Iowa IV - Meeting New Friends

Deleana and Connie

Meeting Deleana was a real treat. I knew right away we'd be good friends. She reminds me so much of me when I was married. Her humility and love are beyond words. Her kids are well mannered, smart and funny. Her faith is so strong. I remember when mine was like that. (I realized during my visit that something was missing in my life, a fire has dwindled down to a very small flame. My faith is so much smaller than it used to be and I want it to burn brightly again. I have lost my childlike faith.)

On Sunday we met somebody special. Deleana told Sue that Connie was dying to meet me. I have no clue why, but she has been praying for us for a long time. We met at a coffee shop called Holy Grounds....isn't that funny? What a great name for a Christian coffee shop. Connie and I hit it off as if we were old friends and when she hugged me, I knew our appointment was Divine.

So, there we sat, the four of us. We began sharing our visions and hopes for the future. We dreamed up this Christian mall where hurting people could come to hear the word of God while having coffee, getting a hair cut, buying wholesome movies and music for their families...and so forth. We also discussed a common vision of having a mini conference like the Women of Faith in our own areas. In the process, we began to choose which of us is most like one of those ladies. It turned out to be quite funny. In fact, our whole visit was hysterical. We laughed so loud, so hard, and so long that we were beginning to think that other shoppers would think we were at a bar instead of a coffee shop!!!!!

I mentioned to Connie that I had just begun working in women's ministry and she confirmed that this had been a Divine apointment. She just retired from 30 years in women's ministry. We made a date for Saturday night to get together for tea. (We both love tea and she lives in a tea home! Tea stuff everywhere! I loved it!) Oh, speaking of tea...I have to go get mine.

So, while Sue was at Tina's wedding, I was getting blessed at Connie's. We went out for tacos then shopping for the dinner she was having for the 4 of us girls, her husband, and son on Sunday evening. When we returned to her tea house, we went downstairs to watch a Beth Moore video and to discuss women's ministry stuff. That was the greatest part of all!

The video was awesome. We were both shouting out loud as Beth gave the most powerful message I have ever heard her give. It was video number 9 of the new Believing God series. Perhaps I'll share more about that in another blog.

Connie and I discussed the video while eating tea and fresh baked chocolate chip and caramel pecan cookies! The cookies were the only presence of sin in the room during this time LOL. We made a heart connection through her ministry to me as she encouraged me in ministry to others. She is so full of the Spirit and blessed me to the bottom of my toes! When the evening came to a close, she once again told me that our time together was a Divine appointment. I believe she was right.

The best was yet to come, however. Church was the next morning and then a special meeting after dinner that evening. I think Sue wants to share about church so I'll stop here. But, I will continue with the Iowa series after Sue's next episode!

Take it away Sue!!!!

Nothing to Do With Iowa

While reading the book, "Big Girls Don't Whine" by Jan Silvious, I felt a confirmation on something I had been pondering for a while. I often wonder why God puts people on this earth who are considered unattractive and some actually may be considered physically detestable by others. I have been thinking a lot about how I criticize my imperfections and how I have my own perception of who is attractive to me and who isn't...and why. Like most people, I desire to be considered attractive by others and a compliment always helps give me a boost of self-esteem. There are things about me that I really want to change. Doesn't everyone have those things? For instance, I don't like my nose. I won't say why because I feel like it's obvious but, maybe others don't see it like I do. However, why should it matter how others see it? God made it the way it is.

In Psalm 139, the psalmist writes, "You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous and how well I know it."

Do I?

Do I know how marvelous His workmanship is?

My creator has created countless human beings on this planet throughout history and no two are alike! He has created each of us just the way he wants us to be. His thoughts are not like mine or any other man's. (See Isaiah 55:8) Just think about it! He is making each of us unique, different from anybody else. When He created my nose he may have thought, "This nose will be perfect for her, my daughter whom I love! What a marvelous piece of work!" But instead, I go through life wondering if I'll ever get an opportunity to be on Extreme Makeover to have my body made to my liking...or the liking of others.

I have scars on my body from surgeries...surgeries that helped me to feel better. I should look at those scars as the miracle God has given me through modern medicine. Then there's damage done to my abdomen and other scars that I have from bringing life into the world. God breathed life into my womb and all I do is find fault and worry about what the world's view is of me because of the scars it left on my body! Give me a break..even better, Give God a break!

I think the most amazing part of it all is that He doesn't even look at the physical...he made all the delicate "inward" parts and the inner being is what God is most concerned with...who we are, not what we look like. That is also the part that we should be more concerned about. There are many people who are very beautiful but we miss out on that beauty because of what we see with our eyes.

The other day I was putting make up on Sue and telling her that God made a beautiful face for her and now I'm going to cover it up. I said it tongue in cheek but with a slight twinge of conviction. And I still put on my make-up every morning because I feel insecure without it. I don't believe it's a crime or a sin to wear make up. I think it's fun to do make-overs. The point I'm trying to make is...why is it that we let the world tell us what is beautiful? Who started the "perfect body" mentality and who has ever had one? In God's eyes our bodies are perfect when He creates them. We just mess them up and always want what somebody else has. We want what somebody else has determined is beautiful instead of being content with what God has determined that we need. I am as guilty of this as the next person.

Sue made an interesting observation when she mentioned Adam and Eve in the garden. They celebrated the beauty of God's creation until that dreadful moment that their eyes were open to the knowledge of good and evil. It was sin that allowed them to see the physical man and they were ashamed. Prior to their destructive little "snack" they saw with God's love instead of their own eyes. Would anything ever be "ugly" if mankind had no knowledge of sin?

Iowa III - The Wedding

The reason for my trip to IA was to see my friend Tina be married. She was married at First Friends Church in Marshalltown by a Pastor Thomas Vos. I think the pastor is from another church, but I was very impressed with his leadership over the ceremony.

I was very nervous about attending this wedding. Tina and I were once the closest of friends, and actually I spent most of my adult life sharing a home with her. We met in college and lived on the same floor of the dorm at the University of Akron. We eventually shared an apartment off campus and once we both graduated, we upgraded to a nice apartment in another city while we both started our careers. We both got tired of renting and decided to go in on a house together and so we bought one in Rittman, OH in 1991. We shared that house a few years, until her job moved her to Traverse City, MI. I followed her there when I was laid off from my teaching position. We lived there a year, and then moved to Marshalltown, IA in 1996. So Tina and I shared a home from 1986 to the very end of 1999. That's a long time! Anyway, we got along well, but at the end there were some tensions as we both started going different directions in life. These "tensions" were not ill feelings, or anger, or anything like that at all...it was more of an awkwardness than anything. I had started living for the Lord and she, well, was not. It is that simple, but it made for a difficult situation and that is when I followed the Lord's leading to move from Marshalltown, IA to Tennessee.

When I left IA, T and I had become "distant". I still consider us friends, but it's so different now and hard to explain. I was really nervous about the wedding, because while I was wanting to be there, I was uncomfortable not knowing anything about her anymore. I didn't know the man she was marrying, and really haven't kept in touch much but for an email every six months or so. I left Marshalltown five years ago and we had become "distant" then, I didn't know what to expect now.

I was really anxious throughout the day Saturday and Katie and Deleana kept trying to help me relax. They couldn't understand what on earth had me so nervous, and really I couldn't explain it. I was not sure what to expect when I saw T again, let alone all of her family and friends that I once knew. At the same time I was excited to see everyone again, just not sure what to expect.

I arrived at the wedding about a half hour prior to the start of the ceremony. I immediately started recognizing faces, but couldn't always place names! LOL A woman came right up to me and gave me a big hug and said "it's so good to see you!" and I remembered Shari Grace immediately! She and I went to a lot of movies together, made DQ runs and each fall/spring I'd clean out her gutters for her. It was so good to see her. This welcome made me relax a bit, and then I saw Charlene Martin, one of the women in T's wedding party. I asked if I could see T and Charlene said teasingly "no! Hold on, let me check" and then she invited me into the room where T was dressed and having her picture taken in her beautiful wedding gown, hat and all. I gave T a hug and told her how beautiful she was. T hugged me back, but it was rather stiff I think because she was trying to remain "perfect" for her wedding. She didn't want to get a hair out of place. Anyway, she gave me some instructions that I needed as "gift attendant" and asked me to also head to the house to feed the cats and let the dog out. That was the extent of our "conversation" and I was disappointed seeing as though she and I had once been close friends, sharing intimate details of our lives, and now I'm at her wedding getting instructions on letting the dog out. The "awkwardness" was obvious, but this was her big day and I was just going to stay out of the way.

I saw her mom in there and gave her mom and big hug and said hello to a few other people in there that I haven't seen in five years. I was starting to relax a bit, but was most excited to see Irma. I left that room and headed back out to the lobby area where guests were lined up waiting to sign the guestbook as they arrived for the ceremony.

I then saw Irma! I headed right on over to give Irma a huge hug and it was so good to see her again. Irma is very important in my life because she is one of the women God used to draw me to Himself. She was a big part of my early Christian life.

Irma and I decided to sit together, but I wasn't sure what to do because I was supposed to be the "gift attendant" and receive the gifts as people brought them in. Luckily I had a partner helping, so Theresa told me to go on in and she would deal. I was excited to have a chance to sit and chat with Irma before the wedding. She and I went in and sat down close to the front on the left side, Tina's side, and talked.

I was amazed looking around at all the faces and especially how much Tina's nieces and nephews had grown! Oh my! I saw a familiar face at the end of the same pew I was in and wondered a minute who that woman was. The face was so familiar and then I connected her as the woman who was the funeral director for all of the dearly departed in T's family. I wasn't totally sure, so I asked Big, Tina's brother-in-law, who that woman was. He confirmed, it was Mary Ann Bauer, the "funeral lady". I had sat with T and her Grandmother and this woman while making arrangements to bury her uncle, and she was there for the death of T's other uncle and most recently her Grandmother a year ago. I caught up with Mary Ann at the reception and told her that it was good to see her at something a bit more celebratory! LOL

The wedding was beautiful, as I expected anything T would plan would be, and the pastor who led the ceremony shared a wonderful Christian message about God's intention for marriage. He also shared the gospel! It was unlike any wedding message I have ever heard! He literally laid out the plan of salvation! I was so elated! I really hope Tina was paying attention! I'd like to post some pictures of the wedding, but I'm new at using my digital and only managed to get some pictures of the floor and the back of Irma's legs, which I'm sure she wouldn't want me to post! It's that stupid delay! I press the button and expect a picture, instead the the thing flashes twice and then snaps! I can't get used to that!

After the ceremony I walked out with Irma to attend to the gifts. THEY WERE GONE! I said to Irma, "see, I failed at my job as a gift attendant! They've all been stolen!" Actually, my partner Theresa, had already packed them all up to move them to the country club where the reception was.

I followed Irma to the country club and joined my gift attendant partner, Theresa, at the gift table. I decided that we needed a more specialized name because we were entrusted with a very important job. We were sure to secure the cards and envelopes with the corresponding gifts so Tina and Jim would know who the heck the gift was from. (Note to self: *place card inside of wedding gift packages) We were armed with rolls of scotch tape and made sure nothing would be lost in transport. We were security detail!

Irma went into the hall and found a place for us to sit, but I needed to remain outside the hall, in the lobby, to receive the gifts as they poured in. I occasionally joined Irma in the hall because I got bored waiting for the wedding party who did not arrive until ONE AND A HALF HOURS LATER! Irma was astonished at how nervous I was. I was just nervous to be seeing Tina again and feeling really weird about not even knowing her anymore.

When Tina finally arrived, she asked "did you let the dog out?" I said "I thought I was to do that when I took the gifts to the house after the reception." T then slowly, with emphasis, said "ON THE WAY to the reception". Now that hurt my feelings. I didn't let it show and said "I'll go now". She asked "are you sure it's okay?" and I said yes and left immediately.

In all the directions that T was barking at me when I arrived as the gift attendant, she had asked me to feed the cats and let the dog out as well. Not a problem, but I missed the part about needing to go before the reception.

While Tina was giving the DJ instructions to announce the arrival of the bride and groom, I was getting in my jeep and heading to the house to take care of the animals. I couldn't help but feel slighted and dumped on. This person who was once my closest friend, is sending me off on a job during her reception! I was hurt.

It was weird going into the house I once lived in. Somebody else's stuff was in there! LOL But, it was fun to see Ashes and Oreo again too! (The cats)

I returned to the reception and enjoyed my time conversing with Tina's family whom I hadn't seen in almost ten years. We didn't have long to chat, but it was still good seeing everyone. All and all, my nervousness and worry was a waste of energy, but what I thought might happen, did happen. T and I picked up right where we left off...distant.

It is so sad for me to remember the close friendship we once shared, and now I feel virtually nothing. T is a stranger to me now. It is so weird. Time keeps marching forward, and things will never be as they once were. My heart hurts a little when I think about that.

The wedding is over and I pray that Tina and her new husband, Jim, will find the happiness in life and love that they have searched for. Most of all, I pray that they both will discover a Love so deep, so far, so wide that they won't even be able to fathom it! God is pursuing them and I pray one day they will acknowledge Him!

Iowa II - The Quest for Fruit

More on the Iowa trip...

I have to say that driving long distances is bad for healthy eating. I must do better to prepare next time. It seems that most convenient stores, if not all of them, do not carry fresh fruit. So, on the way to IA, after I ran out of bananas, when we stopped I bought a chocolate bar to snack on along with some bottled water. It was good to eat chocolate. However, soon I started craving something salty to offset the sweet of the candy. So, we stopped again and I got myself a can of Pringles, the lowfat kind, now made with olean...which I do NOT like! So, after eating some of those chips and the chocolate bar, I started really not feeling well. It wasn't as though I was nauseated or anything, I just was feeling "ick".

I started desiring to eat something "hearty" and got my mind set on eating at Rube's Steakhouse, where the steaks are fresh. Cut off the cow, put in the fridge, there for me to put on the grill to cook myself, and then eat! YUM! Tennessee needs some steak places like that! So, when Katie and I arrived and said hello to Deleana, we quickly decided to head to Rube's. Friday night would really be my only chance because they aren't open on Sunday, Saturday was the wedding, and who knows what might come up and I didn't want to miss the chance to eat there. It was delicious! At least I thought so, Katie wasn't impressed with the steaks, but they are the best I've ever had. I guess we all have different tastes. She did enjoy the grill your own steak idea though! If you ever get out that way in IA, you really should check out Rube's!

So, all weekend we ate fairly decent meals, then on the way home, when we stopped overnight in Warrenton, MO, I had a bag of M&Ms and some Cheeze-Its. Ugh. I couldn't even finish the Cheeze-Its. My body really has adjusted to eating much healthier food, so they next day when I awakened, I was craving fresh fruits and vegetables! I have NEVER worried about what I put into my body, until this year, 2005, when I committed to eating healthier. I really have started feeling better and a bit more energetic since eating all the fruits and vegetables that I want. So, when we went to Denny's for breakfast, I actually ordered grapes in a fruit cup! My mom is probably very impressed! I ordered some toast and a couple of eggs, but thoroughly enjoyed my grapes! They were delicious!

Katie and I then hit the road and passed through St. Louis. We stopped about an hour or so into our drive to fill the gas tank and tried to find some fresh fruit to eat. Again, gas stations are not known for their aisles and aisles of fresh produce, so after filling up we opted to continue on down the interstate looking for a place we could buy fruit. We drove quite awhile on past St. Louis and finally found Exit 96...now that place is happening! Walmart! Supercenter! Food Center! YES! So we went in a raided the apples, carrots and fresh fruit bowls. It was a fruit frenzy! Oh, it was sooooooooooooo refreshing! We ate apples, grapes, pineapple, orange, and Katie especially enjoyed some melon. We bought enough to get us the entire five hours to home, and all I have left is one apple and a bit of the fruit frenzy bowl.

After I dropped the kids off at school this morning, I hit up Kroger and bought more! God really has done a miracle here! I'm addicted to fresh fruit! Matter of fact I just finished my pineapple cup!

The secret to my healthy eating is this, I always remember the words Katie spoke to me "you can eat all the fruits and vegetables you want." I never go hungry, and in fact, I feel full most of the time. I like eating healthy! My mom is going to flip out!

So, the lesson learned here is to pack more fruits and vegetables for the road when traveling.

A Quickie!

Sue has stepped away and now I have time for a quickie blog! I just want to say that I have never been so blessed from fellowshipping with a bunch of sisters in Christ as I was with this group from Marshalltown Iowa. I look forward to talking about the times we shared as soon as possible. We laughed so hard, prayed so deep and fellowship was so sweet. God really blessed my time and I made some new friends/family this past weekend. I sure do miss Connie and Deleana. I'm so thankful that God brought us together. I really am excited to share about our time at Holy Grounds (a christian cafe) and the time spent with Connie and her tea house and the pajama parties and, and, and, oh just wait!!!!!! God is sooooooooo good!!!!! Glory to the One who gave everything He had so that I could know His love!!!!! Wooohoooooo!!!!!

Brad

Brad, a former manager of mine, was diagnosed with cancer about 2 years ago. It was caught in late stages and his prognosis was never very promising. Despite that, his wife married him and chose to be with him through his pain and suffering.

I last talked to Brad about 2 months ago and at the time he said he was feeling ok despite the circumstances, but had decided to give up on the chemotherapy because it was making him too ill. I told him I was coming to visit in April and that I'd like to come see him if he was up to it. At the time he said he planned on being around because he had tickets to see Elton John in Minneapolis. (He's a HUGE Elton fan.) One Christmas Brad gave to me the Yellow Brick Road CD and wrote on it that if I work for him, I must have that CD in my collection. It is one of my most treasured gifts.

Not long ago I got an email from a mutual friend telling me that if I ever wanted to talk with Brad again, that I should contact him soon because he was "fading fast". I called and emailed, but for about a week, I never received a reply. I took that as a sign that things were not good.

In IA, I did get another email from Jared, that mutual friend, who basically passed along information on Friday that Brad had just hours left, according to the hospice nurse. At that point my suspicions were confirmed and I knew that there would be no opportunity for me to see Brad. It was time now for only his closest family and friends to be with him. I then finally got a reply from Tracy, Brad's wife, basically telling me that the end was near and I wouldn't be able to see Brad. She was responding to a ten day old email I sent. I emailed her back and she told me that I could send an email to Brad and she would read it to him, because they believed he could still hear. Reality kicked in for me. Brad was really dying. Forty-three years young and he lay dying in a hospital bed set up in his living room. Wasting away to nothing. I hate cancer!

I emailed her some remembrances I had of Brad and also some scripture hoping to comfort and soothe fearful and aching hearts. Nothing can do that better than the power of God's Word, so that was what I sent to her. She emailed me back and told me that what I sent was "beautiful and comforting." I've never met Brad's wife, but I know that she must be one heck of a woman to first of all marry someone knowing that within a few short years she would be a widow, two, that she involved me, a total stranger to herself, in Brad's dying process via email, and three, the kind words she sent to be after his death at 5:25 on Monday, April 4, their second wedding anniversary. Amazing, on Friday he had just hours, yet held out for his anniversary on Monday.

Brad, I miss you! I will never hear an Elton John song without thinking of you!



Brad's obituary

Iowa

Oh, our trip to Iowa was absolutely amazing! There are many aspects of the trip I'd like to post about, but it would take forever to get through it, so I'm going to be breaking it into pieces parts. I'll post somewhat of an overview, the wedding experience, church and the women we spent so much time with, and I will be sure to post something about Brad.

The weather was grand the entire trip. Nice driving weather, which is good when you are driving 12 hours! We broke the trip up a bit and stayed in Warrenton, outside of St. Louis, overnight on our way to and from IA. It was a good "halfway" point.

Most of the way we listened either to talk radio or Christian music, and a lot of the psalms from my Bible on CD. Katie I chatted and laughed a lot as we usually do when we are together for any period of time. It was good to spend uninterrupted time with my best friend.

We arrived at about 4:30pm at our destination, my friend Deleana's. She lives on a pig farm. I'm not talking 4 or 5 hogs, I'm talking hundreds! Oh boy! As soon as Katie and I opened the door, the odor of pig manure about blew us over! Just our luck it was stall cleaning day! UGH! LOL Here are some pics of the farm where we stayed. This is the farmhouse, and you can see Jeepers parked there next to Deleana's silver van. Staying in the farmhouse reminded me of the days I stayed on the farm with my friend Tina, whose wedding I attended this past weekend. It was the main purpose for my trip.

The next picture is of some of the farm buildings. The pigs are in the pen which is in between the silos and that building with the old truck parked in front of it. I was awakened one morning by this horrendous squealing sound. I asked Deleana, "what on earth is that?" and she laughed and said it was the hogs being fed. It's a real highlight of the morning when the hogs get their chow! They get very happy and let everyone know it! Deleana made us laugh when she went on to explain what it sounds like when a pig "couple" decides to mate! LOL So between the noise and the smell, I'm not sure why anyone would choose to raise hogs! Luckily, the following day, the wind changed direction and the odor of the pig manure was not as prominent. We could actually breathe on Saturday! LOL

Deleana was so happy to have us stay at her home and really made us feel welcome. Katie was all excited to stay in the "Christmas Room". It is a room that is decorated for Christmas all year round and is simply jolly. It was really neat the way she had it all done up and like a dork, I didn't take any pics of that! grrrrrrrr! I stayed in a small room downstairs, which was good because it was closest to the computer! LOL

We so enjoyed our stay on the pig farm. It was quite an experience and the best part of the stay there was each night when the three of us, Katie, Deleana and I had our pajama parties. It was like we were all young kids again, sharing stories, laughing and just getting to know one another better. Oh, I will cherish these memories for a lifetime!