His Plans

Author:  Katie

Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

Several years ago God used this passage to remind me of a calling He has placed in my life. It's a calling I have never been able to abandon completely but one I have always felt unworthy and incapable of fulfilling.

I first accepted Christ at age 16 and received this calling almost immediately. I envisioned myself teaching other women and pointing them to Christ(women's ministry). I was only 16 and I could see myself in the future as a teacher of adult women. I knew I had a lot of growing and maturing to do before that could happen but I knew in my heart that it was my destiny as His child on this planet. But,I have always been a dreamer and just passed this off as another dream...I have always thought, "God would never use me that way...I am not qualified, nor will I ever be".

Shortly after being saved, my life took a turn for the worst. I turned my back on my salvation and on God and decided to go back to my old lifestyle. This caused me to make many mistakes from which I still suffer consequences even today. However, as the saying goes, "every cloud has a silver lining", I have found that there is a brighter side to my poor choices.

Romans 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God and have been called according to his purpose.

God has used the circumstances in my life to draw me back into His presence and to know that He loves me just as much today as He ever did or ever will. I have an undying passion for women's ministry and yes I do dream of the day when I will see my dreams become a reality. However, in the process of it all, I find myself not content with my life as it is because I'm always reaching for something that seems to be so far away.

Sometimes I just think that I am just a dreamer and this is one of my dreams that will never be a reality but, "I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God's unfailing love forever and ever". Hosea 11:1 If indeed God has called me to this, then I must believe that He will bring things about in His time.

I want the Lord to direct my heart into God's love and Christ's pererverance (Thes 3:5). If I have dreams I want them to be His dreams for me and not my dreams for myself. I want whatever I do to be for His glory and not mine.

Sue told me this morning that being a dreamer causes me to constantly be unsatisfied. I guess this is true. I was heartbroken at first when I got that much needed slap in the face. However, if I should be satisfied where I am and I stop dreaming about my call,I may become complacent and never strive to achieve the dreams that I believe are from God. Then where will I be?

I can't give up. Every time I have doubted my call in life, I have had somebody or some circumstance to bring me back to knowing that I know that I know that this is where He wants me to be and I have to keep reaching higher for that goal. I want to love the Lord my God with all of my heart, soul, mind, and strength. I want everything I do to be for His glory because He is the only one who deserves it. I will write that book and I will come to a point in life where I can fully commit myself to serving God through women's ministry. I will continue to be unsatisfied where I am so that I will always be moving forward and pressing on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus (Phil 4:13).

"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you" (Matt 28:19).

It's not a dream. It's a commission.