You Took Offense

Author:  Susan L. Prince

Today I heard a bit of insight on the radio, and it was one of those things that I caught mid-message and I have no idea who was the man responsible for the message. I don't even know what station I heard it on since I listen mostly to WSCAN. LOL Anyway, when he said it I immediately grabbed my pen and wrote it in my journal so I wouldn't forget it!

This is the thing he said that I found interesting:

Taking offense at something someone says or does when they did not intend to offend you, is your sin.

I only listened to about 3 minutes of this message that may have been 30 minutes long, but that was all I needed to hear of it today I guess. The snippet that I heard may have only been a side-note of a message on a completely different subject, so my "commentary" on it may not have a thing to do with the message in it's entirety.

The holiday Christmas season is a good example. I bet if I had left this sentence to say "holiday season" some Christian somewhere would have a fit. In fact, leaving it say "Christmas season" may offend someone else. Guess what, not my problem. I'm not meaning to offend a Christian if I wish someone "happy holidays" and I'm not meaning to offend anyone by saying "Merry Christmas". If someone is offended by my choice of words when I had no intention of using them to hurt, then I am guilty of nothing. 

The same is true in reverse. If someone says or does something that I find offensive, but they never intended to hurt or offend me, it is my problem. I think some Christians can be too complacent at times and not be offended by things they should, but this guy made a good point about Christians sometimes being overly sensitive.

Ever been slighted? Did the gang at work organize a spontaneous get-together at a local coffee shop and fail to mention it to you. You may have been on break or something and missed the word going around, but no one meant to exclude you. The next day, when you found out about it, you were bothered and upset that you weren't invited. You took offense.

Many Christians like myself work in a secular world. We have co-workers who pepper their language with terms no Christian should, or live a lifestyle that is very worldly. Should I cringe every time certain words are spoken in conversation when that person is simply sharing a story and using their own vocabulary? They are simply telling me a story about something that happened in their life, they haven't set out to intentionally offend me by what they say or how they say it. They have done nothing wrong. If I am offended, it's all on me. I took offense.

Offend means "To cause displeasure, anger, resentment, or wounded feelings in." (The Free Dictionary) or "a. to cause difficulty, discomfort, or injury b. to cause dislike, anger, or vexation"(Merriam-Webster)

Notice in each definition the part that says "to cause"? That means intent. If there was no intent "to cause", then you shan't be offended! If you are, it is only because you took it! You took offense!

This isn't to say that some behavior isn't offensive, it can be, but this little statement of wisdom that I heard today has caused me to consider what actually causes the "displeasure, anger, resentment, wounded feelings, difficulty, discomfort, injury, dislike, or vexation" in me. Is what caused it valid? Or am I allowing my arrogance, pride, and haughtiness, to cloud reason? If I am, then I am taking offense.

Taking offense is like stealing something that isn't mine. Taking offense is sin.

Friendship with God

Author:  Susan L. Prince

These are just "outloud ponderings" of something I read this morning in Robertson McQuilkin's book, Life in the Spirit.  It may or may not make sense.  I'm formulating some of it while I type.   McQuilkin mentioned that God wants to be our best friend.  He pointed out that "best friends have to know one another and like what they know.  They take every chance to get together and they work hard at doing what the other one likes."  That got me thinking about my relationship with God and if I put as much effort into getting to know Him and doing what He likes as I do in my relationship with my best friends.  

I do a lot of thinking, and just because something like this causes me to ruminate, it doesn't always mean that I conclude the negative.  It doesn't always mean that if I question it in myself, I must be reaching the conclusion that I fall short.  I simply ask myself these honest questions.  I ask them often.  If ever I do discover a deficiency, I hope to be quick to change a practice, a habit, or whatever I need to do to correct the situation.  

That being said, I've been thinking on this question recently.  Does my relationship with God reflect a "best friendship?" I thought about those I am closest to.  I thought about those couple of people I have allowed to know me more intimately than anybody else, about those I trust implicitly.  I thought about the effort I put into those friendships.  I do invest in my friends.  I have always invested deeply into those I believe God put into my life.  I consider my friends a blessing beyond anything I can explain.  I treasure the relationships that I have and care for them the best I know how.  I thank God for my friends on a daily basis and pray for them.  I do arrange things in my life in order that I may have time with my friends.  My friends pour into me, so it only makes sense that I would want to spend time with them.  I pray that God can use me to pour into them as well.  I think when God gives a friendship, it is somehow mutually satisfying and is sustained in a special godly love; we mutually exhort one another and this allows us to strengthen each other in the faith, and also, because there is trust and we understand that Christian love is the basis of all we share, we can speak into one another's life when a rebuke is needed.

Now, as I thought about my investment in my friendships, I started to consider what time and effort I put into my relationship with God, my Father, my Lord, my friend.  I have to admit that I at times recoil at saying, "I am a friend of God...He calls me 'friend.'"  It seems so small, and (I really HATE the I am a Friend of God song, but I digress.)  I live alone, therefore I have less distraction when I am home.  I can go to bed when I want and spend time with the Lord in quiet.  Nobody is here to ask me to get them something or listen to what they need to talk about. Do I take advantage of that?  You bet I do! :)

I spend so much time thanking God for my blessings that if God ever needed encouragement for a job well done, He would do well to get that from me!  I am mindful of the Spirit all day, every day.  Sure, there are moments in which I push Him aside when my worldly self takes over and I become selfish, but I usually come to my senses within minutes, and/or after a short ranting time (lol - to one of my best friends!). I believe that if I share my heart with God, even, and maybe especially, when it is not right, He alone can help me get it right.  He is totally aware of my bad attitude, so it is not like I'm telling Him anything He didn't already know. ;)  This is me spending time with God.  

I'm serious about Sabbath rest.  God commanded it and it was made for man. I do take one day a week, almost without fail, to just rest in His love.  I break from work, I break from tasks, and I just set out to enjoy my time.  It may be spending time with a friend, it may be time at the lake thinking about Him and enjoying creation as I walk through the woods or just sit and ponder, it may be going and doing something I enjoy (movies, carpool, drinking coffee at the Frog or Sbux, etc.), and possibly spending time in His Word...but, God gave me the day!  Of course I want to embrace it!  I have liberty in Him and try to enjoy it to its fullest!  Like a friend who gives me a gift, I open it up and enjoy it. :)

There is no awkward silence with a friend, instead, it is often comforting.  There is no awkward silence with God.

Here's something kind of whacked...I absolutely LOVE getting to know my friends.  I LOVE going through old pictures, scrapbooks, asking about their past and if I am so blessed, visiting the places that mean so much to them.  I learn about their passions seeing what they spend their time and effort doing.  With God, I have thousands of years of history to read about to learn about Him! I LOVE His Word and seeing all that He has done and learning about His passion for His people!  I've concluded that in many ways, I enjoy a special friendship with God.  

I do put the time and effort into knowing Him as much as I can. This is not to say that I am perfect about making the time, or saying and doing the right things, as either of my closest friends would attest to, but it is a friendship nonetheless.  I am an imperfect friend with a perfect God.  It may be onesided at times, but that is what makes friendship work.  Forgiveness, mercy, grace and love exists in my relationship with God, and He makes that evident to me on a daily basis.  Why the heck would I not want to be friends with Him? 

Betrayal

Author: Susan L. Prince

Been thinking about betrayal, the ultimate breakdown of trust.  How is it that after the disciples, and yes, all of them betrayed him at one point, especially as He went to suffering and death, was Jesus able to commission them to go out and make disciples.  How was he able to trust them with such a large responsibility after how they had just all failed Him?

Judas we all know died the ultimate betrayer.  He killed himself.  What if he had repented instead? 

Peter repented and Jesus restored him.  He restored all of the disciples.

Jesus, who knows the hearts of men, understood that his friends had weaknesses and His love covered over those weaknesses.  He was able to send them out to represent Himself and trust their repentance. Jesus knew the hearts of the men He surrounded Himself with, and therefore He was able to trust them, despite their failings.  The relationships could be restored. 

It doesn't seem so easy for humans.  Jesus, afterall, created humans, so He knows our hearts.  I can't know the hearts of men, or can I?  What if I took the time to really get to know somebody.  What if during conversation over coffee, I looked into the eyes of the person sitting across from me.  What if I asked deep, personal and intimate questions?  What if I didn't assume I knew somebody well, but really dug into their lives by spending time with them, by listening to them without offering advice or commiserating, but just listened.  I think after some time, I might *know* that person.  At least I would know them better.  

But, what if that person betrayed me?  Would I question myself?  Would I question the heart of that person?  

I have been hurt by people.  I am not easily offended, so it is not easy to do, but it is possible.  Thing is, I really try to know the hearts of the people I surround myself with.  I could never *know,* really KNOW, the hearts of all of the people in my life, but those that I make time to *know,* I trust.  

I have been hurt by people I have trusted, but love really does cover over a multitude of sin.  It can only really happen if I know the heart of a person.  If I know the heart of that person is bent on repentance and reconciliation, and I see behaviors that line up with that, trust can flourish again.  In fact, in some situations, the trust never waivers.  

It's an odd thing, this Christian life.  

God, help me to never betray my friends.

Help me to never betray You.

What Does Christmas Feel Like?

Author: Susan L. Prince


I was talking with a friend the other day and I observed that it didn't feel like Christmas to me.  She asked, "What does Christmas feel like?"

I answered, "I don't know...it just feels happier, people are nicer, families gather together, there are great meals...," decorations and commemorations, and people think about Jesus.  I said that I can remember as a kid how exciting Christmas was, that I couldn't wait for it to come, and that now, the appeal is just gone.

Then, last night as my friend and I sat around watching George C. Scott portray Ebenezer Scrooge, I was struck by the thought that it felt like Christmas. All I was doing was sitting around wrapped up in a blanket, watching a Christmas movie with a friend.  Her home is decorated with greenery and lights, ceramic, snow-covered villages and many scented candles glowing, and I was sitting there observing all of it.

She had just finished making a tasty dinner for me, poured sparkling cider into my glass, made sure I was comfortable and warm, and that her home was inviting and seasonally appealing while being entertained by a classic holiday film.  It felt like Christmas.

It felt like Christmas because of the the holiday decorations, the sights and sounds, but most of all because I was spending time with a friend.  This special friend had just spent a part of her day making me feel comfortable and happy by serving me.  It was her good pleasure.

When I think about Christmases past and why they were so anticipated, (obviously as a child, getting presents is the big appeal), but as one grows older, it's the family time and the meal we all share that starts to be the important part.  I think about my Gram making that turkey gravy, and Grandpa challenging me to eat all those mashed potatoes.  I think about Grandma's laughter and seeing to it that everybody is happy, and then taking pictures of us that leave off our heads, feet or the people on either side.  I miss those people.  I miss those times.  They can never be again, because those people are no longer here. I live so far from home and miss my family.

Spending that time with my friend yesterday made me realize that it is the people I miss.  It's the people in my life who have served me and have seen to it that I am happy. My joy has been one of their greatest concerns. You know what?  I am so blessed that even though the people that I miss are gone from my life on this earth, He has seen to it that I've never been without people in my life who love me and want to see me happy, and show me this through serving me.  They are pleased to give of themselves to me, their time, attention, resources, talents and gifts.

At Christmastime I'm remembering how God leads us to do this for each other.  He first did this by giving us life, then He gave us His Son, and His Son gave us salvation.  We should rejoice that our names are written in heaven. It has been His good pleasure to serve us!  That bloggles the mind!

What does Christmas feel like?  It feels like I'm loved.

Avoiding the Appearance of Evil?

Author: Susan L. Prince

"Despise not prophesyings. Prove all things; hold fast that which is good. Abstain from all appearance of evil." (1 Thess. 5:19-22 KJV) has often been used to caution Christians about doing anything that might look like sinful behavior to another, or further, might cause somebody to stumble in the faith.

The verse has always kind of bothered me because I am conscientious about my behavior and would never want somebody to stumble because of something they saw me doing. It also would bring up discussion about doing things that appear evil to one person, may not appear evil to another, we all have different opinions about what constitutes "questionable behavior," like going to the movies, or maybe into a bar, or what we watch on tv. 

 I often think about Jesus and his ministry and how he hung out with "sinners" and was around people who partook of wine at parties and spoke to tax collectors and prostitutes. If His behavior had the appearance of evil, how the heck am I going to avoid appearing evil? 

It's also interesting to note how different generations in the church view certain things. The older generation might say the guitar or drums in church is evil, or that rock music is "of the devil." Dancing or smoking a cigar might be a problem for some, or possibly having a tattoo, but when we start avoiding things that others' might deem "questionable," we start infringing on a believer's liberty in Christ. We can easily become legalistic and start calling things "unclean" that simply are inconsequential to God or are pure in His eyes. It also can cause us to start judging one another, our actions and motives, so I think properly understanding this verse is very important.

I heard something on the radio yesterday that brought this to the surface of my brain and I thought I'm going to research it. It turns out that I could only find the "appearance" term in the King James Version, and that in the translation I use, NIV, it says, "do not treat prophecies with contempt. Test everything. Hold on to the good. Avoid every kind of evil." It says "avoid every kind of evil. Other translations use, "every form of evil," and I like what The Message says, "Throw out anything tainted with evil."

It became clear to me just from that little revelation, that Paul wasn't saying avoid questionable behavior, he was saying avoid anything sinful. It is important to weigh what is said, or prophesied, and determine if it is good or bad and if it is bad, avoid it!

"Quench not the Spirit. Despise not prophesyings. Prove all things; hold fast that which is good. Abstain from all appearance of evil." (1 Thess. 5:19-22)

I think it is better understood that we avoid evil, no matter how it appears to us, or in whatever form it takes. Evil can appear to us in many ways, even as "an angel of light," which is why we need to first determine if what we encounter is good or evil, and if it is evil, throw it out and run away!

"What Makes You Think...???"

Author:  Susan L. Prince

Isn't it amazing how something said almost in passing can literally "stop a person in his tracks" and really change a person's thinking?

Has that ever happened to you?  It has me and I am going to share the nugget of wisdom that was passed along to me a year or so ago by my friend, Chris Rowland.  Chris probably won't even remember the conversation, and she can't know how much those few words she spoke that day impacted me.

I was sharing with her one day in a quick conversation that we just happened to pick up in passing, that I wasn't sure I was really getting anything out of the discussions we'd been having in our SaLT Group Bible Study and I didn't think I was going to go one night.  (Really, it was probably just a lame excuse because I didn't feel like going.)  Chris said to me, "What makes you think you are supposed to get something out of SaLT?  Maybe we are supposed to get something from you."

BAM.


Chris and I went on about our day going separate ways, but what she said struck a chord in me.  I'm the type of person that really ponders and thinks about things when they are spoken to me, and that just wouldn't let me go.  The Holy Spirit convicted me, and used Chris Rowland to point out an error in my thinking at that time.  What she said was also a springboard for me to start utilizing my spiritual gifts the way they were intended to be used when God gave them to me.

Armed with the understanding that as I study my Bible, God will reveal things to me for the sole purpose of helping others' see truth, I can use my gifts to edify the Body and glorify God.  It is my part in the Body of Christ!  It's not about me!  Ever since that talk with Chris, I have approached Bible study differently and understand that God may use me during our SaLT Group meeting times to impart a word to another person.  He may not, but it is my responsibility to prepare myself appropriately and be willing to use my gift at all times.

Now, here's another cool thing that I realized talking with a friend at church today.  My friend confessed that she sometimes is fearful to speak up in a group of people with something that the Lord may be prompting her to share.  I tried to encourage her using this story of Chris encouraging me, but then realized something else, that if you don't share what God wants you to, you are robbing God's people.  I also pointed out that had Chris not shared with me that "maybe we are supposed to get something from you," I would have continued to rob God's people from something.  The flip side of that of course, is the "ripple effect,"  Who knows how many other people have been affected by what Chris said to me that day?

What Chris said to me opened my eyes to see that I need to be available to God and be obedient to share with others what He reveals to me.  Over the course of this past year, as I have learned to share more and more, it is quite possible that something I've passed along has impacted somebody else profoundly.  I'm not saying that to toot my own horn, because I'm not, it's all God anyway, but I am saying it to point out that God may have charged you with speaking truth into somebody else's life, and you need to be obedient to tell what you know.

So, I ask you, the reader, what makes you think you are supposed to get something out of _________?  Maybe we are supposed to get something from you."

Knot, Knot, Knot on Wood

Author: Susan L. Prince

The past few days I have spent on my knees.  No, not in prayer, although I was very mindful of God during this little project, especially when I noticed the knots in the wood of the deck I was applying water sealer to.

I walk around on the deck feeling the smooth wood beneath my bare feet, spend time at the table reading newspapers, drinking coffee and doing Bible study, often by candlelight and the light given off from the flame of the tiki lamps.  I've had the deck for two years now and it is one of the best investments I have ever made.

One of my really favorite things to do is lie on the wood once it is heated by the sun.  I love it!  I don't know why, it is just something I enjoy doing.

One night I even decided to sleep on it and I did!  Katie did, too, for part of the night, even though she made for herself a contraption of netting to protect herself from bugs and whatnot.   I braved the elements, just me and my bag and "woo pillow".

I've really learned to enjoy my deck and want to protect it so it will last as long as possible.  I applied water sealer to it shortly after it was built and figured it was time for another application.  This time I was more meticulous about the process and noticed something that fascinated me.

I saw the knots.  

The first time I sealed the deck I used a pressure sprayer, so I stood above the wood, spraying it with sealant.  Today, I used a brush and applied the sealant by hand, therefore it required me to be on my knees, brushing over every single surface of the deck.  Because I was so much closer and literally going over every inch of the wood, I really took notice of the knots.

Knots are the bases of branches that died, broke off, and then were covered over as the tree grew.  Knots are considered imperfections, because in the timber world, they reduce the strength of the wood.  They often appear darker in color, and I think, add character to a piece of wood.  Today they added immensely to my day out in the sun, working on the deck.

I noticed the detail of the grain of the wood.  With my brush, I would follow the grain, then come upon a knot.  The grain of the wood where the knot was, changes.  The grain takes a turn around the knot and sometimes the grain changes direction a whole 90 degrees.

I started thinking about the fact that those were once branches on a healthy, living and growing tree.  I looked at the different planks of wood that were placed together to form the floor of the deck and saw that each plank had varying wood grain and texture from the next.  The knots were all in different places, too.

Reminded of John 15:2, "He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful," I looked at a knot and studied it.  I considered for a moment that it was a scar in the tree that was now a plank of wood on my deck.  The branch that had been growing there was weak, or for whatever reason, it fell off, and the tree continued to grow, "swallowing" up that hole that was left, filled it with resin, and went on with life, growing stronger and stronger as time went on, producing whatever fruit is was designed to produce.  The branch that had been a hindrance to that tree producing good fruit was cut off. 

There are knots in my life.  The areas of my life that have been weak, or ways of thinking that were destructive, have been pruned away by God.  He is able to reveal to me through my prayer life, fellow believers, His Word and circumstances, where these hindrances and things that produce rotten fruit are. He cuts them off, so I can continue to grow in Him and therefore produce good fruit. 

I was also thinking about how these "knots", or scars, remain in me, although often hidden from view.  I am grateful for those "knots" so I can remember not to go that way again, producing rotten fruit.  

I am glad I have knots, and like the knots in the wood I was examining today as I brushed over it, I was able to see the beauty in the imperfections.  Every piece of wood is astonishingly beautiful in its own way, and the knots make it that much more appealing to me.  I was able to see the strength in the weakness.  Something else occurred to me as I pondered; that my brothers and sisters in the Lord all have knots.  

Just like the wood grain and texture was different in each plank of wood, we are all different.  We grow spiritually at different paces, we are pruned for various things and our knots form, but He continues growing us to produce good fruit.  When we are put together, like the planks of wood on my deck, we are a beautiful piece of work that the world can see as His Church, and behold as the glory of the Lord. Knots and all!