Aloneness, Loneliness and What Isn't

Author:  Susan L. Prince

I received a nice email from Tim, a longtime follower of Sisters' Weblog:  It Bloggles the Mind!, today in response to what he read in my previous post.  What he had to say was very encouraging to me, but it also made me realize that I may want to clarify some things.

In my post I talked about how different things are now that the framily has gone its separate ways, and that I am lonely.  While it is true that at times I feel very lonely (tonight would be one of those times because I am sick and there is nobody to dote on me,  LOL), I understand that this is simply a transition period in my life.

I know that God has plans for my life, and that He is always near.  He won't allow one single need in my life to go unfulfilled.  He is giving me a new circle of friends and people to care about, and who care about me.  I have a great church family that won't let me fall through the cracks. 

The wonderful thing about the friendship that Katie and I have is that it endures.  We have been through so much that I believe she and I will forever be friends.  Her kids grew up here in this house, and we all shared this home for nearly a decade.  There is a connection that doesn't just end.  I don't mourn for the loss of the framily, because there is no loss...only change and growth.  Onward and upward!

At times I do look around and see things that trigger memories, like the hole in the door or the many pictures that rotate through on my screen saver, but these are awesome things!  I am so very humbled that God chose to give the gift of framily to me.  At times I am so taken aback, I get teary-eyed and overwhelmed with the realization of the magnitude of the blessing I was given.

It is normal for me to miss aspects of that former life, but it is not crippling me or anything like that, and I didn't want to leave that impression.

I have my moments of just feeling really kind of needy and lonely, that I won't deny (and those moments might end up being inspiration for blog posts!  LOL) but I have a history with God bringing me through lonely times.  It is part of my testimony.  His Word has proven true to this heart of mine and I trust Him to give me all I need. 

God is so good to me it bloggles the mind!

Changes Aren't Permanent, But Change Is

Author:  Susan L. Prince

There is a knock at the door and as I turn the corner to look, with a good idea of who is there, I see Justin, my not-the-son, peeking in at me with a giant smile on his face. 

Justin is home on leave from the Navy and trailing behind him are his best friends, Tim and Kevin.  Soon the young men are chowing down on lunch at the kitchen table and sharing laughter and stories as they visit with one another.  Their voices fill this empty home in which I live alone, when mostly the sound of my own voice echoes in the halls.

It strikes me how much different life is for each member of this framily.

Katie is off and married, living in Alabama now.

Justin is working hard in the Navy serving our country.

Tiffany is making a life for herself as well, living in Alabama.

I live alone with my dog Whyzer, after recently having to put down Cheri, Katie and the kids' Boston Terrier. 

It has been an adjustment and sometimes I do get very lonely.  This seems like an awful lot of house for just one person.  I'm trying to make the place feel like "mine", but there is much here to remind me of what once was, and I am highly unmotivated to work very hard to clean and declutter.  I want a simplified, decluttered life, but I guess I'm too lazy to get it that way.

A few months ago I received word that the system that I use for commenting on the Sisters Weblog was changing.   I had no choice but to allow that to happen.  Then Blogger notified me they were discontinuing support for those of us who use FTP to upload posts to our blog hosted at our own server.  I had no choice but to deal with that and move the blog to http://sistersweblog.blogspot.com .  Turns out that the commenting system change didn't really matter now.

As I went through the process of moving over the first year of posts from 2002 (because they were actually formatted differently and wouldn't import to Blogger), I found myself reading about my former life.  I was reliving some of the experiences of our framily and it helped me to realize how blessed I really am.  The blog really is somewhat of a history of the framily, a history of my spiritual growth, Katie's growth, and in some ways, even a history of some of the changes Northbrook church has endured over the years.

Nothing has stayed the same. Not the framily.  Not the blog.  Not me.

I am somebody who naturally wants to cling to the past, but I have learned that if one does that, they will get left behind.  I know that I need to embrace the changes in my life, and I believe I do that most of the time, but hearing the guys today took me back to the days when I couldn't wait for it to be quiet.  Now it is quiet most of the time.  Be careful what you wish for?

Katie keeps telling me that I am not the same person.  I feel the same, but looking over those old posts makes me wonder?  

This upcoming weekend will have the framily in the same house at least for a little while again.  It will be a good thing and bittersweet at the same time.

God Delights To Surprise

Author:  Susan L. Prince

I can't WAIT to share because God just really showed me His Presence this weekend and not in any HUGE major way, just in small things. When He opens my eyes enough to see Him in the small, it just magnifies His Glory that much more!

Here's the one from Saturday. I am a BIG Jennifer Knapp fan and was excited to see her perform last night at TPAC in Nashville. My friend Katrina and I made arrangements to spend the night in Franklin and visit Grace Chapel church on Sunday morning.

Not only did Jennifer Knapp come onto that stage with only her guitar and God given voice, the chick gave a stellar performance that I enjoyed greatly. What a gift she has and I'm so thankful she is choosing to share it again. (Photo by Knapp Fan David Crenshaw)  

The band, Todd Snider, that she opened for was great, wow they were good, but it was not my kind of music. A bit too country for me, so Katrina and I decided to leave. As God would have it, He timed all that perfect so that I would be able to MEET JENNIFER KNAPP again (I met her once before at the Mid-South Fair in Memphis in 2000) as she stood near her table where the demo CDs were. (I had already pre-ordered her release and had a demo in pocket!) Yes! I got to look in that woman's eye and say "thank you for sharing your music. I saw you perform at The Belcourt last fall and you rocked!" Katrina and I continued to share with her that we had had the chance to talk with her once before ten years ago in Memphis. Anyway, that was a neat treat and did get a couple of pictures with her, so that rocks.

Onto the next part of the story. A few months ago, I received a notice from Amazon.com that I had earned a "free download" of music for being such a great customer. This download was for a full length mp3 album of my choice, but the choice was to come from specific selections and of those I had to choose from were about 800 different albums. I did not want to waste my free album, so I took my time to sample hundreds of CDs over many days and weeks to be sure to choose the perfect one. I'm a music junkie and I am always looking for something new that inspires me, something that stands out from the rest of the mediocrity out there.

I searched and searched all of the rock titles and the Christian rock titles. I am a "rock 'n' roller"! I love rock music! Hard rock music! I had fun going through some old tunes from back in the day and stuff but then after days of deliberation and frustration that nothing was jumping out I came upon a CD called "Heaven on Earth" - Covenant Worship with Nicole and David Binion. Never heard of them? Neither had I, until I sampled their music. This is NOT music I am naturally drawn to, but something about this particular one captured my attention and I ended up downloading this as my "free mp3 album". Normally I'd find music from Disciple, DecembeRadio, Switchfoot, or Skillet or some band like that. Choosing a praise and worship CD is highly unlikely, but God led me to it.

I was so excited about this music and I listened to the album over and over. I shared it with a couple of friends who like exactly this type of worship music, but both were very surprised that I LIKED IT! LOL Anyway, the music pierces my heart with words of truth and just plain good music. God becomes real to me through it. You know how good music can be?

Now, moving on. Jennifer Knapp was lot of fun, but hardly compares to the experience today. Grace Chapel is a huge church, but it is often packed and difficult to find a seat. We made sure to arrive early, so after breakfast in a nifty place called Country Boy restaurant in Leiper's Fork, we made our way to the church and found a seat. This church offers communion each week before each service for anybody wanting to partake. A prayer is said, people go up to get the elements, return to their seat, quietly meditate/pray or whatever and take of the bread and blood. As I watched people do this, I noticed that I recognized one woman walking up the aisle and took a seat directly behind me. Didn't think too much of it, people sometimes look alike, you know?

Soon, the praise and worship music started and it was so uplifting as it always is there. (Amazing musicians and music!) I heard a female voice accompanying worship that sounded familiar to me, but I've listened to the Grace Chapel stuff online a few times, so that explained away the familiarity.

As the music and worship continued, I was getting into the music. Then I heard a familiar male voice and thought naaaah, can't be. Worship continued and then I heard a SONG I KNOW VERY WELL! I turned to Katrina and said "no way!" and she said "oh, they do this song all the time", so I was kind of crushed because I thought I had figured out why I was so familiar with the voices and the song. But, then the woman next to me, a Grace Chapel member, got my attention and asked "who are those people? I have never seen them here before." and then I KNEW. MY HUNCH WAS CORRECT! Get this: I said "I know who they are, Binion is the name. David Binion, but I forget his wife's name." So, worship really took off now because they taught the song "Heaven and Earth" to the church, in parts (which was cool) and everyone could then belt it out to the Lord! Woohooo! I was so taken aback that God had given me such an awesome revelation that He is ever present! MAN! I started thinking what are the chances? what are the chances? 




What are the chances that I would land on THAT one album of worship music (out of my normal character to purchase),after spending DAYS and weeks poring over 800 selections that I had to choose from, only to visit a church that I live two and a half hours from, and to have the ARTISTS of that album that has been such a blessing to me, leading worship today!?!?!??!?!?!???????????

GOD THING!

I was totally blown off the planet by that one! Meet Jennifer Knapp, now this? WOW!

Then, the message for the service was fantastic about being spiritually blind and how we are to be used in the recovery of sight for the blind. Mind blowing stuff from Pastor Steve today, convicting...but that's for another day.

After the service, I went over to the Binion's and thanked them for leading worship and sharing with us today. I shared my story of how I came upon their CD and they thought it was so cool, and seemed surprised in a way. I also shared about the surprise God gave me that I live 2.5 hours away and was only in town visiting Grace Chapel and that the people responsible for that awesome worship CD that has been edifying me for months were here live and in person to lead the music! WOW WOW WOW! Nicole said "It is amazing what God does, my name is Nicole, what is yours?" and we talked a bit more until I excused myself to go wait for Katrina back at my seat.


As I was sitting there I saw that woman I had seen earlier that I recognized. Not being totally sure of who she was I just kind of observed, and then I heard her speak while she talked to a person about the amazing message she heard. As soon as I heard her voice, I knew who it was and that I was right. Kathy Troccoli was seated behind me worshipping at Grace Chapel today. How cool is that?

Anyway, God totally blessed my time with Katie this weekend and I am ever so grateful. He also went above and beyond and put a couple of exclamation points on the days! Woohooo! God is good! :)

Seeing Jennifer Knapp and being able to talk with her is not any monumental thing in life, but it was special to me.  It was nothing God had to do for me.  It didn't really grow me spiritually, but I believe God took pleasure surprising me with that, knowing full well I would enjoy it.

Worshiping with David and Nicole Binion at Grace Chapel today was quite a surprise and very special to me.  Their songs have helped me reach a place of intimacy with God over the past couple of months that I don't often experience.   I was able to worship God in a deep way today because I knew He delighted in surprising me.

My time with Katie was blessed as well.  Two friends and sisters in Christ that have experienced so much together, but are now living lives completely different than they were a year ago.  God is delighting in growing the both of us in Him, and He delights in surprising us.

He Bloggles the mind.

Dying

By Katie

Hindsight is 20/20 right? There are people who look over their lives and say they wouldn't have changed a thing. Oh boy I wish I could say that. There are a lot of things I would have done differently. I would have not made a lot of the mistakes I made that I still bear the consequences from. But, everyone makes mistakes…and this is my confession. I am taking responsibility and owning what I have done…and hopefully I will learn from this and not repeat it.

Here is what I am processing today….

God told me to love Him first and then love others and esteem them as better than myself. That was the first thing He told me to focus on after my husband and I separated over a decade ago. He prepared me in advance. He warned me that I was about to be majorly deceived…but I missed what He was sayin. In my deeds I tried to put others first…but in my heart, I was number one. People kept telling me, but I didn't believe them. I didn't realize it until now…now that I have "loved" everyone right out of my life.

I have been grieving over this. I have had bitterness over this…and I have been selfish.

I thought I was selfless and pleasing God because I gave up a lot of personal desires and time to serve God and others through my family, friendships and others. I put everything into giving my children good memories of their childhood. I thought I did good to be at their sports/band/play practices and performances. I invested much time and effort and money into their well-being and education. I did the usual things to keep the home running. I read books on raising kids, attended seminars, was heavily involved in church and even took the kids on a mission trip overseas. I burned my candle at both ends for an entire decade trying to do everything right, trying to do what I believed to be God's will. This included working and going to college. I did. I did. I did. I. I. I.

When the kids were involved in sports and other activities, I often got very upset because I had so much to do and resented that there was another practice, another game. But I went and cheered them on. I became very stressed at trying to manage work, school and motherhood. I spent much of my life feeling overwhelmed and weary. I began to feel taken for granted and started reminding them of all I do for them. I thought it would help to get some appreciation.

The same thing happened with my best friend and roommate. She helped a lot with the financial end of things. In return, I did everything I could to see to her happiness in the deeds I did. I cooked, shopped, did my best to maintain the home while going to work and school. She is a musician and I went to many of her performances as well to support her as well as my children. I enjoyed every one. I believed that accountability was showing love and began holding her accountable for how she spent her time and who she spent it with. I overstepped boundaries because I allowed myself to be deceived into believing I was in God's will because we were accountability partners.

So, I was trying to keep the home, keep up with the kids, go to school, work, and run everyone's life. I believed that I was being submissive when in reality, I became a control freak. I was deceived. I saw myself submissive because I did what I was expected to do and I let everyone dictate to me what I should do and I worked myself to exhaustion. I wanted accolades but received criticism and became resentful. I did most of this while having a Christian blog, going to church, learning how to live…but trying to control things apart from God…all the while believing I was trusting Him and letting Him have the controls of my life. I was slowly and craftily deceived.

I even became my own enemy in trying to love myself! I allowed self centered thoughts to control my actions. I started to see myself as a failure and a hopeless mess. The enemy of my soul started whispering to me, and taking advantage of my weakness in my exhaustion and weariness. When we are serving God, we do not grow weary or faint. That should have been a huge clue to me…but I totally missed it. I began to focus on how I was feeling invisible and unappreciated until somebody needed me to do something. I began to focus on my loneliness and how I felt used and unloved. I then made it a point to remind my friend and family every day about all I sacrificed for them and how I only wanted them to spend some quality time with me…and that I didn't think it was too much to ask in return. I didn't realize that quality time is time spent out of want…not guilt or obligation. Then when they spent time with me, I resented that they spent it out of guilt or obligation and that they didn't really want to. They couldn't win. They were annoyed by my requests and sick of hearing about how they treated me so terribly. I became more resentful and more angry. I created an environment that caused everyone in my household to become focused on themselves and we all began to hurt one another. I was so deceived and I couldn't understand why they thought a little time sacrificed was asking too much. I thought I was fun to be around, but I had become a very unpleasant person. I couldn't understand how it is that I could totally give up my life to make theirs better and bought into a lie that they believed they could just take what they wanted and expect more…and not want me around until it was convenient for them.

It got to the point that all my family ever heard from me is how I would like their time since I gave them so much. I constantly reminded them about how good I was to them and all that I had sacrificed and given to them….so I unintentionally tried to manipulate them through guilt to give me what I wanted (company and appreciation). I never stopped wanting to please them and do

good things for them…I just became resentful because I didn't get the response I expected. I didn't do what I did to get something back…but when I was met with a lack of appreciation, sometimes ridicule and often complaint...I unintentionally retaliated with "reminders", causing a guilt trip. I was shooting myself in the foot. I just nagged (unknowingly) the ones I loved right out of my life and I suffer the consequences even now because they have gone on with their lives and for the most part…I am not a part of it. I now understand why God told me to love Him first and I understand better about loving others. I did not love. I took advantage. I abused. I did everything I accused others of doing to me.

What I would have done differently…..

I would have let go and let God. I would have kept my mouth shut and not gotten so obviously irritated whenever there was "one more thing" to do. I would have not created an environment of eggshells in my family by being on edge and ready to "blow" at the next request…all the time. I would not have reminded them on a daily basis of all the good things I did for them and that they should show more gratitude. This made everything I did, every sacrifice, for nothing…a waste. I ruined it. I was a killjoy. If I could change anything I did in the past, I would not have alienated the ones I claimed to love so much. I am always talking about how we suffer the consequences of our poor decisions…and now I am doing that.

I would have spent more time on my knees and less time running my mouth. I did what I did out of love, but became selfish and felt like I deserved something in return. I defeated my whole effort. All I wanted was to create a stable, loving environment for my home and to give my children happy childhood memories. But, what they have is memories of a grumpy, selfish mom who they began to fear to ask for anything. They were afraid to ask for money because I would lecture them on finances. They were afraid to ask to go anywhere for fear of a lecture on how exhausted I was. Often, when time was spent with me, it was out of guilt and not pleasurable for them…then I lectured them because they didn't want to spend time with me. The same thing happened with my best friend.

I didn't feel like she desired to spend time with me like I desired to spend time with her. I began to lecture her on how she spent her time and on priorities. Out of guilt, she would squeeze me in here and there in hopes to make me stop my endless nagging. But, it didn't work. I felt her discontentment and lectured her about spending time with me just to ease her conscience. I even lectured her on working and hobbies interfering with church…on the surface I believed I was doing this for her good…but now I wonder if I didn't do it out of selfishness thinking it would give us more "quality" time together.

In all my efforts to sacrifice my time and energies in the name of selflessness and being "others" focused, I became extremely self centered and didn't even see it. I was deceived in the midst of all my attempts to be "godly" and became very ungodly. Now, I am staring into the mirror of God and I do not see Christ in me…I see a lot of ugly.

I am on retreat right now. I came here to find forgiveness towards others who have hurt me. Now, I only seek forgiveness that I so desperately need. I pray I will learn from my mistakes and turn and never repeat them again. I am truly sorry. In my efforts to make your life wonderful…I made you miserable.

My prayer now is not God…change their hearts…it is, Father, change mine. Make me over.

In Jesus Name,

Amen

I am guilty of pointing out splinters in others' eyes when I had a huge TREE in my face. I am guilty of selfishness, pride, not putting God first, causing disunity and division. I am guilty of focusing on all the bad things that happened as if nothing good did. We had lots of good times in spite of my bad attitude. I cherish those memories and will try to place my thoughts there from this point forward. God is teaching me about focus this year. Every year he grows a specific area of my life and each one builds upon the ones before. I am shocked to look back and remember the first theme He gave me, "Love God and others". He told me this because He knew the deceiver was coming…and I still fell. It's a slow fade. If you are weary of doing good, it's very likely that in your efforts to do good, something is very wrong and needs to change. If you are serving God WITH God then you will not grow faint or weary. If you are serving God WITHOUT Him then you are trying to grow good fruit apart from the branch and you will only wither and die. But, the good thing is, a seed has to die before it can produce fruit. Your only hope is in Christ...the Vine.

I hope that my enlightenment has killed this part of me that needed to die and I will begin to walk in new life abiding in Christ (that is another theme God gave me 2 years ago). I hope that people will see the change God has made in me…and that He will be glorified! I think I am finally FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Unforgiveness

Author: Katie

At the risk of totally humiliating myself , I am writing a public confession. I pray that God will bring good from this.

I thought I was the kind of person who didn’t have a problem with holding grudges but then circumstances occurred in my life to show me that even I am susceptible to this deception of wanting justice and vindication where I feel I have been wronged…all about me. How did I get to this place? It was a slow and deceptive fade into selfishness. I am confessing this sin of unforgiveness and selfishness that is overwhelming and poisoning me. This grudge and bitterness I hold is towards people who once held a very special place in my heart. I keep justifying to myself that I have a right to this, but truthfully, there is no justification there is only God’s Word which says that this is sin and it is harmful to my relationship with Him. He forgave me and if I don’t forgive as He has forgiven then I am not reflecting Him or bringing glory to His name. More than I am sinning against those who have wounded me…I am sinning against God and it has deprived me of the Spirit’s power in my life and thrown me into a time of desert wandering. I know this but I can’t seem to let go, to trust God and let Him have it. Why? He can fix this. I am only making it worse.

Brothers and sisters, I covet your prayers that I will be healed from this…that I will find a way to turn from it and stay turned. It is self-preservation that keeps me in this state of darkness. My faith is weak. I know my God is bigger than this…but I also know He will not choose for me. It is my prayer for strength to choose for myself and to believe that He alone is the one who should deal with those who have wounded me. He will let them know if and what they have done wrong in His time. It’s not my job to make them understand and I can’t show them Truth because I’m not really sure what that is myself. But, when I let go and let Him have the controls and trust Him again, He will let me know Truth and He will give me understanding towards why I have been so deeply hurt. Maybe I don’t want to know. Maybe that's my problem.

I have never harbored bitterness like this before and I don’t know why I continue to put myself through this. It serves no purpose and is only destructive to my well-being, my testimony, my relationships to others and my relationship to God. It is a waste…I know this…so why do I find some twisted sense of security in it? I do what I don’t want to do.

God help me

The Christmas Surprise

Author:  Susan L. Prince

About two months ago I began playing with the idea and plotting logistics.  It was then that I first realized that Christmas was on a Friday and then it dawned on me that the weekend after Christmas would fall on the work rotation that would normally be my weekend off.  I am a retailer however, and so many times during the holidays, it is virtually impossible to get any significant time off.  This has been accepted by my family and has been ever since I started a retail career in 1995. 

I mentioned to a friend that I was thinking about surprising my parents on Christmas Day by showing up unannounced if my work schedule allowed for it and she said "do it!"  Being a Northeast Ohio native though, I also know that more plays into a trip up north than just a work schedule and that would be having to add the familiar phrase "weather permitting" as a coda to every travel plan. 

So I watched to see if I would indeed have Christmas weekend off, and when it was apparent I was going to, I started to watch the extended weather forecast.  I also needed to make arrangements to spend the night somewhere on the way to Ohio on Thursday night in order to get some miles behind me and get an early start Christmas Day to arrive with enough time to visit with my parents.  It is a ten hour drive from Humboldt, TN to Medina, OH, and I lose an hour on the way up, so I was hoping to arrive late afternoon. 

I was being particularly careful not to tell many people about my plans because I really didn't want somebody to accidently "forget" that it was a surprise to my parents and say something on Facebook.  Very few were aware and that helped to keep the secret under wraps.  I also had to find out if my parents had plans for the holiday, which they did, but that was all taking place on Thursday, Christmas Eve, when my sister and her family were going to be visiting.  So, Christmas Day was all clear!

Mom called me earlier in the week and I asked "so what are your plans for Christmas" and she told me that they were going to have a quiet day at home.  She asked me what my plans were and almost threw me off when she said "I suppose you have to work on Saturday".   Knowing I was not working and not wanting to lie to Ma,  I fumbled my reply a little bit but mustered an "uhh, I have plans for Saturday".   Whew.

My friend's parents live in Nashville and welcomed me into their home late Christmas Eve.  They didn't just offer me a bed for the night, they welcomed me with smiles, hugs and love.  What totally blessed me was that Ellen's mom and dad both rose early in the morning, 6:00am, to see me off.  Not only that, her mom cooked a great breakfast and we all ate together before my trip.  Who would have thought that we would all be up that early on Christmas Day when there were no children under the age of 37 in the house!  LOL   I left well rested and well fed.  It was an awesome beginning to my Christmas Holiday.  I was so excited and felt overwhelmed by the blessings I had already received that morning and I hadn't even left for home yet.

On my way to Ohio I started heading north on 65 toward Louisville.  I was talking with my friend on the phone while she headed to work in Jackson.  We were disconnected at some point and then I got a call from my mom.  She was calling to wish me Merry Christmas and she told me that she wished that someday I'd be able to make it home for the holidays, but understands it isn't so easy when one works in retail.  She asked what I was doing and I said that I was driving "home" from a friend's house in Nashville.   She assumed I meant to my home in Humboldt, TN, but I was meaning my home, HER HOME, in Medina, OH!  That was fun!  I was playing with words and she had NO CLUE!  I sure did enjoy that!

So, I drove and drove and drove for eight hours.  I was good until I hit Columbus, OH and then the drive was getting long and I was anxious to just get there.

A couple of hours later, when I was finally in Medina County,  I tweeted "I wonder what my ma is doing?" to which she responded "Was just wondering what Sue was doing. I am watching a little TV and crocheting.....oh, and missing Sue!"

She had NO IDEA that in a few minutes I was going to be knocking on the door and that I would be spending the rest of Christmas Day with her!

I got to the house and pulled in the driveway.  Because the living space of their house is at the back, I did not fear that they would see and/or hear me pull in, so as soon as I turned off the ignition in Janeway, I went up to the front door, sent a tweet "About to blow my parents' mind! First Christmas in 15 years that I am home and they have no idea I am at the door!" and rang the doorbell.

I stood a bit to the side so that I would not be seen through the window to the right of the front door.  The door opened but I could not be seen, nor could I see in, because there was a wreath on the outside screen/storm door in the line of sight.  I poked my head into the middle of the wreath and looked up to see my dad standing there.

I immediately said "Merry Christmas" and dad looked a little confused.  He had no idea to expect me to be there, so it caught him off guard, just for a split second, and then he exclaimed "SUE!"   He quickly worked to unlock the door and let me in and Ma, having heard dad say "SUE!", made her way from the kitchen to the foyer to greet me.  Dad gave me a big bear hug that only dad's can give.  It was a sweet moment.

Both of my parents had tears welling up in their eyes and then Ma had her chance to hug me.  Then Dad hugged me.  Then Ma hugged me.  I was getting passed back and forth!   It was AWESOME!  It felt so good to be in their arms!  I WAS HOME!

We were all so happy to see one another that not many words were spoken in those moments, so we just held on to each other.  One of the most favorite moments of my life for sure!

Then Ma had to go get the camera and post this pic on FB and captioned it "Oh my gosh, Sue just walked in the front door!"  

This Christmas surprise is one that won't easily be forgotten!  Oh it was fun!


Merry Christmas Mom and Dad!

A Testimony of Spiritual Growing Pains Through Friendship

Author:  Susan L. Prince

I have one of the best and deepest friendships one could have with my friend and sister in Christ, Katie. We became quick friends when I responded to her prayer request ten years ago. From that moment on, it was apparent that God brought us together to enjoy a friendship.

We have shared many laughs and deep conversations. We have loved deeply and served one another in different ways. We studied God's Word together and grew spiritually.  It was a relationship that set God at the center and as a result, our friendship flourished and we both were blessed by it.

As with any relationship, they often come with struggles.  Our friendship has not been immune to that, but today we can praise God because He grew us into friends, grew us through our friendship, and grows us through our struggles relationally to this day. We have been able to teach each other many things and for that I am ever thankful.  It has not been an easy journey at times, but I know "that in all things God works for the good of those who love him." 

Many changes have occured in both of our lives over the past few years especially; the kids have both grown and moved on, Katie is now married and living in another state, and I am living alone in this house our "framily" once shared.  We are where God intends us to be at this time, and I am confident that the gift of friendship that God has given to Katie and me will continue for all our lives.

Recently I had the opportunity to share with Northbrook Church some of what I have learned through the mistakes that I made in my relationship with Katie and how I failed to yield my will to God's, especially with regard to submitting to one another and submitting to spiritual authority.  This sin of failing to submit resulted in me falling out of God's will and that naturally leads to suffering dire consequences, and in my case lead me into a spiritual desert place which I have shared about before. 

I shared last June on the Sisters' Weblog A Little Something I've Learned About Spiritual Authority.  (it is a three part series run back to back so you can read all of it scrolling up the page.)   The past few years have been difficult for both Katie and I, some of which is documented on this blog.  I know some of my actions and words have been hurtful to Katie and for that I am sorry, but again, Jesus is the Lord of both of us, so in His amazing ways, He is restoring our friendship to something even better!  I am forever grateful for His mercy and grace. 

I want to make available to you the testimony I shared with my church on Sunday, 11/14/09.  Sin had damaged my relationship with my Father, but His love is faithful and He used circumstances and His people to help open my eyes to spiritual truths that only He can teach me.  You can listen to the audio file of my testimony HERE, and catch the entire message Chuck delivered HERE.  Below I will include the list of six things I learned about this type of submission as a summary.

Things I learned about submitting to one another:

1. We are to put aside our pride and recognize that we can be easily deceived.
2. God puts us in a body of believers purposefully so that we can edify others and speak into each other’s lives – as iron sharpens iron
3. Our brothers and sisters in the Lord love us and exist to encourage us in the Lord.  They do not wish to harm us.
4. Those walking in the spirit have Godly insight into your life, and this is especially true for our spiritual leaders.
5. God commands us to honor spiritual leaders – He has entrusted them with an awesome responsibility and He divinely equips them to watch over our spiritual well being.
6. If we fear God, we will submit to one another because we WANT to promote His glory and we WANT to build one another up in order to fulfill our destinies in God’s plan.

Listen to my testimony delivered to Northbrook Church for the message "Submit to One Another"