does that leave God?

I have to question....

Is it harmless? What if Jesus came to visit a local church at Christmas time to see the portrayal of His birth? Would he sit silently or would he correct our misinterpretations?

Where does this leave me? What will I do differently?

I don't have an answer at this time. I only know that I will continue on my quest...while searching my heart and seeking God for answers.

When asking religious leaders why Christians continue to practice things that are not true and teach them as if they are, they don't seem to think there is anything wrong with it. They think it's okay as long as the point is made.

Is it okay to create confusion for a new believer right from the start?

Lies, lies and more lies:

A friend made an excellent point. He said that we indirectly teach our children to worship Santa, the Easter Bunny, even the Tooth Fairy...eventually they learn that it's all a lie. Then we tell them about Jesus and expect them to believe?

My words are not written in judgement or accusation. Perhaps they are written from personal conviciton. Or perhaps they are simply the ponderings of my heart as I hunger for Truth.

Today's Flavor Shot:

Deuteronomy 13: 29-32
Don't worship the Lord your God the way pagan nations worship their Gods.

What is a Valentine?

According to Merriam Webster a "valentine" is 1: a sweetheart chosen or complimented on Valentine's Day

When I went to WalMart yesterday I saw a familiar face loading groceries into her car. It was the waitress that usually serves me at a local diner so I said "hello!".

She replied and greeted me with "Happy Valentines Day!"

That got me to wondering why this person would wish me a happy Valentine's day? She only ever sees me at the diner alone so she has no reason to believe I have a valentine. I am virtually a stranger to her, at most an acquaintance I know from the restaurant, so I find it bizarre that I was greeted with a "happy Valentine's day".

Why do people wish "Happy Valentine's Day" to people they hardly know? What is this Valentine's Holiday anyway? What good is it for single people? If you have no valentine there really is no reason to "celebrate" it is there?

Yule Be Entertained!

Amy posted this YouTube video and calls in the Best Christmas Performance Ever. I followed a link from her comment at the Moral Science Club where Jim was calling the Bing Crosby and David Bowie duet the greatest ever. I do recommend viewing the above video, yule get a chuckle from it and be impressed by the talent as well.

I have so many Christmas favorites, it's hard to call any one of them the "greatest ever", but it sure is fun to bring out the old tunes year after year. It seems my true Christmas favorites are songs that take me back to my childhood.

Do they make any "classics" anymore? What is the most recent song that has become a Christmas standard? One might say "The Christmas Shoes" by Newsong, or possibly "Mary Did You Know" sung by many artists in the past few years. I'd say the Trans-Siberian Orchestra has created Christmas classics with their rock opera styled music and show, but classics are few and far between. Then again, that's what makes them classic.

Then He Smiled At Me

Repost from December 14, 2005

The Little Drummer Boy by the Harry Simeone Chorale is one of my favorite Christmas songs. It started to play in the car today on a burned disc I made of some Christmas favorites. When the brummm brummm brummm started I turned up the volume, but Katie grimaced and expressed disinterest in this song.

I was puzzled, how could this be? I said "whaaat? This is one of my favorites and I can't listen to it and not tear up!" I decided Katie must not get out of this song what I do, so I decided to explain it to her and maybe give her some insight and perspective she has not considered before. After I was done, she admitted that she now hears the song differently and wants to hear it again!

While the song played, I would stop the player now and then to emphasize the lyric and what it means...what it means to me. (I don't know if how I interpret the song has anything to do with the author's/composer's inspiration or thought that was meant to convey, but it is what I get out of the song. This is solely my own interpretation.)

Come, they told me (pa-rum-pa-pa-pum)
A new-born King to see (pa-rum-pa-pa-pum)
Our finest gifts we bring (pa-rum-pa-pa-pum)
To lay before the King (pa-rum-pa-pa-pum
rum-pa-pa-pum, rum-pa-pa-pum)
So to honor Him (pa-rum-pa-pa-pum)
When we come

Baby Gesu (pa-rum-pa-pa-pum)
I am a poor boy, too (pa-rum-pa-pa-pum)
I have no gift to bring (pa-rum-pa-pa-pum)
That's fit to give a King (pa-rum-pa-pa-pum
rum-pa-pa-pum, rum-pa-pa-pum)
Shall I play for you (pa-rum-pa-pa-pum)
On my drum?

Mary nodded (pa-rum-pa-pa-pum)
The ox and lamb kept time (pa-rum-pa-pa-pum)
I played my drum for Him (pa-rum-pa-pa-pum)
I played my best for Him (pa-rum-pa-pa-pum
rum-pa-pa-pum, rum-pa-pa-pum)
Then, He smiled at me (pa-rum-pa-pa-pum)
Me and my drum

The first verse of the song basically sets the stage and this young boy was told that these people were traveling to see a newborn baby who would someday be a king. People are bringing all sorts of gifts to honor him.

Now this is when the song gets really interesting!

"Baby Gesu, I am a poor boy too, I have no gift to bring that's fit to give a king" The kid identifies with the babe because he sees Him as "poor". He's born in a stable, wrapped in cloth amongst the beasts of burden, and it's cold. The boy probably thinks that this kid is in need of some of the gifts that are being given to him, yet, because he is a "poor boy too", he didn't bring anything. He didn't bring anything at all that would be worthy to give a king. I wonder, was the boy embarrassed? Was he curious as to what the fuss was all about? Maybe he felt somewhat self-conscious that all these people were there bearing gifts, and he had not one thing to give. Did the boy feel ashamed? Unworthy perhaps? Do you ever feel that way? Do you ever feel unworthy..unfit to see the King?

Imagine that...having nothing to give Him. We do have NOTHING to give Him that He has not already given everything to us! But, there is one thing we can give Him. The one thing we can give to God that He doesn't first give to us is praise and worship. So, the boy stands before the baby in a manger, with no gift to give Him, and asks him "shall I play for you on my drum?"

I had to stop the player at this point! Think about this...The kid says he has "nothing", but he has everything God has gifted him with. The kid plays a mean drum! So, what does he do with the gift God gave him? He gives it right back to God! I LOVE THAT! God gave us all gifts...we are supposed to give them back to Him! It is called worship!

I restart the song where we left off. So now what is the answer? Can he play his drum? Here is this tired mother who just hours ago gave birth to a seven pound, ten ounce baby (Obgyn 1:1) and here comes this dirty, poor, young boy asking to play a drum. It is quiet. The babe is resting, the mother is still and kindly accepting the gifts coming to him from the respectful visitors, the animals are hushed and the night is still. All that is heard is the crackle of the fire warming the area and casting a flickering, dim light on the people, and here comes a boy and a DRUM! A drum! I'm sure Mary was thrilled with the idea of him banging a drum! Imagine a kid coming to play a drum at the next baby shower you attend! Drums are not usually welcome at those events! LOL

The next verse is one verse that blows me away...Mary nodded. This is a nod of affirmation from a tender-hearted mother, and then the boy begins to play. Creation joined in when The ox and lamb kept time. (Psalm 96:9 "Worship the LORD in the splendor of his holiness; tremble before him, all the earth.") The moment was filled with praise and worship because one young boy played his drum, offering the gift God gave him back to His Lord. The Little Drummer Boy was the first worship leader!

I played my drum for Him, I played my best for Him! That's all the kid knew to do! He gave it his everything too and here is where the music really begins to crescendo. The animals have joined in, the people bearing gifts are listening and clapping maybe and tapping their feet to the sound of the drum. The music continues to build to an intense climax and then the drumming stops. It ends suddenly with a decrescendo, a brummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm that fades away into silence. The little drummer boy stops playing.

Now the great pause!

Silence...for just a moment.

What transpires in that moment? The boy has just offered his best performance on his drum. Was it enough? Was it enough to please the king...the tiny baby lying before him? There is anticipation in the air...the animals are quiet, the gift-bearing crowd is awaiting the next moment, wondering if the boy's gift of drumming had any impact at all? Everyone is still and quiet waiting for something...anything...to happen next. Then....

(slightly slower tempo here to contrast the climax of the drummer's offering.)

He smiled at me,

Me and my drum.

That's the line that gets me every time! I can hardly listen and not have tears well up.

"Well done my good and faithful servant" is what that says to me!

The Little Drummer Boy is such an impacting story to me, and I enjoy the vocal interpretation by the Harry Simeone Chorale to help convey the tenderness, majesty, mercifullness and joy of this story. We come to the Lord with all we have, which without Him, is nothing. We deserve nothing. Yet, he gives. He gives us all we have. He gave us His One and Only Son, who died and was raised. We praise Him for that. We worship Him. We are to worship Him with everything that He gave us...our heart, soul, mind and strength! And a drum...or whatever else He has gifted you with! When you do that...He will smile at you. So, play your drum!

Another Black Friday in Retail

I made it! I made it through another "Black Friday"...this was my 12th Black Friday in a row, and it was just about the one that took me down! Whew! What a day!

I don't know why it seemed so overwhelming today. We were organized, had a plan in place, we were ready! We were psyched! We were running on adrenaline! SUUUURGE! Then the doors opened and whooooooooooooooooosh! People everywhere!

It was like a tsunami!

We were all being pulled in eighteen different directions at once! It was almost comical how crazy it was! I love it!

Black Friday shoppers are pretty experienced about this annual craziness so customers for the most part were patient and understood when we ran out of items, and for that I am thankful.

So, after all that, business drops off to almost normal in about 3 hours. So, why on earth do retailers year after year open so early? Spending the extra labor and time when really all you do is shift the sales to the early part of the day? It's kind of like the shift in daylight hours for daylight savings? Maybe we need Black Friday Savings Time!?!?

Anyway, apparantly some number crunchers are gonna be watching this years Black Friday results with scrutiny.

Elf Yourself

C'mon, you gotta try it!

I guarantee it will put a smile on your face...you'll see!

CLICK HERE TO ELF YOURSELF!

LOL

I elfed me, my dad, Chief Wahoo, and Ma.

Taps

Today was Veteran's Day.

Thank you veteran's of war...for fighting for the freedoms I enjoy as an American. Thank you families of servicemen and women for your sacrifice as well. Let us never take what you do, and have done, for granted.

Today I was honored to play "Taps" at the conclusion of the concert with the Jackson Symphonic Winds. This was not something I had planned to do, but was asked by the conductor shortly before the start of the program which was patriotically themed in honor of Veteran's Day. He came up with the idea to read the "unofficial" lyrics to taps, and then have me play it.

Taps is not a technical challenge to play, however, what makes it difficult is the fact that it is somber and it is to be played reverently. It's performance commands the attention and focus of an audience, therefore all eyes and ears are on the performer. I was humbled to perform it today.

Tonight, I received one of the best compliments on a performance I have ever received. It had to do with Taps and the email reads "...your taps gave me goose bumps."

Taps

Day is done, Gone the sun
From the lakes, From the hills, From the sky
All is well, safely rest.
God is nigh.

Fading light, Dims the sight
And a star, Gems the sky, Gleaning bright
From afar, Drawing nigh,
Falls the night.

Thanks and praise, For our days,
Neath the sun, Neath the stars, Neath the sky,
As we go, This we know,
God is nigh.

Thank you to all veterans!

When I remember what freedom costs, it gives me goosebumps.

Christmas

Katie is the one responsible for the festive look of the house this year. Well, this year and every year. I think she did a great job again! (Click for a bigger pic)

I'm not one for doing all the decorating, I don't know why because I sure do like the look. I guess it is too much work and I'm too lazy!

I can't believe Christmas is a week away and it was +60° today. It just doesn't seem like Christmas without cooler temperatures, but I'm not complaining...I do not like it cold!

The Little Drummer Boy

Repost from December 14, 2005

The Little Drummer Boy by the Harry Simeone Chorale is one of my favorite Christmas songs. It started to play in the car today on a burned disc I made of some Christmas favorites. When the brummm brummm brummm started I turned up the volume, but Katie grimaced and expressed disinterest in this song.

I was puzzled, how could this be? I said "whaaat? This is one of my favorites and I can't listen to it and not tear up!" I decided Katie must not get out of this song what I do, so I decided to explain it to her and maybe give her some insight and perspective she has not considered before. After I was done, she admitted that she now hears the song differently and wants to hear it again!

While the song played, I would stop the player now and then to emphasize the lyric and what it means...what it means to me. (I don't know if how I interpret the song has anything to do with the author's/composer's inspiration or thought that was meant to convey, but it is what I get out of the song. This is solely my own interpretation.)

Come, they told me (pa-rum-pa-pa-pum)
A new-born King to see (pa-rum-pa-pa-pum)
Our finest gifts we bring (pa-rum-pa-pa-pum)
To lay before the King (pa-rum-pa-pa-pum
rum-pa-pa-pum, rum-pa-pa-pum)
So to honor Him (pa-rum-pa-pa-pum)
When we come

Baby Gesu (pa-rum-pa-pa-pum)
I am a poor boy, too (pa-rum-pa-pa-pum)
I have no gift to bring (pa-rum-pa-pa-pum)
That's fit to give a King (pa-rum-pa-pa-pum
rum-pa-pa-pum, rum-pa-pa-pum)
Shall I play for you (pa-rum-pa-pa-pum)
On my drum?

Mary nodded (pa-rum-pa-pa-pum)
The ox and lamb kept time (pa-rum-pa-pa-pum)
I played my drum for Him (pa-rum-pa-pa-pum)
I played my best for Him (pa-rum-pa-pa-pum
rum-pa-pa-pum, rum-pa-pa-pum)
Then, He smiled at me (pa-rum-pa-pa-pum)
Me and my drum

The first verse of the song basically sets the stage and this young boy was told that these people were traveling to see a newborn baby who would someday be a king. People are bringing all sorts of gifts to honor him.

Now this is when the song gets really interesting!

"Baby Gesu, I am a poor boy too, I have no gift to bring that's fit to give a king" The kid identifies with the babe because he sees Him as "poor". He's born in a stable, wrapped in cloth amongst the beasts of burden, and it's cold. The boy probably thinks that this kid is in need of some of the gifts that are being given to him, yet, because he is a "poor boy too", he didn't bring anything. He didn't bring anything at all that would be worthy to give a king. I wonder, was the boy embarrassed? Was he curious as to what the fuss was all about? Maybe he felt somewhat self-conscious that all these people were there bearing gifts, and he had not one thing to give. Did the boy feel ashamed? Unworthy perhaps? Do you ever feel that way? Do you ever feel unworthy..unfit to see the King?

Imagine that...having nothing to give Him. We do have NOTHING to give Him that He has not already given everything to us! But, there is one thing we can give Him. The one thing we can give to God that He doesn't first give to us is praise and worship. So, the boy stands before the baby in a manger, with no gift to give Him, and asks him "shall I play for you on my drum?"

I had to stop the player at this point! Think about this...The kid says he has "nothing", but he has everything God has gifted him with. The kid plays a mean drum! So, what does he do with the gift God gave him? He gives it right back to God! I LOVE THAT! God gave us all gifts...we are supposed to give them back to Him! It is called worship!

I restart the song where we left off. So now what is the answer? Can he play his drum? Here is this tired mother who just hours ago gave birth to a seven pound, ten ounce baby (Obgyn 1:1) and here comes this dirty, poor, young boy asking to play a drum. It is quiet. The babe is resting, the mother is still and kindly accepting the gifts coming to him from the respectful visitors, the animals are hushed and the night is still. All that is heard is the crackle of the fire warming the area and casting a flickering, dim light on the people, and here comes a boy and a DRUM! A drum! I'm sure Mary was thrilled with the idea of him banging a drum! Imagine a kid coming to play a drum at the next baby shower you attend! Drums are not usually welcome at those events! LOL

The next verse is one verse that blows me away...Mary nodded. This is a nod of affirmation from a tender-hearted mother, and then the boy begins to play. Creation joined in when The ox and lamb kept time. (Psalm 96:9 "Worship the LORD in the splendor of his holiness; tremble before him, all the earth.") The moment was filled with praise and worship because one young boy played his drum, offering the gift God gave him back to His Lord. The Little Drummer Boy was the first worship leader!

I played my drum for Him, I played my best for Him! That's all the kid knew to do! He gave it his everything too and here is where the music really begins to crescendo. The animals have joined in, the people bearing gifts are listening and clapping maybe and tapping their feet to the sound of the drum. The music continues to build to an intense climax and then the drumming stops. It ends suddenly with a decrescendo, a brummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm that fades away into silence. The little drummer boy stops playing.

Now the great pause!

Silence...for just a moment.

What transpires in that moment? The boy has just offered his best performance on his drum. Was it enough? Was it enough to please the king...the tiny baby lying before him? There is anticipation in the air...the animals are quiet, the gift-bearing crowd is awaiting the next moment, wondering if the boy's gift of drumming had any impact at all? Everyone is still and quiet waiting for something...anything...to happen next. Then....

(slightly slower tempo here to contrast the climax of the drummer's offering.)

He smiled at me,

Me and my drum.

That's the line that gets me every time! I can hardly listen and not have tears well up.

"Well done my good and faithful servant" is what that says to me!

The Little Drummer Boy is such an impacting story to me, and I enjoy the vocal interpretation by the Harry Simeone Chorale to help convey the tenderness, majesty, mercifullness and joy of this story. We come to the Lord with all we have, which without Him, is nothing. We deserve nothing. Yet, he gives. He gives us all we have. He gave us His One and Only Son, who died and was raised. We praise Him for that. We worship Him. We are to worship Him with everything that He gave us...our heart, soul, mind and strength! And a drum...or whatever else He has gifted you with! When you do that...He will smile at you. So, play your drum!

Did She Turn It On?

Katie is at a friends celebrating Thankgiving with them for a little while. Before she left, she put the turkey in the oven and planned to return home around 2:30 at which time we will share our Thanksgiving feast with turkey and all the trimmings.

Good thing Tiffany walked out here and checked on the turkey. She looked at the oven and asked "Does mom know she didn't turn the oven on?"

"WHAAAAAAAT?" I frantically inquired

"She didn't turn the oven on" Tif repeated.

So Tif called her mom and I heard a muffled "WHAAAAAAT?!" over the phone.

LOL

I guess we are going to eat around 4 now.

Until then I'll sing my "Gobble Song" and eagerly await dinner.

Independence Day

Its now Independence Day, 4:40 AM. Although my body is tired beyond any stretch of the imagination, I'm finding it difficult to find slumber for my soul. The restlessness I'm experiencing at this moment has been ongoing for quite some time. Some of this is due to health complications but, I think the majority of my restlessness comes from the deepest part of me, the core of my being that cant seem to stay focused on whats really important in life.

I find myself questioning what Im supposed to be doing. Am I doing the right thing? Ive lost a connection I once had with my Savior. Ive lost my childlike faith. So, I incessantly worry. This is the one thing I know God does NOT want me to do (see Matthew 6:25-28). I used to trust God with the most difficult circumstances. I remember the process of the divorce I experienced 5 years ago. I had so much peace during the worst time of my life. I trusted God and He took care of me. But, now, I don't even trust Him with the little things. Instead, I dwell on them day and night. I worry about not having an established career at age 38. I worry that I'm not making wise choices. I get depressed because things haven't turned out the way I hoped.

I find myself suffering from unhealed wounds due to spiritual battles I keep trying to fight on my own. I'm trapped in bondage to my own selfishness. I've struggled over the past year or so like I haven't struggled in many.

I find myself in utter despair over the fact that God called me to serve Him through ministry over twenty years ago and still I sit here doing no more than I was after surrendering to that call. In fact, it seems as though I am doing even less. In a previous Myspace post (June 17, 2006), I mentioned being in bondage to the call God has placed on my life. (I'm sure He's thrilled about that.) I know it was never His intention to place me in bondage when He called me to serve. He gave me a gift! What have I done with it? It hasn't always been this way.

When I was in my twenties I taught Sunday school and vacation Bible school. I sang in the choir, on the worship team, and even directed the childrens choir/theatre for a year. It was wonderful! I was blessed to lead several children to Christ. I learned all the ups and downs of serving in these areas. I experienced struggles and joys that were difficult and wonderful growing experiences. During this time, I don't believe I was experiencing the bondage that I am today. I believed it all to be a process of training for the original call to women's ministry. I was getting prepared.

Now, as I approach my forties, I've watched many young Christians (both in age and faith) jump right into service. Young women in their twenties have become great servants in ministry, speaking, writing, music, teaching, mentoring, or whatever the call. Yesterday, even, I read an article by a woman who has a ministry and a published book. She has only been a Christian for six years! Six years! I became so whiney when I read this. I even cried out to God, "Six years, God! What have I done with my faith? How come you can use her in such an incredible way but I just sit here? Why don't I qualify? What is wrong with me?" Me! Me! Me!

Today, when I awoke at oh about 3:30 or so, I was so frustrated because of my discomfort both physically and spiritually. I finally gave up laying there trying to do what wasn't going to happen (sleep) and went to the spare bedroom/laundry room. I began reading "The Practice of the Presence of God" by Brother Lawrence. Its a bit of a difficult read due to the language of the day, but it wasn't so difficult that I couldn't get the message. It brought about great conviction.

Here I am a victim of my own selfishness, bound instead of blessed by the receiving a gift from God (a call to ministry), when I should be celebrating the freedom I have in Christ, the giver of that gift. I have been enslaved to the very thing that was intended to bring me freedom. The very thing that should be drawing me into His presence is being used as a tool of separation. As I've said before, its become an idol, an obsession that has taken over my life and is making me miserable. This obsession, over the past year or so has actually stunted my growth. It's affected every area of my life because it's kept my focus on what I feel entitled to instead of Who's I am. I should be obsessed with Christ and having a healthy, thriving relationship with Him, nothing more or less.

I talk a good talk when I get inspired. I know in my heart what's right. I share these things at any given opportunity. But, then there's the in-between times. I can be so self-centered! I feel like I'm going nowhere in life, a misfit who just doesn't belong. I dwell on the lies from the enemy instead of the promises of God and the Truth of His Word! I believe that I have no place in church. I don't qualify for anything. (I even apply this to my personal life in the area of finding employment. I'm either under qualified or over qualified. Over qualified is still unemployed! It still means I'm not qualified.)

I should be dwelling on the fact that I am a princess and His mercies are new every morning! I am beautiful and loved by God right now, right where I am, unemployed or not, single or married, serving in ministry or not, sleeping or NOT (just had to toss that in there). He loves me and thinks I'm beautiful even as I wallow deeply in the muck and mire of self-pity. Why isn't that enough? It should be.

My focus should be on nothing more than loving God. I should be concerned with nothing more than fitting thoughts of Him into every moment of every day. I should be conversing with Christ instead of making a curse of His call. I should see everything in the light of the cross. I should be laying my burdens on the One who died for me. Nothing else should matter. Fitting in shouldn't matter, finding my place shouldn't matter, a career, a house, my appearance, a husband, good health, even involvement in church activities should mean nothing in the light of Christ. That's where I need to be. Thats where I so desperately want to be, in His light. I just want to be at the point when I can lay all of this "stuff" down at the feet of my Savior and say, its all nothing in comparison to You. My first and most important call in life is to LOVE GOD. That is the Truth (Mark 12:30) .

On this early Independence Day morning, I am reminded that true independence comes from complete dependence on Jesus Christ. God help me.

The Day I Was Crucified

For Easter, Katie gave me a gift. It is a book called "The Day I Was Crucified" as Told by Jesus the Christ, written by Gene Edwards.

Now, I am usually a reader of non-fiction, so when starting this book it was difficult at first to stop thinking so critically about this book. I would read and think to myself how can he know that happened? That didn't happen! or that's not right! Once I finally relaxed and accepted this as a creative exploration of Jesus' thoughts on the day of His crucifixion, I was able to just embrace the thoughts and ideas and enjoy the read so far.

Last night Katie and I read some of this together and we read something very wonderful and profoundly impacting!

Here is the scene: Jesus is hanging on the cross very near death as the battle is raging in the heavenlies. We hear His thoughts as He fights against World System, Sin, Satan, Law and finally Death. In the physical realm, Jesus has just spoken to the thief on the cross next to Him,

"Then he said, "Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.

Jesus answered him, "I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise."

It was now about the sixth hour, and darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour," (Luke 23:42-44)

Jesus physically dies and there in the tomb with Him lies World, Sin, and Law. Death also lay there, still and silent. This is the climactic part of the scene as Jesus is going "head to head" with Death in battle, and "all were awaiting".

The scene changes to the heavenly realm where angels are talking amongst themselves. They noticed that the door to their realm was missing, and they could look down upon the earth. They wondered aloud if that meant they would be able to go back and forth to the earth as in the days of Adam?

Or would they see mortal beings setting foot in the realm of the spirituals?

"I could not imagine," replied one of the angels.

One startled angel blinked and asked, "Pray tell what is that I see? Whatever it is, it seems to have only this moment appeared. It seems to be coming this way."

"Forbid that fallen man should gain entrance to the habitat of the heavenlies!" exclaimed a rather concerned angel. "But, what is that?"

"I have no idea" responded another angel.

"It is far to bright to be an angel"

It cannot be a human, can it?"

"Of course not! Fallen men are not allowed in the realm of thing spiritual under any conditions. Well, whatever it is, it is coming this way."

"Then we perhaps should prepare to make flight."

"Why?"

"Because! Whatever it is, so bright, so holy, we may not have a right to live in its presence."

"He stumbles, runs, and stumbles again. Look, no he is jumping. He is definitely...coming in...here!"

"I have never seen such conduct," mused another of the angels.

"As I said, we may have to find some other place to live. For one thing, has there ever been such purity and holiness?"

By now the entire angelic host had moved to the unguarded entrance to heavenly places. "What light!" The angels were dumbfounded with awe at the one approaching.

The author continues to describe the scene as it unfolds with the angels trying to understand the situation unfolding before them. They are curious, but cautious and unsure as to what to make of this creature that has now begun talking to them.

"I have never seen such innocence, purity, and perfection," whispered one of the angels. "He does not seem to be aware of how beautiful he is or how bright his light is."

The creature inquires "You have never seen anything like me, have you?"

"You are the first," stammered one of the angels, finally, "but...I have an idea you will not be the last. As to who you are...I would be pleased to tell you, but I do not know who or what you are."

"He told me that I would be here today. Is this today?"

The mouths of the angels fell open.

One said "At last we know who you are!"

Another said, "That is not possible. After all, remember what he was: He was an old thief. That old, cheating, lying thief."

"You are the first of the redeemed."

"You are the handiwork of Christ's redemption."

"You are the first of those for whom we have waited throughout the ages. We have long waited for this day to arrive."

"You are called a holy one."

I was delightfully fooled. I thought it was Jesus approaching the heavenly realm. It was not. It was the thief.

The thief.

Me.