Author: Susan L. Prince
There is a knock at the door and as I turn the corner to look, with a good idea of who is there, I see Justin, my not-the-son, peeking in at me with a giant smile on his face.
Justin is home on leave from the Navy and trailing behind him are his best friends, Tim and Kevin. Soon the young men are chowing down on lunch at the kitchen table and sharing laughter and stories as they visit with one another. Their voices fill this empty home in which I live alone, when mostly the sound of my own voice echoes in the halls.
It strikes me how much different life is for each member of this framily.
Katie is off and married, living in Alabama now.
Justin is working hard in the Navy serving our country.
Tiffany is making a life for herself as well, living in Alabama.
I live alone with my dog Whyzer, after recently having to put down Cheri, Katie and the kids' Boston Terrier.
It has been an adjustment and sometimes I do get very lonely. This seems like an awful lot of house for just one person. I'm trying to make the place feel like "mine", but there is much here to remind me of what once was, and I am highly unmotivated to work very hard to clean and declutter. I want a simplified, decluttered life, but I guess I'm too lazy to get it that way.
A few months ago I received word that the system that I use for commenting on the Sisters Weblog was changing. I had no choice but to allow that to happen. Then Blogger notified me they were discontinuing support for those of us who use FTP to upload posts to our blog hosted at our own server. I had no choice but to deal with that and move the blog to http://sistersweblog.blogspot.com . Turns out that the commenting system change didn't really matter now.
As I went through the process of moving over the first year of posts from 2002 (because they were actually formatted differently and wouldn't import to Blogger), I found myself reading about my former life. I was reliving some of the experiences of our framily and it helped me to realize how blessed I really am. The blog really is somewhat of a history of the framily, a history of my spiritual growth, Katie's growth, and in some ways, even a history of some of the changes Northbrook church has endured over the years.
Nothing has stayed the same. Not the framily. Not the blog. Not me.
I am somebody who naturally wants to cling to the past, but I have learned that if one does that, they will get left behind. I know that I need to embrace the changes in my life, and I believe I do that most of the time, but hearing the guys today took me back to the days when I couldn't wait for it to be quiet. Now it is quiet most of the time. Be careful what you wish for?
Katie keeps telling me that I am not the same person. I feel the same, but looking over those old posts makes me wonder?
This upcoming weekend will have the framily in the same house at least for a little while again. It will be a good thing and bittersweet at the same time.
Tuesday, March 09, 2010
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Sue...you really aren't the same.
ReplyDeleteLike, how so?
ReplyDeleteI have told you the answer to that question many times...and there are many ways in which you have changed...mainly... I lived with an introvert who just wanted alone time and quiet...You never wanted to hang out with me and my friends and weren't much on the social scene....especially with people you didn't know.
ReplyDeleteNow, you are always socializing, always out, always meeting new people and it's wonderful... I just wish it happened about 10 years ago!!!!
I am not *always* out socializing. I have, true, but it still drains me and then I crave being alone and doing what I want to be doing. I'm forcing myself out is all.
ReplyDeleteI am usually at work or rehearsals, so when I have time, I prefer to hang and do much of nothing.
My beloved sister Sue: I love you dearly, and am a silent prayer warrior on your behalf. I've seen you grow in my more than six-year online relationship with you, and I think there is truth in what Katie says. I think we're all created for community, even if you are naturally inclined towards being alone; I think that inherent desire towards community, which I believe is God-given, will ensure that you will continue to do well where you are, and to "move on," if you will, with this new phase in your life.
ReplyDeleteWhile we all can expect change to be permanent, I think how we react to these changes speaks volumes of our character. You've done remarkably well, given what's happened to you in the past few months, and your character and resiliency in the face of change will see you through.
If I could fly across the Pacific to give you a hug, you know I would. But given that I can't, I hope you'll accept my offer of continued prayer and a virtual hug because I'm aching to give you one right now. *huuuuuug*
Thank you Ganns.
ReplyDeleteYour kind words of encouragement touch my heart. I appreciate the prayers, too!
I accept that virtual hug! (((((((Ganns))))))