Tonight I received the most awesome letter any Mom could ever want from her Sailor at sea. Physically we are miles apart but the same omnipresent God who walks with me daily...is sailing on a Navy ship in the Pacific with my son. Here is his testimony....
"Hey mom. Much has happened since we last talked. But I got asked a question from Sydnie and it was, ”What has God been teaching you?” and this is what spilled out. Feel free to share with anyone. Actually please do. I will leave you to read.
Now about what God has been teaching me. I am going to be 100% honest, I had some rough days after I got back to my old job and was very depressed. And I want you to forgive me cause that is why I wasn’t keeping in touch. I was very upset about where I am in my life, and wasn’t getting any emails from anyone for a few days. I felt that I shouldn’t write any to get any, and that was selfish on my part. But one night I was just fed up of all of this and everyone and being on the ship away from everyone and everything I love and I just bought a coca cola and went outside when it was dark away from everybody. I just wanted some alone time with GOD to talk things out. I prayed and just let it all out. I told God how I felt knowing that he already knew, but it was just good to say it out loud. I kept telling Him how I don’t want to be here and I said it over and over, and then out of nowhere I remembered how when Jesus was in the garden praying for God to let this pass but only if it was his will. And after that I actually just started crying. There I was sitting by myself on a ship in the middle of the pacific ocean, on a ship, crying my eyes out. I felt so selfish. And I was. I still don’t want to be here, and I am still going to try to go army or back to SWCC, but if it isn’t his will and it doesn’t happen, then I am ok with that. I don’t want to be here and He didn’t want to die on the cross for me…..but He DID. So I will be here and do his will. Slowly people are realizing why I am so different from them. They keep saying, “you’re a virgin?!,” or, “why don’t you cuss?” And I tell them why. No more unless they ask. But I can see in there eyes take is something they are not used to. If I cant go army or back to SWCC them I will bid my time here and get out after four years and go to college… if that’s what He wants.
Also after I read the book obsessed He taught me more through it. I need to be obsessed with Him. Not to just want to be with Him but to be like the man who found a treasure in the field and sold everything he had so he could buy that field and call the treasure his own. To be obsessed is what God made us for, and why not? He is OBSESSED with us. Love is an obsession. An analogy that my youth leader told us to get to the kingdom was that your in a large room, FILLED with people moving around pushing and shoving each other. You are at one corner and you have to get to the door on the other side to get out, but the only way to get there is to follow a small line on the floor that you cant see , and that is curvy not straight. All the while people are pushing you and trying to get you off the line.
A way I see it is kind of like that. But you are running with all your might. As soon as you get your speed up you get knocked back sometimes down. But you still run even though you get hit and pushed, your body gets beaten over and over, but your so obsessed that you don’t even feel it, and in a way it seems to even make you speed up with every hit or knock back you just crave it more and more like a drug. Till you finally get there. And He is there so you may finally rest and be with Him….forever. no more running after that. That is what he has taught me.
Love
Justin, your son, Full of justice"
This is what it means to me when Proverbs 31 says "Your children will rise up and call you blessed"
Amen!God bless your sailor lots!
ReplyDelete~Elda~
Okay, WOW....somehow I DID miss it before, but seeing that boy grow up into this AWESOME young, Christian man, I have two things to say...
ReplyDeleteOne, I want to hug him, like RIGHT NOW!!!!
And two, YOU (and He) DONE GOOD!
Jordan ADORES Justin, and I only wish he and his wonderful, Godly influence could be around her more often, and closer!
He's a good man.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite part of him visiting is our talks. What a blessing it is to talk with him adult to young adult.
That and playing video games! LOL
Love that boy!
errrr, love that MAN!
ReplyDelete