The Object of My Affection

I went on an annual retreat with the women from church this weekend. God did wonderful things for me there and I just wanted to post an excerpt from my journal.



We were given an hour to go and have quiet time alone with God. I asked God to help me find a place that was perfect. I was looking for a place in the woods but close to the river. I found the perfect place. I took a walk down a path through the woods that led me to the most perfect spot on the river.



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10/02/04 11:05 AM



Father,



I just finished singing "This is the Air I breathe"...well, sorta, because You interrupted me as you breathed life into my soul. I began to pray and you moved me to write.



You've taken me to a quiet place by the river. I can hear creation praising you. The bugs, birds, fish jumping, the rustle of the water and its lapping on the shore. I am wading my feet in it as I write this. (It was so cool and refreshing and cleansing inside out).



I feel tears forming as I am totally taking in the pleasure of this much needed time with You. You know how I have been spoken to through Your servants who have told me to "delight [myself] in You" and to "Seek [Your] kingdom and righteousness". In this You will give me the desires of my heart end everything will just fall naturally into place behind that. Lord, You know it has been my prayer for quite some time and it has been my greatest desire to Love You with all my heart, soul, mind and strength. But Lord, this is not something that I can try to do. It's impossible. You have to do it through me because it is with You that all things are possible. It's through You, through Christ's shed blood from where my strength comes.



When You gave me your Word to delight myself in You...I tried. I have been trying so hard for so long. But when You said it just recently, today especially, I knew..it hit me...I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT!!!! I cried out to You because I was there once before and I wasn't even trying to be. My life was horrible but I could always turn to You. You were my delight, my joy, my hope, my strength. You breathed life into my spirit every day and kept me going through it all.



There was a time when delighting in You was as natural to me as "the air I breathe" and that is where I want to be again. Through all that I have mentioned and prayed, Lord, You have brought me to that place again. Lord, I can't delight in You by "trying" anything. It's been through prayer and Your Word that YOU have brought me to a place where I can delight in You. I know now that delighting in You is not something that I can do but it's something that You and only You can do in and through me and Father, I can truly say in this moment, You are my delight.



Thank You.



In Jesus Name,

Amen



Scripture References:



Delight Yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Ps 37:4



...For God delights in You Isaiah 62:4 (HEEEE delights in MEEEEEEEEE!!!)



Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. Mk. 12:30



I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. Phil. 4:13



Seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you. Matt. 6:33



I am the vine and you are the branches. He who abides in Me and I in him will bear

much fruit. Apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:5



If You abide in me and my words abide in you, you will ask what you desire (the desire will be put there by God) and it shall be done for you. John 15:7



Note: I pray that I will glorify You through the fruit I produce. I pray that I will be a good disciple for Your kindom's sake.



Final Note: Whe delighting in Him has become as natural as the air I breathe...then HE will truly give me the desires of my heart becuse those desires will match up with His desires for me.



end of journal entry



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I am amazed that the God who created the Universe and is in control of all things...desires time with me...He even delights in ME! There is no way to explain this to somebody who doesn't believe. But, I was once an unbeliever until God showed Himself to me. I now have a very personal relationship with Him. If you doubt...just cry out to Him. Ask Him to show Himself to You. Ask Him to make a believer out of you. He is sure to answer.